Rajiv is frustrated after Magnus Adversson's unwillingness to produce the antidote to Rajiv's extreme anti-aging spit, and tries to get Princess Lakshmi on board with searching Magnus' Grecian mansion, but the princess' regression has reached a critical level and her infancy regresses...into an embryo! Rajiv picks her up in a tissue and goes to find a jar.
McShane is loving his new job as a school custodian. As he bends to scrape gum off the floor, disembodied voices call to him, "McShane! We're lost and scared! We might die because of you!" Guilt forces him to ask for a vacation so he can search for Tommy and Sally in the woods.
Tripp and a friend break into Rajiv's Coffee House to steal the copper pipes. Groaning floats up to them from the basement trap door and gives Tripp a brainstorm: open a zombie-themed bar! He figures they'll work for brains.
Angelica debriefs Big Momma on the progression of Lake Superior to Solomon's River which is being blocked by Native American protesters. Angelica believes she can get the White Folk to fight the Native Americans simply because of racial bias...as long as they don't find out Big Momma herself is a lovely shade of burnished copper. Angelica further suggests a curse on the natives. Big Momma says to cause fire in the tee-pees and trailer homes, blow up the mansions and gas stations, and cause the crops to fail. Angelica leaves to get the components to cast the curse.
Exploring the woods for Tommy and Sally is just as frustrating as it ever was for McShane and voices echo ominously.
Kevin and Zeb hide in his closet to his from the recently summoned Jewish deity Gigi. They think controlling her might be easier than killing her outright; however, the time isn't right for Kevin's motion-magic and they'll have to keep Gigi in the basement until the moon is full and hope she doesn't cause too much trouble in those seventeen days.
- Will Rajiv be able to save the embryonic Princess Lakshmi?
- Are zombies still cool enough to make Tripp's bar successful?
- What will the Native Americans do if Big Momma's curse works?
- What will the Angry White Folk do if they find out Big Momma herself isn't white?
- Will McShane save Tommy and Sally to assuage his guilt, or will he die trying?
- Can new magician Kevin control a deity?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
Spirit Animal Raccoon is growing impatient with the dream-resistant Runs with Weasels, but soon a vision manifests: two females...fighting over a bathing suit...and using one another like lollypops... Though the Spirit Animal is interested, the vision dissipates quickly as Runs with Weasels only wants more Peace Pipe. Runs is awakened by a Chief who objects to the rude nudity and tells the turgid youth to leave.
Hidden in the baggage of the plane, Rajiv and the baby Princess Lakshmi finally land in Greece where they hope to find a cure from Magnus Adversson for the Princess' age regression. At his Grecian mansion, Magnus basks in his own regression, which has allowed him to return to the vigor, and non-pant pooping, age of 25. Rajiv interrupts and begs Magnus to help, but Magnus will only help once he has free rights to Rajiv's spit. Rajiv demands the antidote now. Magnus refuses, so Rajiv spits on him until he, too, is a baby--who instantly has a poopie party with the baby Lakshmi!
In budding magician Kevin's basement rec room, his budding magician friend Zeb discovers the last, and toughest, pages of their magic book are missing. Zeb has the revelation that somebody from the spirit realm doesn't want the fantastically talented Kevin to learn those spells. Kevin's mom, Mrs. McUmphry, interrupts with some Tontino's Pizza Rolls and casually mentions she threw out a wad of ripped-out book pages, save one. That one page, however, will level up Kevin's motion magic. Kevin reads the page...he swirls...he twirls...he waves his arms... he conjures and traps a minor Jewish deity: Gigi! Now they can use her to get the rest of the spells.
Judge Rufus T. Graft calls for his secretary Ellie Mae, but there is a temp in her place today. Judge Graft informs the temp of an important meeting with "those red-skinned bastards" which should only be recorded in the "other book" because he is willing to judge in their favor if "the wheels of justice are greased". Two native women arrive; Runs with Rivers is shocked by the process of bribery, but Dances on the Beach is shocked that judge wants money and not the sex she was willing to give. Unfortunately, Judge Graft is unable to "lift the gavel" and instead wishes to have a percentage of their "leafy" crop business. He threatens them with his connections at the DEA if they do not come to an agreement, which is that he will stop the diversion of Lake Superior IF they make him a 20% under-the-table partner. They will take it under consideration.
- Will Runs with Weasels find enlightenment before Spirit Raccoon gives up on him?
- Can Rajiv find and use Magnus' age-regression antidote on his own, or will he now have to raise two babies, who may only get younger?
- What will Jewish deity Gigi do for...or to...Kevin?
- Will the Native Americans agree to Judge Graft's deal, and can they trust him?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
