Episode 120

Rajiv is visited by Magnus Aversson, the extraordinarily old, rich patriarch of Solomon's River who doesn't quite remember what he's been up to, except that he "came to in a forest".  Slowly, Magnus remembers that he has children and likes rhubarb pie.

Meanwhile, Angelica the sub-minion visits her secret place in the woods where she kept the only joy in her life, her "boy toy".  She had whacked him on the head and gave him pills so he didn't wake up, but he's gone!  Angelica follows his trail.  Unbeknownst to her, her rival minion has been spying on her and reports Angelica's secret to Mistress Evil.  Mistress Evil doesn't seem to remember Angelica, and the head minion thinks this may be his chance to take out his boss!  He attempts strangulation, then a blow to the head, but Mistress is nonplussed.  He leaves to continue minion work and spying.

Magnus Aversson is making the rounds and visits Solomon's River Hospital.  He reports having an erection that has lasted more than four hours and wonders if someone drugged him.  Dr. Scarlett says he can't help Magnus as he's not a "gynecologist for men".  Just then, Nurse returns, wearing only a poor shift from the Healing Woman in the woods after falling from the NurseNudistNeoNaziNarcanonaNado.  Nurse assures Magnus she can help.  Dr. Scarlett will assist.

In the land of the Merpeople, the Mer-King and his family gather to pay their respects to the formerly shunned Split-Tail, who had been killed by a human's submarine.  While it's difficult for the Merpeople to endure looking at Split-Tail's horrible disfigurement, as a fellow creature of the sea, they must honor him by singing the Mermaid song--it is beautiful!  Their song unexpectedly reanimates a zombie Split-Tail who vows revenge!  Merpeople try to shun him, but in the face of the undead monster fish, they must scatter.  Split-Tail strangles the nearest Mer-Princess.

Pussy Galore, the experienced hooker, is helping educate the former rich snob-turned-hooker Goldilocks.  Pussy strips Goldilocks down to her skivvies to make her more whore-like.  Goldilocks wants to "test" her rich fiancee, Rich, as he leaves work by letting Pussy Galore tempt him.  They go to his prestigious law firm in downtown Solomon's River.  Pussy strolls over and Rich easily falls for her whore charms!  Pussy sets up a meeting in one hour at The Blue Dolphin, the place with all the troublesome mermaids.  Pussy won't be the whore who shows up, however, it will be Goldilocks!

• Even though it was never very good, will Magnus' memory return?  Will he remember being kidnapped by Angelica the sub-minion?  Will Nurse and Dr. Scarlett be able to deal with his four-plus hour, old man hard-on?
• What will the head minion do if he catches Angelica?  Will he be able to take out Mistress Evil and become boss?
• What will happen now that zombie-ism has come to the Merpeople and Split-Tail is back from death and howling for revenge?
• What will become of Rich when he finds out his fiancee has tricked him into meeting a hooker at a cheap motel?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 113

After having mildly burned a secretary with mildly hot coffee, Sally and Tommy are relying on McShane to hide them from the long arm of the law. McShane leads them into a dark forest, where they become separated. While consoling one another, Tommy and Sally discover they are soft and feel good. They decide to stay in the forest a while and explore those feelings.

At the local Wal-Mart, Mr. Grumble the manager calls Solomon into his office to interview for a "clean-up crew" position. He is interrupted by Shaniqua who barges in to complain about someone pooping in aisle 12. Shaniqua leaves to return to her register, but before the interview can advance much further, she interrupts once again to alert the manager that Latisha is "busting up the store again!" Latisha is called into the office where she promptly gets into a fight with Solomon, thinking (mistakenly) that he is her ex-boyfriend. Mr. Grumble hires Solomon on the spot and sends him to grab a mop and clean up the bulk aisle. A customer enters to complain about the poo she stepped in; Mr. Grumble tells her she can go to aisle 28 where she can pick out any new pair of shoes for free, which sets off a heated argument between the cashiers and the manager. To solve the problem, Latisha tapes Mr. Grumble to the chair and hatches a plan to take over the store. Shaniqua is wary; she just got out after serving a dime in the Big House, but she stays by Latisha's side as she takes over the store.

Outside of town, McShane wanders through the woods looking for Sally and Tommy. There he runs across a pedophile who offers to help, but nothing much becomes of it.

Meanwhile, in an underground lair, Angelica finds new employment with a new mistress, Mistress Evil! Angelica offers to warn Solomon's River about the new evil arising, but Mistress tells her to keep it a secret...for now. One of Mistress Evil's  Russian assistants injects a tracking chip into Angelica's arm, as well as an immunization booster. As her first mission, Angelica is ordered to go to Wal-Mart and put Shaniqua (who always mooshed Angelica's Charmin) to sleep for 100 years! Angelica leaves to do some research. 

• Will Sally and Tommy discover a love that shall remain nameless?
• Will Latisha and Shaniqua succeed in taking over the store?
• Does McShane know what a pedophile is?
• Will Angelica succeed in finding a viable way of putting a person to sleep for 100 years?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!