Tripp and Jeff return from an important mission to buy explosives for Big Momma's trench/Native American blow-out, but they only have a lavender-vanilla Yankee Candle to show for it. Tripp's mother, Angelica, mistakes the candle for the dynamite they were supposed to buy, thinking it must be one excellent stick for the money. She plans to put it secretly on Native lands, blowing them up, securing Big Momma's trench, and getting her son and friend accolades. Tripp just gets the idea that they can sneak onto the reservation to buy themselves "some good stuff".
An evil laugh floats on a foul wind to Angelica: the self-styled "Uber Minion", who tried to eliminate Angelica to become Big Momma's only minion! He has returned, not with vengeance, but with an offer to join forces! He wants to dethrone Big Momma, which shocks Angelica. Angelica brags about the explosives that will finally complete Big Momma's plans! Unfortunately, a pizza delivery person interrupts them and unexpectedly whips out a lighter and lights up the candle. Angelica braces for the explosion, and everyone else relaxes with the lavender-vanilla. Angelica goes in search of her son. Uber Minion says he'll be waiting for her to join him...
Local weatherman Jeffrey Barber announces a plague of locusts about to swarm Solomon's River.
An old couple watching the report, Grandma and Grandpa, try to remember the last plague in aught-four. They grab their Bibles to pray and Grandpa notices some pages have been chewed out by their granddaughter, who should be changing Great-Grandpa. Grandma opens the door and locust swarm, eating them all down to skeletons.
The locust swarm continues to sweep across Solomon's River, closer and closer to the city proper.
A local hardware store tries to take advantage of the plague by discounting flamethrowers.
- What will Angelica do when confronting Tripp about the Yankee Candle?
- Will Tripp and Jeff find a mighty high on the reservation?
- Is Big Momma's time truly done, and is the Uber Minion strong enough to take her place?
- What's up with the plague of flesh-eating locusts?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
Tripp and his friend Jeff are rummaging around his old bar The Dead Canary, hoping to find some salvage. To his surprise, his mother, Angelica, is alive and even has a job for them! Angelica give them a "fat wad" to buy explosives from some guy on C Street...in Lowertown (he is one of the only sad men left in the place run by women). They are to buy the explosives and set them up on the Reservation to help eliminate the opposition to Big Momma's plans for a Lake Superior trench.
Tripp and Jeff are having trouble remembering so many steps, but they manage to get to Lowertown and find a man, Bobby, who will point them to Donnie for $20. Bobby out-thinks them easily and takes a good chunk of their money. He also warns them to only look at Donnie's good eye, be patient with his speech impediment, and don't ask him about his porcelain collection. Two steps away is Donnie's where he shows them a sample explosion, and for $50 they can have their own. Jeff, unfortunately, lost his portion of the money, and Tripp gave all his to Bobby. Tripp asks if there can be an exchange of goods instead, and Donnie says he would trade for Ecstasy.
Judge Graft asks his Court Reporter if she can get a hold of Big Momma. He needs some...extra help...for the upcoming election, especially since he believes his opponent has been getting divine help from Gigi, the Jewish Diety, who is supporting the Native Americans. A quick text makes him an appointment, but to actually get the help, Judge Graft is going to owe Big Momma.
Later, at Big Momma's, there is a battle of the wills between Judge Graft and Big Momma herself. To get her price, she asks how many children the judge has, which turns out to be as many as 23 unacknowledged. She wants the first born in each month, which turns out to be just one (nine months earlier is Graft's busy time.) Graft promises to get him.
Meanwhile, at the 7-11, Rajiv has been robbed again and is reporting to Officer Maria. Princess Lakshmi enters and invites the officer to an upcoming lingerie and sex toy party--cheap because they're used! Officer Maria is having trouble getting good information from Rajiv, who has been repeatedly traumatized, so they watch the security footage. They see Rajiv wet himself and fork over the money. On his way out, the hoodie-wearing robber lights a cigarette with his "gun" as he leaves. After Officer Maria leaves and Rajiv goes to change his pants, Lakshmi watches the video again because the robber looks familiar--it is the white guy who has been pretending to be her father! She keeps it a secret and promises to catch the man herself.
- Will Tripp and Jeff be able to trade Ecstasy for explosives from a 12-year-old?
- Who is Judge Graft's unacknowledged first born, and what will Big Momma do with him?
- Will the Native Americans be able to stop the Lake Superior trench, or even survive with so many people set against them?
- Can Princess Lakshmi set up a sting operation and catch the Poppa impersonator robbing the 7-11 stores he says he owns?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
