Episode 175

Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi explore the caverns under the McVishnu's on top of her family's mountain shrine.  They walk down an increasingly claustrophobic tunnel and have a hallucinogenic vision of a GrubHub delivery guy from the Vegetarian Meat Restaurant.  The hallucination gives them a receipt, which is actually a clue from Quacky: go into the open cavern, but be careful because you will fall forever.  P.S. The rocks are hallucinogenic.  They burst through into an open cavern and remember the rope.  They tie off one end to a convenient old metal hook.  An ornery voice drifts up from below, apparently speaking Princess Lakshmi's family's "Rub-a-dubish" (learned from the TV show Zoomish).  Rajiv climbs down...

Silent but Deadly presses some buttons, self-ordering at a 7-11.  He is met by Nurse, who checks the progress of finding her sister and killing the mayor.  Silent but Deadly indicates she should give it time and shows off his bag of weaponry.  A zombie cleans up.

Uber Minion brags to Big Momma that he is now showing initiative and being a self-starter by getting rid of Angelica, who plotted to kill Big Momma and take over.  Big Momma is suspicious that Uber Minion may not be telling the truth and asks for a dossier.  Uber Minion agrees to create one, but he isn't happy.

Dr. Scarlett struggles with treating women as equals.  A talking rabbit wonders why he is in the hospital.  Dr. Scarlett and Nurse freak a little over the discovery of a viral-immune talking rabbit.  Nurse stuffs it into a cage so they may regenerate anti-viral medication.  As they revel in their good fortune, a man afflicted with their virus enters, his *ahem* having fallen off.  They force him to say "dick".  Nurse takes the member, but the patient isn't even sure it is his, as so many in Ye Olde Farts Bar fell off at once.  Nurse abstractly gesticulates with his dick, waving it too near the rabbit's cage.  The rabbit, of course, nibbles it.

• What will Rajiv find at the end of the rope?
• Did they really hear a voice, or was it still a hallucination?
• Has Silent but Deadly made any progress, or has he used their money on Slushies?
• Will Uber Minion find being Big Momma's Minion not all it's cracked up to be?  Where is Angelica?
• Will a dick-nibbling, anti-viral producing, talking rabbit save Solomon's River from the hospital-created virus?  Will all the penis reattachment surgeries be enough to save the hospital financially?
• How do you polish rabbit nibbles out of a dick?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 169

Tripp announces to his mother, Angelica, that his zombie-themed restaurant hasn't been working since the zombie staff all unionized.  Angelica says to just unchain them and let them go, but Tripp has the idea to try an herbal remedy--he will give them some of his "good stuff".  The zombie easily uses the bong, with the first hit mellowing him out and allowing him to talk!  Tripp says he has a plan.

Meanwhile, Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi's use the key and jewel to open her father's trunk which hums, clicks, and pops out her father's genie, "Uncle Genie"!  The genie is unsure of Rajiv, but has instructions to tell Lakshmi where her father is.  Unfortunately, the genie doesn't know because he was distracted by garlic, had a magic genie bag over his head, and was hit with a magic genie wrench, all of which were gotten from the Evil Genie.  Good news: he can give them a scroll with her father's location.  Bad news: Quacky wrote it.  Princess Lakshmi takes a bag of duck treats and the gem, and gives Rajiv the key so Uncle Genie must be nice to him.  They leave to find Quacky.

Poison candy has already gotten into the market, and a family's children have died.  They buy into a conspiracy theory that Big Momma is the secret daughter of Mr. Hershey and blame her for the deaths (though Big Momma's plans haven't even begun being executed yet).  The wife gets so frustrated with her husband that she feeds him some candy.  He dies.


Miss Marjorie Dawson passes the day with Smitty, and asks to hear about his adventures since they were last together.  He said he had a job he had to leave because he "got misplaced".  He reveals he had to "lay pipe" for Big Momma, piquing Marjorie's jealousy.  He also reveals that he didn't finish the job because he instead heeded Marjorie's call.  She says she didn't call him, but rather that he was simply found, wandering around her garden.  But what happened?

