Episode 163

Uber Minion secretly meets with Angelica (as his Sub-Minion) to get the scoop on Big Momma's next move, and Angelica reveals she has a plumber to pipe Lake Superior into Solomon's River, since the contractors and white supremacists didn't work out.  Uber Minion's plan: to get Lake Superior first!  Step one: kill the plumber.  He gives Angelica a shotgun.  Sparky, the Uber Minion's inbred Hound of Hell, irritates Angelica until she leaves.  Spraky, who is actually robotic, is also a little glitchy, or, perhaps, has a low battery.

Meanwhile, in India, Princess Lakshmi has searched the entire airport for Rajiv who had been hidden in a locker by his evil twin, Rojav.  She finally hears his muffled calling from a locker whose key, apparently, is locked inside.  Determining he needs to be cut free, she cleverly calls in a bomb threat from a pay phone, indicating that a suspicious white person had been seen hear the lockers.  The New Delhi airport police bring in their bomb-sniffing dingo, crack open the locker, release Rajiv who really needs to pee, and search him for a bomb.  Rajiv runs to the restroom and the airport police don't bother searching any further.

Rajiv and Lakshmi are finally reunited!  She tests him to be sure it is really him, and it is!  She reveals that he had been conked on the head by Rojav, interfering in their lives once again.

McShane is at his party, thrown by Tommy and Sally.  He is a good sport about the party, but is slightly taken aback when Tommy and Sally ask him to be the father of their child.  Sally holds McShane's hand, and believes that's all it takes.  Tommy and Sally await their new baby.

• Will Angelica be able to kill Smitty the plumber?
• Will Uber Minion steal Lake Superior out from under Big Momma's nose?
• What's up with the robot dog, and all the additional howling?
• What does Rojav want, and can Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi get over him being in their lives again?
• What will Tommy and Sally do once they realize she's not pregnant...unless she is?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 154

Rajiv is burned out from being robbed over and over at the 7-11.  Princess Lakshmi gives him a bullet-proof vest and adult diapers so he can keep working...and she can enact her plan to catch the white guy posing as her father.

A nurse checks on drooling Steve, a younger long-term patient in a nursing home facility.  She ponders on how he might be if only he weren't on so much medication in his IV-drip.  As there is no discernible reason for the incapacitating meds, she experiments, and turns it down.

Doctor Scarlett gathers his nurses in the new clinic.  Now the only thing they need is patients.  He encourages them to rustle up some business.  The nurses troll the sidewalks, harassing passerby, until one is maced.  Another nurse pounces on the opportunity and takes the maced nurse as a patient.  Despite actually needing care, the nurses are chastised for being idiotic.

McShane continues his endless search for Tommy and Sally, which ends when Tommy and Sally show up.  They explain they now have an apartment for the mentally challenged, which requires sterilization.  Tommy and Sally invite McShane to a party in his honor for finding them and they say it will be the biggest street party in Solomon's River, ever!  They get money from him to help rent a bounce house.

• Can Rajiv keep working at the 7-11, and will his vest and diaper be enough to help?
• Will Princess Lakshmi manage to expose the Imposter Poppa?
• Who is this mysterious Steve, and why was he on so much medication?
• How come nobody needs emergency help in Solomon's River?
• "Ain't no party like a Tommy and Sally party!"  What does that mean??

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 149

Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi are upset at the altered state of his coffeehouse.  Tripp, the guy who took over the shop while they were in Greece and turned it into a zombie-themed bar, finds them, ties them up, and tries to get them to behave like zombies.  Tripp and his assistant are forced to leave by the arrival of a real zombie, whom Rajiv hires as a cleaning person to help restore his shop.  Rajiv and the Princess enjoy being tied up for a while.

Meanwhile, Angelica updates Big Momma on the progress of Lake Superior towards Solomon's River.  The Crew Foreman arrives to complain that "Injuns" are in the way.  Big Momma recommends getting TNT and blowing them up.  Crew Foreman and Big Momma have a clash of personalities and, unbeknownst to him, the Foreman is lucky to leave un-cursed.

McShane wanders the woods, still trying to find Tommy and Sally, who he simultaneously wishes would hold still AND go away forever.  In a slightly different part of the woods, Tommy and Sally manage to find each other and remember they wanted to kill Dr. Scarlett for killing their baby (unbeknownst to them, there never was a baby since they have misunderstood how sex works.)  They go to find a killing stick.

