Episode 126

Rajiv managed not only to avoid the shuffling zombies chasing him in the caverns, but he also found Lakshmi.  Before they work together to escape, she makes Rajiv declare her a free woman, and he makes Lakshmi proclaim her love for him.  They pinkie swear on it.  He promises to have his wife declared dead.

Frieda and Greta invite others to their witch lynch party and they decide to combine it with the upcoming holidays and make it a Christmas lynching.  John is in charge of the food, twins Timmy and Tommy choose the Christmas/lynching carol list, and someone else is in charge of the garland, which will be used to string up the witches.  Frieda and Greta tell everyone to meet back with their goodies, and then they'll lynch the Queen of the Witches.

Sally is with McShane and she is worried for the freshly lost-in-the-forest Tommy.  McShane suggests they search together, which Sally remembers is what got them all lost in the first place.  She brilliantly suggests a rope, so they don't get separated.  Not-brilliantly, she gives the entire rope to McShane.  After they leave for the forest, Tommy arrives to find they are gone.

Angelica sneaks into Uber Minion's room to gather the ingredients which Big Momma, aka Queen of the Witches, needs to cast a spell on the plotting Uber.  Angelica manages toenail clippings and a spare toupee before Uber returns and discovers her.  She takes the opportunity to cut off one of his ears and take an eye.  He promises to kill her someday.  She has forgotten to get an eyelash.

John comes home to rope his mother into making cookies for their Christmas lynching party.  His alcoholic father lurks in the background, and John has trouble reading the recipe.

Meanwhile, at Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett asks Nurse where all the other nurses are and she explains the NurseNudist-etc-Nado.  Nurse leaves with the nurse roster to find them.  After she leaves, McShane confronts Dr. Scarlett and announces his intention to kill him to avenge Tommy and Sally's baby.  Dr. Scarlett explains that Sally was never pregnant because there is a need for intercourse before there can be a baby.

With McShane at the hospital, Sally is all alone in the middle of the forest.  Two rubes, Bartholomew and Cletus, offer to help the crying woman and invite her back to their shack in the woods.  She goes...

• Will Rajiv and Lakshmi keep their promises to love and honor?  What will Mrs. Rajiv do when she discovers she has been declared dead?
• Will Big Momma's spell work without an eyelash?  What will Uber Minion do without depth perception or a spare toupee?
• Can Big Momma cast her spell and keep the witches safe against the impending lynch mob?
• Can John's Christmas lynching cookies possibly come out okay?
• Will Nurse find the other tossed-about nurses?
• Is McShane satisfied with Dr. Scarlett's explanation of how babies are made?
• What will become of Sally?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 121

We open Solomon's River with Rajiv polishing his counter once again, musing on how quiet things have been of late. At that moment his wife bursts in and explains that she has been held prisoner in a Pakistani prison for a year because his girlfriend, Princess Lakshmi, told them that Mrs. Rajiv was a terrorist! Rajiv denies having a girlfriend, although he does tell his wife not to look in the basement. Mrs. Rajiv declares that she is alright with his girlfriend "being where she cannot see her". Having acquiesced to this new living arrangement, Mrs. Rajiv leaves to go to the store so she can make dinner. Rajiv takes this opportunity to visit Lakshmi beneath the trapdoor. As she berates him for leaving her trapped in his basement, Mrs. Rajiv returns for the car keys. Rajiv admits he left them in the car, at which point he is yelled at again and told they will "talk about this later." Lakshmi now knows that Rajiv's wife has returned! The princess hopes Mrs. Rajiv will help her escape, until she is reminded about all that Pakistani prison/terrorist stuff. Rajiv agrees to un-strap Lakshmi from the wall, as long as she promises not to try to escape. She promises, fingers crossed.  Rajiv leaves.

Tripp is reunited with his mother, Angelica. He explains how he went into a house to ask for "23 pounds" and ended up with what looks like a child strapped to his chest. Angelica tell him how he used to have a twin, but it was absorbed into his body, apparently not completely. Tripp wonders if they could slice it off, or use "Icy Hot" to remove it. Angelica, dipping into her vast reservoir of knowledge regarding all things illegal, tells him she knows just the place to go to have it removed. She'll help him if he agrees to help her find an old man.

Princess Evaleene is being chased by her sycophants.

Two dudes discover their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to report the theft and Det. Smegly takes their information. The car was parked next to Solomon's River Canyon, but he cannot seem to get any more helpful information from them other than the car is blue with rust spots. At that moment, Mrs. Rajiv comes in to report that there is a car in their driveway that is not theirs, then leaves just as suddenly. The detective tells the dude he'll look for his car, but it will take a couple of weeks. The dude wants to borrow a car, but the detective is not very helpful, giving them a flyer for an auction that takes place in a month. After the dudes complain about how they can't go without a car for a month, Det. Smegly moves the auction up to tomorrow.