**doo-di-li-do, doo-di-li-do, doo-di-li-do**  (flashback to what happened)

Smitty is digging to lay pipe underground for Big Momma, when his fellow Union workers from Latham's Department Store (Frankie and Jacobson with the lame leg) finally track him down.  They were so worried, but they become miffed because Union members can't just leave and get another job!  Smitty could be in deep trouble, unless he "compensates" his fellow Union members, so they might overlook the transgression.  They suggest an introduction to elderly sexpot Miss Marjorie Dawson!  When he refuses to bring them immediately, Frankie and Jacobson hit him with stun guns, spin him in a circle, and give him a disorienting shove.

**doo-di-li-do, doo-di-li-do, doo-di-li-do**  (flash-forward back to the conversation in Marjorie's bedroom)

Marjorie becomes very excited by the prospect of all these muscular workers fighting over her.  Smitty seems less than thrilled.  Jeeves brings lunch and a change of Depends.

• What is Tripp's zombie/pot-related plan, and will it work any better than his previous schemes?
• Can Princess Lakshmi and Rajiv get Quacky to translate the scroll with her father's location?
• Who is this "evil genie", and who is using his services?
• How did the poison candy get out so fast, if Big Momma hasn't even set up her factory yet?
• What will the Union do to Smitty if he doesn't silence the members with "favors" from Marjorie?
• Will Smitty get free of her, and does he even want to?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 151

It's time for Solomon's River's most popular cable-access TV show, Cut-Blow, hosted by Taiwanese Exchange student Whitney Shears, where viewers get to watch real hair salon action.  12 year old Jeremy, who has the zombie-inoculation-induced uncuttable beard, is in the chair.  They avoid the beard and trim his hair, color and gossip about Mrs. Tilapia and Judge Graft, who is nothing but bad news.  The only gossip Jeremy has is that the Bailiff, a neighbor of his, touched him inappropriately.  Some kids in the audience shout confessions that they, too, have been touched by the Bailiff.  The hosts, not being mandatory reporters, move on to other gossip, including that the stylist heard there were zombie-reversal ice cubes for sale on Amazon.  The audience cheers.

Rajiv has applied to every fast food joint in Solomon's River and Princess Lakshmi says it's time she asks her royal parents for a favor: get Rajiv a job.  Princess Lakshmi Skypes and finds her Papa is now into franchising 7-11s and that she should send Rajiv over in the morning.

Bailiff's girlfriend has been pregnant for three days and Judge Graft thinks he is being taken advantage of.  Mrs. Tilapia laments that the police department doesn't listen to her.  The Court Reporter reports that Mrs. Tilapia is, however, trending online, though the denizens of Solomon's River don't know she's "a furriner" yet.  Judge Graft orders Mrs. Tilapia to arrest two people every day, which he believes will boost her respect AND get him court business.

A former zombie appears in court with Jessica, the co-ed who was registering zombies to vote.  The former zombie is upset because now he doesn't know if his registration is valid, now that his zombism has gone away.  He says some guy gave him a water bottle, he drank, and just sort of woke up okay.  Judge Graft declares him undead, which gets confusing: it is "undead" or "un-dead".  Mrs. Tilapia's first arrest of the day is Jessica, for illegal voter registration.  Her second arrest is the former zombie for eating brains.

• Will Jeremy's uncuttable beard become manageable now that others' superpowers have been wearing off?
• Will anyone investigate the Bailiff, and how old is his girlfriend, anyway?
• Why does a princess' father franchise 7-11s?
• What kind of job will Rajiv get from Princess Lakshmi's father?
• Will Mrs. Tilapia remain popular after she arrests two people every day?
• What will happen to Jessica, a co-ed in jail?
• Are zombies finally disappearing for good?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 150

Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi, tied up by Tripp in Rajiv's Coffeehouse that Tripp turned into a zombie-themed bar, are finally free, and the Princess is finally back to her actual age.  Instead of making another stand, Rajiv convinces the Princess that giving up is a better option.