The Court Reporter previews the next case to Judge Graft: a divorce between the French Matron Tilapia and her new, young beau Trevor, married for only 3 months.  Trevor wants her money but there is an air-tight prenup.  Matron Tilapia recognizes Trevor as an idiot, and Trevor needs to leave to do his AP Calculus homework (he is in 12th grade plus 3).  Judge Graft grants the divorce and moves to arrest the Matron Tilapia for possible pedophilia, when in walks the former Mr. Tilapia, who they all thought was dead!  The court sucks wind in surprise.  It turns out Mr. Tilapia is also an idiot.  Judge Graft throws them all in jail.

• Will Tripp just meekly let somebody take over the bar that he took over?
• Is coexistence with zombies possible?
• What happens when an indigenous people is blown up?
• Will the Crew Foreman escape the wrath of Big Momma if he fails?
• Can McShane ever find Tommy and Sally, and does he really want to?
• Is Dr. Scarlett's life truly in danger?
• What will Judge Graft do to the Tilapias and Trevor?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 145

Rajiv is frustrated after Magnus Adversson's unwillingness to produce the antidote to Rajiv's extreme anti-aging spit, and tries to get Princess Lakshmi on board with searching Magnus' Grecian mansion, but the princess' regression has reached a critical level and her infancy regresses...into an embryo!  Rajiv picks her up in a tissue and goes to find a jar.

McShane is loving his new job as a school custodian.  As he bends to scrape gum off the floor, disembodied voices call to him, "McShane!  We're lost and scared!  We might die because of you!"  Guilt forces him to ask for a vacation so he can search for Tommy and Sally in the woods.

Tripp and a friend break into Rajiv's Coffee House to steal the copper pipes.  Groaning floats up to them from the basement trap door and gives Tripp a brainstorm: open a zombie-themed bar!  He figures they'll work for brains.

Angelica debriefs Big Momma on the progression of Lake Superior to Solomon's River which is being blocked by Native American protesters.  Angelica believes she can get the White Folk to fight the Native Americans simply because of racial bias...as long as they don't find out Big Momma herself is a lovely shade of burnished copper.  Angelica further suggests a curse on the natives.  Big Momma says to cause fire in the tee-pees and trailer homes, blow up the mansions and gas stations, and cause the crops to fail.  Angelica leaves to get the components to cast the curse.

Exploring the woods for Tommy and Sally is just as frustrating as it ever was for McShane and voices echo ominously.

Kevin and Zeb hide in his closet to his from the recently summoned Jewish deity Gigi.  They think controlling her might be easier than killing her outright; however, the time isn't right for Kevin's motion-magic and they'll have to keep Gigi in the basement until the moon is full and hope she doesn't cause too much trouble in those seventeen days.

• Will Rajiv be able to save the embryonic Princess Lakshmi?
• Are zombies still cool enough to make Tripp's bar successful?
• What will the Native Americans do if Big Momma's curse works?
• What will the Angry White Folk do if they find out Big Momma herself isn't white?
• Will McShane save Tommy and Sally to assuage his guilt, or will he die trying?
• Can new magician Kevin control a deity?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 134

Cletus and Bartholemew, finally home, are arguing about who gets to eat lasagna and who Mom likes best (it's Bartholemew). Bartholemew tries to make Cletus believe that Mom is home (which she isn't), but in the meantime Cletus eats the last two pieces of lasagna. In retaliation, Bartholemew sends his brother out alone into the woods to find Sally.

Meanwhile, in another part of the woods, McShane is also wandering about looking for Sally.

Meanwhile meanwhile, in another other part of the woods, Sally and Tommy manage to find each other. Sally, who was tied up by a wolfman, is untied by Tommy as she fills him in on her latest adventures. To prevent getting separated again, they tie themselves together, but cannot decide which direction to go. Sally worries that this is how she got pregnant in the first place, and we are reminded that she believes Dr. Scarlet killed her baby and they, in turn, were going to kill the doctor in retribution. Before they leave the woods, Sally presses her very cold fingers against him, and they go off to get him checked for a baby, just in case.

Jerry Koff, now running for Mayor, is recruiting for his campaign. He plans to target the zombie community, enticing them with the slogan, "#BRAINS!!!"

McShane tries to wander off in the same direction Tommy and Sally went.