• Is Rajiv's wife really okay with these living arrangements?
• Will Princess Lakshmi be content staying in the basement, drinking nothing but old, warm Dr. Pibb?
• Will Tripp come to love his partially absorbed twin?
• What does Angelica want with an old man?
• Can Det. Smegly find the dude's car, or will he be forced to lend them a police cruiser?
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Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in Solomon's River!

Episode 112

After the infamously three-way scuffle at the Adverson Mansion, Princess Lakshmi returns to speak privately with Rajiv. After being assured that Mrs. Rajiv is nowhere to be seen (she is off talking with Dr. Scarlett,) Lakshmi both tries to warn Rajiv about how abusive she is and berates him for allowing his wife back into his life after all this time. The princess gives Rajiv an ultimatum: if he loves his wife, he must say with her; if he loves Lakshmi, he must stay with her. She leaves for the Motel 5 to await his answer. Rajiv, perhaps unwisely, promises he will not forget to let her know his choice.

Meanwhile, at the local Super Walmart, Shaniqua and Latisha, two very dissatisfied cashiers, plot to revolt and “take this Walmart down!” They begin by looking to find some places to sabotage (“bust up”), starting with Bulk Items.

McShane, apparently at his new job, is readying for a last-minute meeting in the conference room. Unbeknownst to him, the meeting was arranged by his old friends Sally and Tommy! They arrive, so happy to see McShane, yet sad that he left them behind while he embarked on his new life path. They thought he had died in the hospital! After a quick soft-spot-pressing demonstration, Sally and Tommy offer to help McShane with his business. Coffee arrives, secretaries get burned, Sally and Tommy must leave town with McShanes help.

Meanwhile, in aisle 38 of Walmart, a mother tries to buy a big box of tampons while pulling her child along with a leash and choke chain. Shaniqua, who is busy “bustin' up this place” confronts this horrible mother and frees the child, allowing her to run wild and poop in aisle 14!

• Will Rajiv choose Lakshmi, or his wife?
• Will he remember to tell Lakshmi what he has decided?
• Will Shaniqua and Latisha take down Walmart?
• Can McShane get Sally and Tommy safely out of Solomon's River? Should he?
• Who will clean up the Code 2 in Aisle 14?

Find out the answer to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 111

A very upset Mrs. Rajiv calls the hospital to speak with Dr. Scarlett about the paternity test results. She is livid that the results show that her child, who is to be named “Patel Patel Patel,” is apparently the spawn of Dr. Scarlett himself! Before the doctor has the chance to explain how babies are made, Mrs. Rajiv points out the very important fact that she and the doctor have never been intimate with one another. To add insult to injury, the receptionist has been listening in on their conversation and is ready to spread the word to EVERYBODY!

Meanwhile, across town in the Strange Temple, acolytes are dancing in honor of High Priestess Evaleene. After a short episode of concern regarding both their inability to dance and sing in time with each other and the filthy state of the floor, High Priestess Evaleene appears and they plead with her to tell them how long before the End of the World. Evaleene reveals that it will be in four days! The acolytes leave to spread the word.

Later, in Magnus Adverson's mansion, Tripp is severely concerned about his mother Angelica's desire to take all of Magnus' underwear. She has big plans to sell them to Japanese men, who she thinks will pay a big fortune for them on eBay. Rajiv stumbles in and discovers them rifling through Magnus' drawers. Tripp tells him they are the new butler and maid, and Rajiv promptly orders a BLT. To further complicate matters, Mrs. Rajiv shows up, demanding to know why Rajiv is there. Tripp and Angelica tiptoe away as Mrs. Rajiv verbally assaults her husband. As they banter back and forth about the children, the doorbell rings and Princess Lakshmi appears, complete with her two broken arms. Rajiv hopes for another girl fight. Lakshmi informs Rajiv that she has heard the scuttlebutt about the paternity test results as Mrs. Rajiv denies knowing Dr. Scarlett. The argument continues, this time focusing on everyone's knowledge of biology. It ends with the Princess storming out and everyone proclaiming that they are going to get a lawyer.

• Are the paternity test results correct? Is Dr. Scarlett the father of Mrs. Rajiv's baby?
• Will the world really end in four days?
• Are Japanese men willing to pay a big fortune for Magnus' underwear?
• Are there enough lawyers in Solomon's River for everyone?
• Will Mrs. Rajiv name her baby “Patel Patel Patel?”

Find out the answer to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 29

In this week's episode of Solomon's River, we find Mr. Ylung talking with Magnus Adverson, concerned that Magnus has taken all his money out of Spelunker's Federal Credit Union...Ylung wants to know where the money is!