Judge Graft brings in Mr. Tilapia, without his wife, for an off-the-record threat that he leave Solomon's River forever, or else.  Detective Smegley enters to petition Judge Graft for more police officers, since the Mayor has banned hiring.  To help, Judge Graft brings in Mrs. Tilapia and makes her Detective Smegley's boss: the Chief of Police!

Mrs. Tilapia engages the Court Reporter to make the online announcement, and the Court Reporter passes along some Solomon's River history--Chiefs of Police don't ever last very long.  The Court Reporter also warns that now that Judge Graft has done two favors for Mrs. Tilapia, he may come to her in the future for favors, like hiding bodies or maybe...the other thing.  Mrs. Tilapia claims she's good at both.

A zombie shuffles into a laboratory, completing an experiment.  He drinks from a test tube and...he's suddenly verbal again.  "Mommy!" he cries, running from the room.

Brother Offenshitz consults Brother Chiliwang for insights from having Princess Evaleen's god-power stone up his nose.  Chiliwang sees that the Jewish Deity Gigi is strangely absent, but there is an ever greater power coming in the form of a great battle between Big Momma and the Native Americans.  The Brothers discover the stone will not come out until Chiliwang fulfills his destiny, whatever that may be.  Chiliwang must leave the mountain and consult the Native Americans to find out what they will do.  Offenshitz packs Chilliwang's runch.

FBI agents Cribbins and Maxwell visit Judge Graft looking for Mr. Tilapia, and learn he was released and told to leave Solomon's River forever.  Agent Maxwell reveals that Mr. Tilapia had been under witness protection.  Agent Maxwell trains new Agent Cribbins to question judgment.  Bailiff says he gave Mr. Tilapia a ticket to Shitheadville (shi-teed-ville) the next town over.  When the agents exit, Judge Graft instructs Bailiff to make sure they leave town.

• What will Rajiv and the Princess Lakshmi do for work?
• Can Detective Smegley work with a boss like Mrs. Tilapia, and can Mrs. Tilapia survive as Chief of Police?
• Has a zombie found a cure for zombism?  How will that affect Tripp's zombie-themed bar?
• What is Brother Chilliwang's destiny?
• Will Cribbins and Maxwell find Mr. Tilapia in Shitheadville, and why was he under witness protection?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 149

Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi are upset at the altered state of his coffeehouse.  Tripp, the guy who took over the shop while they were in Greece and turned it into a zombie-themed bar, finds them, ties them up, and tries to get them to behave like zombies.  Tripp and his assistant are forced to leave by the arrival of a real zombie, whom Rajiv hires as a cleaning person to help restore his shop.  Rajiv and the Princess enjoy being tied up for a while.

Meanwhile, Angelica updates Big Momma on the progress of Lake Superior towards Solomon's River.  The Crew Foreman arrives to complain that "Injuns" are in the way.  Big Momma recommends getting TNT and blowing them up.  Crew Foreman and Big Momma have a clash of personalities and, unbeknownst to him, the Foreman is lucky to leave un-cursed.

McShane wanders the woods, still trying to find Tommy and Sally, who he simultaneously wishes would hold still AND go away forever.  In a slightly different part of the woods, Tommy and Sally manage to find each other and remember they wanted to kill Dr. Scarlett for killing their baby (unbeknownst to them, there never was a baby since they have misunderstood how sex works.)  They go to find a killing stick.