The Nurses' Association has called a meeting with the CDC to address the outbreaks of multiple dangerous, deadly, and highly contagious diseases in Solomon's River.  Expert Dr. Phlogiston and her colleague, also called Nurse and both freshly back from the Congo, meet with Nurse who recaps for them the Nurse-nudist-neo-Nazi-NARCanon-a-nado which spread a skin disease, as well as the zombie infestation and, possibly, the Zika virus.  Dr. Phlogiston and her personal Nurse are a bit horrified at both the magnitude of disease as well as the number of old, ugly nudists they might have to see.  Nurse sets up an appointment with them to meet with Dr. Scarlett.  Dr. Scarlett, however, has a history with Dr. Phlogiston.

Just in case Dr. Phlogiston and her Nurse don't make it to the Jam for Episode 136, they have their meeting right away at the local Starbucks.  It has been 20 years, but their unfinished business rears its ugly head.  Dr. Scarlett eyes Dr. Phlogiston's Nurse and we learn their history may have been professional, or it may have involved jealousy over a woman.  The drinks fly hot and fast into faces and the barista calls the police to report a rumble.  Detective Smegly enters to break it up.  The doctors think maybe they were in error and they don't actually know each other.  They order new drinks.  Satisfied the fighting is done, the detective leaves.  Dr. Phlogiston manages to insult Dr. Scarlett, who then orders a venti to fling and the fighting renews!

• Will either Bartholomew or McShane manage to find Tommy and Sally?
• Will Tommy and Sally find their way to Dr. Scarlett, and if so, will they really kill him?
• Who is running against Jere Koff, and do they have a chance now that he's going after the zombie vote? #brains
• What is the history between Dr. Phlogiston and Dr. Scarlett?  Can they work together to help Solomon's River?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 126

Rajiv managed not only to avoid the shuffling zombies chasing him in the caverns, but he also found Lakshmi.  Before they work together to escape, she makes Rajiv declare her a free woman, and he makes Lakshmi proclaim her love for him.  They pinkie swear on it.  He promises to have his wife declared dead.

Frieda and Greta invite others to their witch lynch party and they decide to combine it with the upcoming holidays and make it a Christmas lynching.  John is in charge of the food, twins Timmy and Tommy choose the Christmas/lynching carol list, and someone else is in charge of the garland, which will be used to string up the witches.  Frieda and Greta tell everyone to meet back with their goodies, and then they'll lynch the Queen of the Witches.

Sally is with McShane and she is worried for the freshly lost-in-the-forest Tommy.  McShane suggests they search together, which Sally remembers is what got them all lost in the first place.  She brilliantly suggests a rope, so they don't get separated.  Not-brilliantly, she gives the entire rope to McShane.  After they leave for the forest, Tommy arrives to find they are gone.

Angelica sneaks into Uber Minion's room to gather the ingredients which Big Momma, aka Queen of the Witches, needs to cast a spell on the plotting Uber.  Angelica manages toenail clippings and a spare toupee before Uber returns and discovers her.  She takes the opportunity to cut off one of his ears and take an eye.  He promises to kill her someday.  She has forgotten to get an eyelash.

John comes home to rope his mother into making cookies for their Christmas lynching party.  His alcoholic father lurks in the background, and John has trouble reading the recipe.

Meanwhile, at Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett asks Nurse where all the other nurses are and she explains the NurseNudist-etc-Nado.  Nurse leaves with the nurse roster to find them.  After she leaves, McShane confronts Dr. Scarlett and announces his intention to kill him to avenge Tommy and Sally's baby.  Dr. Scarlett explains that Sally was never pregnant because there is a need for intercourse before there can be a baby.

With McShane at the hospital, Sally is all alone in the middle of the forest.  Two rubes, Bartholomew and Cletus, offer to help the crying woman and invite her back to their shack in the woods.  She goes...