Meanwhile, at Calivera Enterprises, Carla is on the phone with Jason, a newly hired thug, wanting to know why the poison didn't work on the mayor!  She wishes Angelica hadn't quit;  She vows to try again.  Jason enters and is confronted by Carla.  They argue for a while over methodology until deciding upon a bullet in the face.  Or a knife jab in the kidney.  They hatch a plan to get Joe-Bob alone.

Across town, Angelica is talking with her son, Tripp, explaining why she no longer works for Carla Calivera; she is afraid Carla though Angelica had quit when Angelica was gone so long looking for her in the caves.  Tripp offers her a job in the bar, but Angelica is heartbroken about losing her job with Carla.  Tripp tells Angelica about how he enjoyed killing Wolfgang Offenschitz.  Angelica is distraught...it is the family curse!  Killing runs in his blood!

Later, at Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett is talking with his nurses, trying to find out what happened to Joe-Bob.  They explain that he just got up, stretched, and left the morgue.  The nurse thinks they should "get the stiff back."  Scarlett agrees and sends them after him.

At the Rajiv residence, Mrs. Rajiv answers a knock on the door, finding Jerry Koff on her doorstep.  He asks to speak with her, telling her how he can't stop thinking of her since last he saw her.  He wants her to volunteer on his campaign so he can be near her.  Rajiv calls to her from the bedroom, wanting her to rejoin him.  Joe-Bob Solomon arrives, having been told be Jerr Koff's assistant that he was there.  The mayor then does something to Koff that I can neither remember nor discern from the recording, so some help would be appreciated here.

The nurses are asking around town about the mayor; they talk with Carla, who is curious about why they are looking for him...Carla recognizes the nurses, and they recognize her. Carla senses they have a problem, and offer to give them a solution; she tells them to meet her at her office tomorrow. Once the nurses leave, Mayor Solomon arrives and punches Carla!

• Will Mr. Ylung find out what Magnus has done with the money?  Does Magnus even remember?
• Will Carla and Jason agree on a method with which to kill the mayor?
• Is Tripp cursed?
• Will the nurses find the mayor's body?
• Will Mrs. Rajiv run off with Jerry Koff?
• What solution does Carla have to offer?  Will she regain consciousness by the time the nurses return tomorrow?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 26

In our latest episode we find Rajiv pleading with his wife to forgive him for losing his job at the Dead Parrot bar; his wife promptly tells him it's all his fault for keeping the bar too clean.  Moments later Rajiv's cousin Habib arrives, explaining he took the Magnus suit, went to the bank, took out money and bought back the coffee house!  Rajiv tries to leave to get rid of the dancers in his coffee house, but is stopped when Jerr Koff comes by to ask for their vote.  Rajiv, who is not registered, refuses to let Koff talk to his wife; Jerr Koff leaves.

Meanwhile, in the mines, Angelica is looking for her boss, Carla Calivera, who was last seen lost, along with Magnus.  Angelica is surprised by Frannie Mason who tells her that Carla is not down there, but Angelica insists that she was last seen in the mines.  Magnus shows up, but is unable to tell Angelica where her boss is; they got separated.  Angelica proceeds to beat her head against a stalagmite.  Angelica tells Frannie to take Magnus up to the surface while she continues to search for Carla.

At Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett is surprised by Bob-Joe Solomon; neither can remember what happened last time they met...they both passed out at some point when Bob-Joe tried to kill Dr. Scarlett.  Bob-Joe apparently woke up in the middle of town wearing a clown suit and had a gun in his hand.  The gun had three shots fired; Bob-Joe remembers nothing.  He hopes Scarlett can give him answers.  Bob-Joe Solomon assures Scarlett that he is not there to harm him; he simply wants his help in sorting out what happened.  Scarlett's nurse arrives with the books on hypnosis he had ordered.  Scarlett promptly hypnotizes Bob-Joe and puts him to sleep.

• Will Rajiv be able to clear the riff-raff out of his newly-reacquired coffee house?
• Will Jerr Koff actually get anyone to vote for him?
• Will Angelica find Carla in the mines?
• What happened after Bob-Joe tried to strangle Dr. Scarlett?
• Will Bob-Joe Solomon get a good night's sleep?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 25

At the Retreat, Brother Offenschitz calls for Brother Chiliwang; he claims he has "found it!"  Inner peace!  He was in his cube, going through his bottom dresser drawer, and he found it.  Just as Chiliwang is about to release Brother Offenschitz, Tripp walks in disguised as Magnus.  Brother Chiliwang departs, Wolfgang invites Magnus to meditate with him, but instead Tripp/Magnus gets behind him and snaps his neck!!!