The Court Reporter previews the next case to Judge Graft: a divorce between the French Matron Tilapia and her new, young beau Trevor, married for only 3 months.  Trevor wants her money but there is an air-tight prenup.  Matron Tilapia recognizes Trevor as an idiot, and Trevor needs to leave to do his AP Calculus homework (he is in 12th grade plus 3).  Judge Graft grants the divorce and moves to arrest the Matron Tilapia for possible pedophilia, when in walks the former Mr. Tilapia, who they all thought was dead!  The court sucks wind in surprise.  It turns out Mr. Tilapia is also an idiot.  Judge Graft throws them all in jail.

• Will Tripp just meekly let somebody take over the bar that he took over?
• Is coexistence with zombies possible?
• What happens when an indigenous people is blown up?
• Will the Crew Foreman escape the wrath of Big Momma if he fails?
• Can McShane ever find Tommy and Sally, and does he really want to?
• Is Dr. Scarlett's life truly in danger?
• What will Judge Graft do to the Tilapias and Trevor?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 148

Dr. Scarlett is assisted by Large Marge, a terrible nurse, to operate on Sara, the car accident victim.  As anesthesia is inexpertly applied, Nurse arrives to speak with Dr. Scarlett.  Nurse recognizes "Large Marge" as Margaret, her bestie from primary school, who nearly ruined her life.  As they relive their animosity, a zombie enters and, unnoticed, munches on the patient.  Nurse is even more angry with Dr. Scarlett for hiring her arch nemesis.  They notice the patient is still...alive?  Impossible!  Half her brain was eaten by a zombie, but it seems Dr. Scarlett has worked a miracle without working at all.  Nurse invites half-brained Sara to work for her.

Magnus Adversson, sadly old again, is back at Rajiv's Coffee House.  Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi enter, also returned from Greece.  Magnus wishes to have Rajijv's superpower spit to be young again, but the spit no longer works.  They all notice the coffee shop looks different...it is now a coffee shop that caters to zombies!  Princess Lakshmi and Magnus have a Golden Girls moment where they plan a party to toast their friendship.  Rajiv doesn't completely understand.

Meanwhile, out on the street, a recent double amputee is knocked from her wheelchair by a callous woman.  It turns out she is a fairy god person, along with her male friend, who only grant wishes to rich, beautiful people.  The handicapped woman rolls away.

Judge Graft is in a rage.  His court reporter summarizes: Native Americans have holed themselves up and are burning tires, a trench is being dug from Lake Superior to Solomon's River, Judge Graft is negatively trending online because people who voted for Chief of Police are upset the judge just replaced him.  Former Chief of Police Lt. Bustybottoms bursts in, drunk, after a six month bender.  The Graft-appointed new police chief is missing, and Bustybottoms' butt isn't looking so hot.  Det. Schmegly, the last police officer on duty, arrives.  The court reporter records the entire interaction as Graft orders Schmegly to put Bustybottoms in the drunk tank.  Somewhere, across the interwebs, young women Tracy, Geraldine, and Bonette see the trending video and spread it around the internet.  They all head to the police station to goggle in person.

• Will Nurse continue to be plagued by her primary school nemesis Large Marge?
• Will a half-brained, untrained, car accident victim prove to be a better nurse than the other replacements?
• Can Rajiv reclaim his coffee shop and how will the Golden Girls party go?
• What will the two fairy god people do for the rich and beautiful people of Solomon's River?
• Will Lt. Bustybottom dry out?  Can he whip the police department back into order with only Det. Schmegly on duty?  Can he monetize his sudden, unintended internet fame?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 137

Co-ed Jessica is manning the voter registration desk and desperately trying to get personal information from tight-lipped zombies.  Name, address, and district escape them, but Jessica's brains don't.  She is eaten.

Rajiv pleads with the unusually young Princess Lakshmi to understand: he doesn't want to be a child molester.  She wants him as a man, and he wants her to have an early bedtime.  A threatened spanking nearly brings their desires together, but Rajiv wins out when a customer enters, forcing Lakshmi into the basement again.  Magnus Adversson orders a rhubarb pie with youth-inducing Rajiv spit.  As a suddenly younger Magnus, Rajiv has him sign a contract for youth-spit research in Geneva, and Lakshmi reminds Rajiv she would also like a reverse formula so she can get back to normal.