• Will Rajiv and Lakshmi keep their promises to love and honor?  What will Mrs. Rajiv do when she discovers she has been declared dead?
• Will Big Momma's spell work without an eyelash?  What will Uber Minion do without depth perception or a spare toupee?
• Can Big Momma cast her spell and keep the witches safe against the impending lynch mob?
• Can John's Christmas lynching cookies possibly come out okay?
• Will Nurse find the other tossed-about nurses?
• Is McShane satisfied with Dr. Scarlett's explanation of how babies are made?
• What will become of Sally?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 125

Angelica grovels at Big Momma's feet, promising she's the best minion ever. The minions have been getting the place ready for the party when Uber Minion comes in and starts brown-nosing Big Momma. Uber Minion touches Momma, who warns him never to touch her again, but he threatens that he could "snap her like a twig"! Angelica back-hands Uber Minion, causing a mild nose bleed. Big Momma wants to know why, since he is a minion, he is not grovelling. He answers that perhaps he does not want to be a minion any more; perhaps he wants to be Big Momma! He muses that he could get a sex transplant, which apparently involves having a penis on his forehead. Uber Minion pulls out a big knife, which Angelica knocks from his hand. Big Momma then reveals that she is also Queen of the Witches! Angelica offers to help Big Momma cast a spell by collecting the necessary ingredients. The needs one of his toenails, and eyelash, one of his ears, one of his eyes, and his toupee. 

Meanwhile, at the Solomon's River Police Department,  Detective Smegley comes in and greets Greta, his new secretary, who actually turns out to be Greta's grandmother; Smegley has mistaken one for the other because they look so much alike. Lieutenant Bustybottoms comes in and finds Smegley in an uncooperative mood. Smegley believes that since he got his promotion, he no longer needs to listen to Bustybottoms. The Lieutenant lets it slide and sends him off for coffee. Bustybottoms is perturbed there's an old person in the station, but overlooks it for Greta's sake. A woman, Freida,  enters to report that her next door neighbor is Queen of the Witches, complete with minions! Bustybottoms ignores her pleas for help until he can get his coffee. Greta offers to take care of the witch problem, even though she's been afraid of them since Sunday school. They leave to gather a lynch mob.

Tony admonishes Soup Bone for killing Timmy in broad daylight. They start to plan their escape in Tony's Porsche (complete with Priscilla once again tied up in the trunk) when Timmy returns to life as a zombie! 

Now that McShane has finally gotten rid of Tommy and Sally, he believes he can get some work done. Unfortunately, he is haunted by their voices, accusing him of leaving them in the woods to die. McShane finally gives in an screams that he will go back to the forest to find them, but doesn't have to, because they right behind him. There is a joyful reunion complete with some awkward moments. Sally tells McShane that the doctor killed her baby; McShane offers to go find the doctor and kill him. Sally is a little concerned that that's what he's jumping to, but lets him go anyway. Tommy leaves to go to the forest.

• Will Uber Minion become the new Big Momma?
• Will Angelica manage to collect all the necessary ingredients for thespell?
• Will Greta and Freida be able to raise a lynch party?
• What will Timmy do, now that he's a zombie?
• Will McShane kill Doctor Scarlett over a non-existent baby?

 Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
 

Episode 124

Mousy Librarian finds Jervis, who is amazed not only to find her alive, but pregnant! Especially given the fact that neither of them remembers any "horizontal action". Mousy reminds him about being cryogenically frozen after their adventures in the Caverns and her brief time being controlled by a chip placed in her head by H.A.L., the evil computer-twin of Dr. Scarlet. Suddenly, Mousy hears H.A.L.'s voice telling her to tell Jervis he has to marry her. When Jervis fails to respond, H.A.L. tells her to take out the gun. They struggle for the gun, and once Jervis is incapacitated by a sudden groin injury, H.A.L. instructs her to implant a chip in his backside, which much to Jervis' surprise, she does.

Meanwhile, McShane and Tommy, still wandering in the forest, almost find each other. Tommy hears Sally, and promptly wanders off after her. Nobody finds anyone.

At Solomon's River Police Department, Det. Smegly is taking calls as Lt. Bustybottoms come out and tells him to order a pizza and say how awesome his butt is. Bustybottoms offers Smegly a promotion, as long as he can go arrest someone within the next 30 seconds. Smegly returns with a serial killer and gives him his promotion.

Meanwhile, at the Adversson mansion, the British secret agents have returned from their China trip. Magnus enters, and one tries to get him to tell about the microchip plant by not-so-cleverly by dropping the words "China" and "microchip secret facility" into conversation. When he is unsuccessful, the second agent tries her hand, discovering that China was ruse to steer them away from Scotland, Uzbekistan, Magnus' granddaughters, and some secret vision. They think he knows more, but it has been wiped from his mind. They settle on asking him about the factory. He admits to building it to create an A.I. for the purposes of, as Magnus puts it, "something rhyming with 'furled cromination.'" Despite the fact that the factory had been closed down years ago, the agents report seeing a recent spike in microchip orders.