At the Rajiv house, Rajiv attempts to chastise his wife for embarrassing him in front of the customers.  She is upset that he is serving them alcohol in a bar.  Tripp walks into their house as Magnus, asking Rajiv to help him out of the suit.  He pulls down the zipper, and out pops Tripp!  Mrs. Rajiv is worried about this "sketchy person."  Tripp tells Rajiv that the bar is too clean; he is fired. One of the Rajiv cousins comes in, spouts off in Hindi, takes the now-empty Magnus suit and goes out of the room, Rajiv following close behind.

Meanwhile, at Solomon's River General Hospital, Jerry Koff finds Dr. Scarlet (who has mysteriously survived Bob-Joe's attempt on his life) and asks to see the body in the morgue that looks suspiciously like the mayor.  Scarlet takes him down to look at the body.  After shooing his nurse off of the body, Scarlet shows it to Koff, who identifies it, asking him to make sure it is not "plugged in."  As Scarlet is checking for a pulse, his nurse comes back in, trying to keep another nurse out of the room while the doctor is in there.  She wants her turn at the body.  Jerr Koff leaves, after asking for their votes.

• What will happen now that Tripp has apparently murdered Wolfgang Offenschitz?
• How will Rajiv support his family now that he has lost his job at the Dead Parrot?
• Is it really Mayor Joe-Bob's body on the slab?
• Will we ever have any love stories in Solomon's River?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 24

In the latest installment of Solomon's River, we begin with Tripp using the Magnus Adverson suit to try to gain access to the Retreat, where Wolfgang Offenschitz is trying to attain inner peace, in an attempt to kill Offenschitz so that he can take the pressure off his mother, Angelica, who is trying to take the pressure off her boss, Carla Calivera, who is trying to turn over a new leaf, but must first kill Wolfgang for the mayor.  Tripp realizes he has no identification, which will complicate his attempt at passing himself off as Adverson.  He then runs into Wolfgang and tries to elicit his help.  One of the Brothers comes by to try and get Magnus/Tripp to leave Brother Offenschitz alone so he can meditate; Brother Chiliwang soon arrives as well and leads Magnus/Tripp out.

Meanwhile, at the Dead Parrot Bar, Rajiv is tending bar in Tripp's absence as some strangers come in.  Mrs. Rajiv storms in, demanding to know where her husband has been!  He explains to her what has happened to the coffee house.  A dude comes in and tells everyone about a pitchfork and torch party going on in town.  One of Rajiv's relatives from India arrives, offering to help him get back his coffee house.  Bob-Joe Solomon comes in during the confusion and offers one of the strangers $200 to get rid of a black bag he has outside in his pickup truck, without looking in it!

Across town at the former coffee house, the dance party continues!  Magnus gets caught up with his granddaughter, Samantha...he wants to know what happened to Cilantro.  Samantha thought she was in town all the time she was gone; she is looking for Mr. Ylung...she notes that Cilantro seems to have disappeared around the same time as Ylung!  As the dance party winds down (too many old people) a confused stranger wanders in - the man from the black bag!!!

• Will Tripp's devilish plot work?
• Will Wolfgang ever attain inner peace?
• Will Mrs Rajiv teach her husband not to give away large possessions while she's gone?
• What was Bob-Joe doing with a body bag?
• Will Cilantro return?  Is she with Mr. Ylung???

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 5

Tonight's episode of Solomon's River begins in the backyard of Joe-Bob Solomon, Mayor of Solomon's River.  He is cutting his lawn as his very unhappy neighbor complains about Joe-Bob's dog leaving "packages" on his lawn.  The conversation breaks down as the neighbor moves on to complain about other conditions in town.

At Calivera Industries we find Carla Calivera mulling over the fact that the mayor is trying to close down her factory, ostensibly due to the sidestepping of regulations.  She then moves on to consider what to do about all the bodies in the back room as Angelica, an employee, is dragging more bodies to add to the lot.  Carla is afraid there may be a snitch working for her.

At Rajiv's Coffee House, Mrs. Rajiv is tending the counter as her husband works in the back.  The mayor and Carla meet, exchanging invectives.  Angelica pops her head into the Coffee House to talk with the mayor, sees Carla, turn and leaves, unseen.

Meanwhile, in the Solomon Mines, the Mason brothers are having issues with how they are taking care of bodies for Carla Calivera; one brother complains that he is doing most of the work himself, the other does not deny it.  As they agree that the other brother will take care of the next body, the mayor's very unhappy neighbor arrives, looking for someone to "take care of his neighbor's dog, then...his neighbor!"

• Will Mayor Solomon's dog learn to curb itself?
• Will Carla get caught letting employees die?
• Will Angelica snitch to the mayor?
• Will the Mason Brothers stop arguing?
• Will the mayor and his dog get "taken care of?"

 Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!