Angelica returns to her mistress after having been kidnapped and nearly killed by the Uber Minion.  Establishing herself as Uber Minion, Angelica asks for new instructions, and Mistress says, "Let the town of Solomon's River be on the shores of Lake Superior!"  Angelica figures moving the lake will be easier than moving the town and she begins drafting plans.

Reporter Anabelle Anderson of WWSR brings breaking news: a voter registration volunteer had the stop of her head chewed off.  A "down-home" eye witness reports what she saw in a way that she hopes will get her an autotuned song for her fifteen minutes of fame.

In their backwoods cabin, Bartholomew begs Cletus to help him find the lost girl they lost again.  Cletus strains to think though his hunger, but maintains he sees the girl in a bush.  Sally runs through their weak grasps.

Meanwhile, at the police station, Deputy George interviews a woman reporting she was inappropriately touched on the head and hand.  She describes the perp: very pale, dark hair that came down in a point, pointy sideburns, like Spock, but regular ears, perhaps pointy teeth... She screams as Lieutenant Bustybottoms enters.  The Lieutenant has a similar smell: cologne and feet.  Bustybottoms admits he likes to smoke Indian cigarettes and they figure the perp must, too.  The woman says the man "disappeared in a twinkle of light" and demands he be brought down the station...so he can touch her again!

• Is co-ed Jessica fully digested, or will she return as a zombie?  Will that help her communicate better with the zombie population?
• How fast can Magnus' scientists recreate the youth-spit, and can they make it reversible?
• What will Bartholomew and Cletus do when and if they ever recapture Sally?
• Can Deputy George catch the touchy-feely criminal?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 136

Rajiv tries to comfort a very young Princess Lakshmi in the coffee shop's basement.  Rajiv has a "wait and see" philosophy, and suggests pretending Lakshmi is a niece from out of town.  She wants her man's love, but it's simply too creepy for him.

Meanwhile, a new plot line develops in a scrapbooking store when Steven, a former gymnast gone to seed, returns to visit his ex-partner.  He left her to follow a Star Trek convention.  He swears he only came to the shop for paper, stirs up memories from the past.  The fact that Steven has touched a girl impresses his road trip partner and fellow Trekkie.  They stay civil, and he gives him the 10" command gold paper, despite...the child!  Their last stint in Cirque du Soleil produced Steven Jr., who is very angry at his absent father; however Steven reveals her deception: he is sterile!  Who could the father be?  Judge Graft enters, cutting their argument short, and she gives her former lover the paper on the house.  Apparently the judge and Steven know each other...  Once Steven leaves, the scrapbook store owner hints to Judge Graft that she may need a sample of his DNA for testing.

Jessica, the university student, seems to be stalking Judge Graft as she manages to corner him at the scrapbooking store.  She pins him down to get his approval for her zombie voting rights idea and he offers a three-fifths compromise.  His not wanting to count the zombies as full people disturbs the equality-minded Jessica, but the judge assures her that "no lawyer in the county would represent them."

At a bus stop, a zombie waits impatiently.  The enterprising Jessica tries to register the zombie to vote.  Other zombies shuffle in, groaning.  A bus finally arrives and the zombies, not sure about their polling places, get on...sitting in the front...

• Will Rajiv's super youth spit wear off, or will Princess Lakshmi have to grow up naturally?  Or, will she remain a young child forever?  What will the couple do about their "relations"?
• If Trekkie Steven is not the father of Steven Jr., who is?  Could it be Judge Graft?
• How will the judge's three-fifths compromise go over with Solomon's River's zombie population?
• Can zombies freely sit in the front of the bus?
• Will Jessica's push to get zombies registered to vote work, or will she have her brains eaten?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 133

Rajiv is in a pickle: does wait for the upset Princess Lakshmi in case she returns, or does he go to Magnus Adversson's mansion to work on plans for his "Scrak of Youth"?  Before he can decide, Lakshmi calls from the last payphone in all of Solomon's River to tell him that her super strength is getting out of control.  She can say no more, however, because she accidentally crushes the receiver.  Rajiv leaves to find her.