Tony's pals, Soup Bone, Ginger Butt, Super B and others get together to plan to break Tony out of jail. The discussion soon turns divisive, with rival factions vying for control of the Solomon's River drug trade. They wonder if they should leave Tony in jail instead, metaphysically dead. Ginger Butt fills them in on the details of a PBS special on the risks of pot smoking, and Soup Bone's mom comes to call him home for dinner. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to the gang, Tony is already out of jail and has been alerted to their treachery by his friend Timmy. Tony comes to confront them, and a lot of yelling ensues. Soup Bone's mom returns to chastise the group for not giving him enough time to play with them. They apologize, Soup Bone returns, there's more yelling and Soup Bone ends up killing Timmy.

• Will Jervis and Mousy figure out where the baby came from?
• What will happen now that Jervis has a microchip up his butt?
• Will Lt. Bustybottoms get his pizza?
• Why are microchips being ordered from a factory that's been closed for years?
• What will happen now that Tony is no longer metaphorically dead?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 119

Rajiv is frustrated by Sally's lack of woodworking skills and drives Sally away from the Witness Program Detective Smegly provided.

Big Momma, evil Cult Leader, is positioning herself to take over Solomon's River.  Minion Angelica, former minion of Carla Calvera (thought to have been buried alive in a mine explosion), grovels at Big Momma's feet.  Big Momma's upper level minion arrives with voodoo dolls, created in the likenesses of the City Council members, and reminds Angelica of her place.  They find that one councilman poses a problem.  The others have hair to add to their dolls, but one, Councilman Rivers, suffers from trichotillomania (the psychological disorder that makes you pull out all your hair) and is bald.  The upper minion leaves to see what he can do.

Meanwhile, in a Tim Hortons, a lowly worker announces to his boss that fellow worker Mikie, after many doughnuts and four iced capps, barfed in the men's room again.  Manager John warns their Republican owner will not be happy.  It is revealed that the Republican owner, who won't pay for healthcare, has given forced ultrasounds on everyone, even the men.  The lowly worker suggests they lock Mikie in overnight to teach him a lesson, but Mr. John has a better idea: they will instead steal as much as they can and leave town.  First, however, they must disable the camera system and remove all traces of their plotting. There is a shimmering in the air and the sound of static.  H.A.L., the once-thwarted evil hologram of Dr. Scarlett has reappeared!  H.A.L. offers to help with the camera system and they give him the password, 2-4-5-niner.  Manager John and the lowly worker take money, doughnuts, and the owner's Corvette, skipping away from their lives, leaving the security and computer system in the hands of H.A.L....

McShane wanders the woods, calling for the lost Tommy and Sally.  He hears Tommy's voice calling his name, but it gets fainter and fainter.

Tommy wanders the woods, calling for the lost McShane and Sally.  He hears Sally's voice calling his name, and it gets louder and louder.  Emerging from the trees, they finally find each other and embrace.  Thinking that the hug may once again have impregnated her, she tells Tommy that Dr. Scarlett killed their previous baby.  Tommy vows to kill the doctor with a rock.  They each go to look for a big enough weapon... in opposite directions.

Back in Solomon's River, a rich woman finds herself in a "whore lair", after being ditched by her rich friend Muffy when confronted on Hooker's Corner.  Two hookers, Scarlett and Pussy Galore, hold the rich woman captive.  A voice, gravelly from years on the street, gives the rich woman her whore name: "Goldilocks."  The Head Whore has named her, and Goldilocks now wants hooker training in an attempt to secure her fiancee, Rich, who already is cheating on her.  She stays to learn "The Tricks of the Trade".

• Will Detective Smegly be mad at Rajiv for not providing a more secure Witness Program?
• How will the head minion secure hair from a bald man?
• What will happen if Big Momma takes control of the City Council?
• Will Mr. John and his minimum-wage worker get away with their theft from Tim Hortons?
• What will happen now that H.A.L. is worming his way back into electronics?
• Will McShane find Tommy and Sally?  Will Tommy and Sally lose each other?
• Will the hookers in Whore Lair help Goldilocks secure Rich, the rich fiancee?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 118

The hillbilly who found Nurse, whose clothes were ripped off in the NurseNudistNeonaziNarcanoNado, helps her cover up with some mud.  Nurse wants to get back to Dr. Scarlett at Solomon's River General Hospital, but the best the hillbilly can do is "The Healer Man" who turns out to be "The Healer Woman".  The Healer Woman gets Nurse into clothes and tries to find a map to get her back into town.

A janitor, sweeping up, laments the mess that the NurseNudistNeonaziNarcanoNado has left behind.

Tommy, alone in the woods, calls out, "Sally!"  Faintly, he hears her voice, "Tommy!"  Not quite as faintly, he hears McShane's voice, "Tommy!"  He begins to believe the woods may be haunted.

Dr. Scarlett's replacement nurse, Nurse Jim, is a poor replacement for Nurse.  The female patients, however, enjoy his sponge baths.

Detective Smegly enlists the help of Rajiv at his coffee shop, which is under renovation.  Detective Smegly needs Rajiv to help him put a person into the Witness Program, sans "Protection".  He promises she will be able to help Rajiv remodel, and put up cove molding.  Rajiv agrees and is presented with Sally.  Sally is willing to do anything that gets her closer to finding Tommy.

Meanwhile, on Hooker's Corner, arguing hookers are interrupted by two lost townies, Muffy and her rich friend.  Muffy saves herself by giving the whores her rich friend and running away.

• Who is this backwoods Healer Woman?  Can she help Nurse find Solomon's River again?
• Will Tommy find his way out of the woods?  Are those woods really haunted?
• How will Nurse Jim cope with all the old, naked, disease-riddled bodies he must wash?
• How will Sally do cutting molding?
• What will become of Muffy's rich friend, now in the hands of Solomon's River's hookers?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 117

The sky-gazing hillbilly and The Discovery Channel's Glen Aldridge are near enough to the NurseNudistNeonaziNarcanoNado to be hit by nurse-sized hail, which was actually Dr. Scarlett's Nurse, fallen from the 'nado, the clothes ripped from her body.  The hillbilly offers to help the naked woman.

Tommy, wandering the woods looking forlornly for Sally, instead runs into McShane, who had been missing longer.  McShane offers to help the simple man.

Meanwhile, in Solomon's River proper, Sally wants to go back into the forest to look for Tommy, but Detective Smegly prevents her, saying it's too dangerous.  He takes her to the police station to wait safely.  When they get to the station, a beat officer is there already, accompanied by a hooker, who swears she is an "exotic dancer".  Smegly has the officer fingerprint her, but the harried detective still has Sally, who remains terribly upset.  To placate Sally, Detective Smegly promises to leave immediately to find Tommy.  After he is gone, Sally discovers a loaded service revolver, which she keeps "in case [she] needs it."

Dr. Scarlett orders an orderly to find a patient who left without paying: Sally.  The doctor warns that Sally may be distraught because she thinks he killed her baby, which he didn't, he swears.

McShane is having a difficult time with the very upset Tommy.  In the middle of McShane's attempt at a sensible conversation, Tommy has the realization that he loves Sally and he wants to have her baby.  McShane can say nothing that doesn't upset Tommy further, and Tommy flees.

• Are bodies falling from the NurseNudistNeonaziNarcanoNado because it's finally slowing down?  Will the end of the 'Nado be the end of the Discovery Channel's new reality show?
• Can Detective Smegly help Sally, who now has a revolver, and can McShane help Tommy, who is running randomly through the woods?  Will the orderly find Sally first?
• What is the cause of the disproportionately large prostitution problem in Solomon's River?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 116

The Discovery Channel has sent Glen Aldridge and a small crew to Solomon's River to investigate reports of unusual weather phenomenon (do dooo, do do-do.)  A backwoodsman excitedly recounts his sighting of the nursenado and how it swept through the Solomon's River Nudist Camp, perhaps making "involuntary nudists" of the nurses already inside.  Glen mentions that The National Guard has been deployed to stop the nursenudistnado and slyly implants the suggestion that perhaps the nursenudistnado.  The Discovery Channel's producer is excited because this is the first step to inspire a new reality TV show.  She leaves a card in case the hillbilly sees something else.

Dr. Scarlett is wandering alone through the forest when he encounters Sally who became separated from Tommy during the storm.  Sally is very upset and alternately calls out "Stranger danger!" and "Tommy!"  She confesses to Dr. Scarlett that she is pregnant, and, with great difficulty, he gets her to leave with him for an examination.  After they leave, Tommy wanders by, calling forlornly, "Sally?  The baby..."