Jeremy, the 8th grader with the premature and indestructible beard, meets Loser Myrtle's father when he arrives to pick her up for the school dance (followed by a rented hotel room.)  Her father says both a dance and a hotel is too much; Jeremy may only choose one, so he chooses the hotel.  Bad kids from the school egg Myrtle as she leaves with Jeremy, but the couple is not deterred, and Myrtle vows vengeance.

Meanwhile, in the zombie-infested recording studio, opera star Rinatta Frinatta arrives to record her arias.  Miss Frinatta tries to work with a zombie pianist and zombie recording engineer, but they turn her beautiful aria into an operatic rendition of "Brains!"  Rinatta Frinatta leaves to complain to her manager.

In Solomon's River's General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett tries to get his new nurse to find his old nurse, Nurse.  Describing Nurse's most distinctive attribute, the new nurse promises to report him to HR, but is promptly fired when a new, new nurse arrives.  Rinatta Frinatta hurries in, worried about possible contagions from the horrible workers at the recording studio.  The quiet hospital suddenly bustling, Princess Lakshmi enters, complaining about the unwanted superpower side effects of Brendeesha Scarf's Zombie Inoculation.  Intrigued, Rinatta sneaks away.  Dr. Scarlett scoffs at the idea of zombies, just before zombies enter.  Lakshmi shows off her powers by crushing some zombies.  Dr. Scarlett debates the limits of the Hippocratic Oath.

In Brendisha Scarf's laboratory, they worry about tracking all their missing subjects.  Rinatta Frintatta, wanting to preserve her voice, arrives for a zombie inoculation.  Three hours later, Rinatta finds out about the side effects first hand.  She opens her mouth, and her voice is not only operatic, but very, VERY loud, breaking glass, plastic, and metal!

Tara the Cool Girl gathers her posse of fellow cool girls (Zelda, Shirra, and Gladys) and vows to get revenge on Loser Myrtle after being passed over by Hottie Jeremy of the Beard.  The fellow cool girls, falling in line behind Tara, strut to the dance...

• Will Rajiv find Princess Lakshmi?
• Will Princess Lakshmi get her super strength under control?
• Will everyone's zombie inoculation super power keep increasing?
• Will Dr. Scarlett start treating zombies?
• Where has Nurse gone?
• Can Brendeesha Scarf ever publish her results when all her test subjects run away?
• How will Jeremy and Loser Myrtle's 8th grade date at a local hotel go?
• Will Tara, Zelda, Shirra, and Gladys find Myrtle and if so, what are their plans?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 128

Bartholomew and Cletus grow worried, as Sally has been gone over an hour and has not yet returned with their possum. They argue regarding the wisdom of sending someone who had been lost in the woods for two days out into the woods once again. It also comes out that Mom liked Cletus better, mainly because he looks better in a skirt. Cletus is hungry, so they go out looking for her. 

 

Meanwhile, somewhere deep in the woods, Sally wanders aimlessly, looking for Tommy and possums. She finds tracks which are bigger than her hand. She follows, ignoring the wolf howling, until she comes across a stranger who admits to having eaten the possum she was following. He invites her back to his place and she, of course, goes with him.

Elsewhere in the woods, Cletus demands to know why Bartholomew always leads, since he always gets them lost. After some back and forth, they apologize to each other. Cletus decides they have to go talk to the Old Man of the Woods. Ignoring the Old Man of the Forest who happens to be passing by, they follow the Old Man of the Woods trail in their quest to find the Old Man of the Woods.