Detective Smegly notices all the evidence of a natural disaster and stumbles upon a nudist, recently dropped from the nursenudistnado.  Hearing their conversation, a woman of distinction enters and gives her report, too.  The following exchange was made:
Detective: Where did the nursenudistnado go?
Nudist: North.
Woman: North?
Nudist: For now.
Woman: Why, that's where the Neo-Nazis meet!
Nudist: No!
Woman: Yes, in the old, abandoned nuclear power plant.
Nudist: That's nasty.
Woman: I heard they're having a Narcanon meeting there now.
Detective: I must go nab this nursenudistnado!

To the north, a wooshing sound is heard over the "Heils" of the Neo-Nazis and Helmut's confession to the group that he is a junkie.  The wooshing gets louder and louder and the entirety of the Neo-Nazis get sucked up into the nursenudistnado.  "Ach, du Lieber!"

Dr. Scarlett does a sonogram on Sally and tells her she's not pregnant.  Sally thinks that perhaps Dr. Scarlett has killed her baby.

• Will Sally and Tommy ever reunite?
• When they do, how will Tommy take it when he finds out Dr. Scarlett examined Sally and didn't find a baby?  What about Sally's suspicion that Dr. Scarlett killed the baby?
• How will Sally ever pay the hospital bill?
• What will the meddling of The Discovery Channel do to Solomon's River in their quest for a backwoods alien conspiracy reality television show?
• How long can a nursenudistneonazinarcanonado stay in the air?  Where will it go next...

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 115

Swept up in the dreaded Nursenado, Dr. Scarlett and Nurse are finally deposited in an unfamiliar place just outside the city limits of Solomon's River. It turns out to be a nudist camp in the forest. Nurse notices something strange about them, other than the fact they are naked. They seem to covered in rashes, bruises and the general funk of an unknown strain of venereal disease. Dr. Scarlett is concerned this might be the start of a new epidemic! Nurse is dragged away to join in the celebrations while the doctor slips not-so-quietly away.

Meanwhile, at the Solomon's River police station, Detective Smegly has lost the paperwork about the woman he is searching for - Nurse! He is about to enlist the help of an underling officer to clean up the paperwork when Jimmy, the True Grit newsboy rushes in to tell them he just saw a Nursenado flying over the city! Det. Smegly leaves to find the Nursenado, thinking that will be the best place to find Nurse.

Some local hicks gawk as the Nursenado passes by and heads toward the forest. Someone with binoculars watches as "a bunch of disgusting, knobbly, naked people" are being sucked up by the Nursenado! They all grab their four-wheelers and follow them.

McShane, still wandering through the forest, is pulled up by the Nursenado just as Tommy and Sally arrive. Concerned for the welfare of Sally's fetus, and after Tommy has no success in communicating with it, they listen for any sound from McShane. Hearing none, they leave.

• Will there by a disgusting VD outbreak just in time for VD?
• Will we ever find out why Det. Smegly is looking for Nurse?
• What will happen now that the Nursenado is a Nursenudistnado?
• Is Sally's unborn baby really deaf?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 114

Tommy and Sally are alone in the woods, having lost McShane, and are scared because they think they just had sex.  Though they didn't remove their pants, they believe they must now get married.  A hunter with a potato gun stumbles upon the couple and brings them to Miss Kane, a nice social worker.  Tommy and Sally report that McShane is missing and, they presume, dead.  The hunter puts together a search party to look for one "McShane", last seen wearing "clothes."

Meanwhile, Betty, a server in a small diner, is on the brink of being fired.  Her day gets worse when she can't seem to get a couple's order right.  When Betty goes to the kitchen for a side of mayo, one of the other servers warns her that the man, Psycho Jake, has terrible temper.  The woman with him, Spitty Suzy, has Tourette's.  When the server returns with the side of mayo, the couple's symptoms become clear.  Betty hustles them out to the patio before the crabby diner owner notices.

Dr. Scarlett asks Nurse to check outside to see if the other nurses were still picketing.  "No more health care!" chant the nurses.  "Let's close the hospital!"  "Too much money!"  Nurse reports back to Dr. Scarlett that the picketing nurses are even more crazed than they were when the picketing began.  Their picket circle was getting faster and tighter, whipping up garbage, syringes, and little white hats into a swirl and making a... NURSE-NADO!  Their hot wind could cause destruction across all of Solomon's River!  The chant, "Medical marijuana could solve all our problems" finally sucks up Dr. Scarlett and Nurse themselves!

• Will the search party find McShane, clothed or otherwise?
• Will Sally and Tommy actually get married?
• Is it possible to get pregnant when you don't remove your pants?
• Why are Psycho Jake and Spitty Suzy in town, anyway?
• What will happen in the wake of a NURSE-NADO?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 113

After having mildly burned a secretary with mildly hot coffee, Sally and Tommy are relying on McShane to hide them from the long arm of the law. McShane leads them into a dark forest, where they become separated. While consoling one another, Tommy and Sally discover they are soft and feel good. They decide to stay in the forest a while and explore those feelings.

At the local Wal-Mart, Mr. Grumble the manager calls Solomon into his office to interview for a "clean-up crew" position. He is interrupted by Shaniqua who barges in to complain about someone pooping in aisle 12. Shaniqua leaves to return to her register, but before the interview can advance much further, she interrupts once again to alert the manager that Latisha is "busting up the store again!" Latisha is called into the office where she promptly gets into a fight with Solomon, thinking (mistakenly) that he is her ex-boyfriend. Mr. Grumble hires Solomon on the spot and sends him to grab a mop and clean up the bulk aisle. A customer enters to complain about the poo she stepped in; Mr. Grumble tells her she can go to aisle 28 where she can pick out any new pair of shoes for free, which sets off a heated argument between the cashiers and the manager. To solve the problem, Latisha tapes Mr. Grumble to the chair and hatches a plan to take over the store. Shaniqua is wary; she just got out after serving a dime in the Big House, but she stays by Latisha's side as she takes over the store.

Outside of town, McShane wanders through the woods looking for Sally and Tommy. There he runs across a pedophile who offers to help, but nothing much becomes of it.

Meanwhile, in an underground lair, Angelica finds new employment with a new mistress, Mistress Evil! Angelica offers to warn Solomon's River about the new evil arising, but Mistress tells her to keep it a secret...for now. One of Mistress Evil's  Russian assistants injects a tracking chip into Angelica's arm, as well as an immunization booster. As her first mission, Angelica is ordered to go to Wal-Mart and put Shaniqua (who always mooshed Angelica's Charmin) to sleep for 100 years! Angelica leaves to do some research. 

• Will Sally and Tommy discover a love that shall remain nameless?
• Will Latisha and Shaniqua succeed in taking over the store?
• Does McShane know what a pedophile is?
• Will Angelica succeed in finding a viable way of putting a person to sleep for 100 years?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 112

After the infamously three-way scuffle at the Adverson Mansion, Princess Lakshmi returns to speak privately with Rajiv. After being assured that Mrs. Rajiv is nowhere to be seen (she is off talking with Dr. Scarlett,) Lakshmi both tries to warn Rajiv about how abusive she is and berates him for allowing his wife back into his life after all this time. The princess gives Rajiv an ultimatum: if he loves his wife, he must say with her; if he loves Lakshmi, he must stay with her. She leaves for the Motel 5 to await his answer. Rajiv, perhaps unwisely, promises he will not forget to let her know his choice.

Meanwhile, at the local Super Walmart, Shaniqua and Latisha, two very dissatisfied cashiers, plot to revolt and “take this Walmart down!” They begin by looking to find some places to sabotage (“bust up”), starting with Bulk Items.

McShane, apparently at his new job, is readying for a last-minute meeting in the conference room. Unbeknownst to him, the meeting was arranged by his old friends Sally and Tommy! They arrive, so happy to see McShane, yet sad that he left them behind while he embarked on his new life path. They thought he had died in the hospital! After a quick soft-spot-pressing demonstration, Sally and Tommy offer to help McShane with his business. Coffee arrives, secretaries get burned, Sally and Tommy must leave town with McShanes help.

Meanwhile, in aisle 38 of Walmart, a mother tries to buy a big box of tampons while pulling her child along with a leash and choke chain. Shaniqua, who is busy “bustin' up this place” confronts this horrible mother and frees the child, allowing her to run wild and poop in aisle 14!

• Will Rajiv choose Lakshmi, or his wife?
• Will he remember to tell Lakshmi what he has decided?
• Will Shaniqua and Latisha take down Walmart?
• Can McShane get Sally and Tommy safely out of Solomon's River? Should he?
• Who will clean up the Code 2 in Aisle 14?

Find out the answer to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!