Somewhere else, an old couple is fighting when the neighbor bangs on their wall, yelling for them to be quiet. Fred's wife Elizabeth tells him to talk with his neighbor, who refuses to come down (he has "the gout"), but instead sends down his older brother, Pedro, who is a retired luchador. Fred threatens to whoop his ass, but when Pedro arrives, they have a nice little chat about how cranky Pedro's younger brother is. His brother goads him to "Give 'em what for!" but Pedro says he'd rather just sit there and watch, which Fred and Elizabeth take him up on, inviting him into the bedroom.

Rajiv and Lakshmi have finally made their way out of the caverns, having eluded the zombies, at least for the moment. The Princess suggests, since they are the only two who know about the zombie infestation, that they call in a zombie professional. There is a knock on the door; it is the famous zombie professional, Brendita Scarf! Brendita agrees to save Solomon's River!

Later, at Brendita Scarf's place, Brendita's secretary is trying to tell a frantic man that her boss has no time free in her schedule to see him. He needs to tell her that there are zombies everywhere! The secretary tries to send him back outside, but he says he'll do anything rather than go back out there. She asks him to "step into this cage with these other gentlemen," and promises to get back to him later on. There he is informed by another man that they are to be used as "bait" by the zombie hunter. While there may be free Twinkies, he is still upset and wants to plan to escape, but gets little help from his fellow captives, one who actually volunteered. Suddenly, one of the men in the cage reveals himself to be a zombie, and chaos ensues!

• Will Bartholomew and Cletus find Sally?
• Will Sally be safe with this new stranger?
• Will Pedro be content to sit and watch?
• Can Brendita Scarf solve the zombie crisis?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 127

Angelica presents Big Momma with spell ingredients gathered from Uber Minion, only one eyelash short; however, Big Momma says she doesn't need the lash to still get rid of everyone who is against her!  Uber Minion enters, wisely slathered in Crisco (an effective spell repellent), to take out Big Momma once and for all.  Big Momma sends Angelica to wake Big Poppa, who has been in a spell-induced coma since 1976 when he annoyed his wife.  Big Poppa proceeds to slap the Uber Minion around before taking him off to spoon.  Angelica picks up the spell ingredients which have fallen to the floor.  Big Momma is confident, but Angelica suspects the creeblies and dust bunnies from the floor may cause trouble with the spell-casting.

The Lynching Party had cookies and eggnog, but never got around to the lynching.  Only a few party-goers remain, and while Greta would still like to lynch, Frieda is nervous because one of Big Momma's cats had been lurking outside her window.  They compromise by sending Bertrandina, new to their group, to bring Big Momma a peace offering of leftover Christmas lynching cookies.

Meanwhile, shirtless hillbillies Bartholomew and Cletus attempt to use the lost Sally as their personal servant, not understanding the limits of her intelligence.  Directed to skin and boil a dead possum, when she touches it, the animal springs back to life and escapes.  Bartholomew and Cletus send her out to the woods to bring it back.  Sally finds a slow loris, but no possum.

Sergeant Smegley mans the police department desk phone, taking a noise complaint from a residence near Rajiv's Coffee Shop.  Policeman Joe Bob brings the Sergeant doughnuts but is, tragically, sent out to investigate.

Unbeknownst to Joe Bob, Lakshmi and Rajiv made it from the caverns back to the coffee shop, closing the trap door behind them.  As they began to set up for business, they heard a thumping sound from the basement ran for it as zombies pushed through the trap door.  It is at that moment policeman Joe Bob enters, trying to interview the patrons who turn out to be zombies.  The newly nibbled and zombie-fied policeman is after jelly doughnuts, and he assaults a public drunk to get some.

• How will Uber Minion escape the attentions of Big Poppa?
• Will Big Poppa acclimate to the new century?
• Will Big Momma's spell go as planned...or not?
• Will Big Momma accept lynching cookies in exchange for peace?
• Does Sally have healing powers?
• How fast does a zombie plague spread?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!