Episode 25

At the Retreat, Brother Offenschitz calls for Brother Chiliwang; he claims he has "found it!"  Inner peace!  He was in his cube, going through his bottom dresser drawer, and he found it.  Just as Chiliwang is about to release Brother Offenschitz, Tripp walks in disguised as Magnus.  Brother Chiliwang departs, Wolfgang invites Magnus to meditate with him, but instead Tripp/Magnus gets behind him and snaps his neck!!!

At the Rajiv house, Rajiv attempts to chastise his wife for embarrassing him in front of the customers.  She is upset that he is serving them alcohol in a bar.  Tripp walks into their house as Magnus, asking Rajiv to help him out of the suit.  He pulls down the zipper, and out pops Tripp!  Mrs. Rajiv is worried about this "sketchy person."  Tripp tells Rajiv that the bar is too clean; he is fired. One of the Rajiv cousins comes in, spouts off in Hindi, takes the now-empty Magnus suit and goes out of the room, Rajiv following close behind.

Meanwhile, at Solomon's River General Hospital, Jerry Koff finds Dr. Scarlet (who has mysteriously survived Bob-Joe's attempt on his life) and asks to see the body in the morgue that looks suspiciously like the mayor.  Scarlet takes him down to look at the body.  After shooing his nurse off of the body, Scarlet shows it to Koff, who identifies it, asking him to make sure it is not "plugged in."  As Scarlet is checking for a pulse, his nurse comes back in, trying to keep another nurse out of the room while the doctor is in there.  She wants her turn at the body.  Jerr Koff leaves, after asking for their votes.

• What will happen now that Tripp has apparently murdered Wolfgang Offenschitz?
• How will Rajiv support his family now that he has lost his job at the Dead Parrot?
• Is it really Mayor Joe-Bob's body on the slab?
• Will we ever have any love stories in Solomon's River?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 24

In the latest installment of Solomon's River, we begin with Tripp using the Magnus Adverson suit to try to gain access to the Retreat, where Wolfgang Offenschitz is trying to attain inner peace, in an attempt to kill Offenschitz so that he can take the pressure off his mother, Angelica, who is trying to take the pressure off her boss, Carla Calivera, who is trying to turn over a new leaf, but must first kill Wolfgang for the mayor.  Tripp realizes he has no identification, which will complicate his attempt at passing himself off as Adverson.  He then runs into Wolfgang and tries to elicit his help.  One of the Brothers comes by to try and get Magnus/Tripp to leave Brother Offenschitz alone so he can meditate; Brother Chiliwang soon arrives as well and leads Magnus/Tripp out.

Meanwhile, at the Dead Parrot Bar, Rajiv is tending bar in Tripp's absence as some strangers come in.  Mrs. Rajiv storms in, demanding to know where her husband has been!  He explains to her what has happened to the coffee house.  A dude comes in and tells everyone about a pitchfork and torch party going on in town.  One of Rajiv's relatives from India arrives, offering to help him get back his coffee house.  Bob-Joe Solomon comes in during the confusion and offers one of the strangers $200 to get rid of a black bag he has outside in his pickup truck, without looking in it!

Across town at the former coffee house, the dance party continues!  Magnus gets caught up with his granddaughter, Samantha...he wants to know what happened to Cilantro.  Samantha thought she was in town all the time she was gone; she is looking for Mr. Ylung...she notes that Cilantro seems to have disappeared around the same time as Ylung!  As the dance party winds down (too many old people) a confused stranger wanders in - the man from the black bag!!!

• Will Tripp's devilish plot work?
• Will Wolfgang ever attain inner peace?
• Will Mrs Rajiv teach her husband not to give away large possessions while she's gone?
• What was Bob-Joe doing with a body bag?
• Will Cilantro return?  Is she with Mr. Ylung???

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 18

At the meditation center, Brother Chilliwang complains to a fellow brother that Brother Offenschitz has been disruptive, causing a food fight in the cafeteria.  As penance, Wolfgang has been sent to the Cave of Ultimate Silence to find his inner self.  In the Cave, Brother Offenschitz is visited by the ghost of Suzanne, the love of his life that Joe-Bob Solomon was responsible for killing.  Mayor Solomon arrives and steals the ghost and leaves Wolfgang alone in the Cave.

At Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett is worried about how to run the hospital without nurses, who are now out on strike.  Unfortunately, the scabs who've been hired to replace them are not working out very well.  Magnus comes in and wants to know why his half-brother Scarlett is not helping him discover why Magnus came to the hospital with blood on his hands.  Magnus offers to put Scarlett back in the will if he helps.  Dr. Scarlett suggests they talk to a detective.

Later, at the detective agency, Detective Smith is finishing a phone call when Magnus and Scarlett arrive to seek help.  Smith is excited that a mystery has shown up on the doorstep!  Scarlett tells Smith about the blood; Smith takes samples and sends them to the lab for analysis.  When questioned, Adverson remembers little about what happened since being tied up in Ylung's basement.  They all leave to find a TV Guide so they can determine the timing of events based on what Magnus was watching...either Matlock or Perry Mason.

At Rajiv's Coffee House, Jerry Koff, a candidate for Mayor, comes in to solicit Rajiv's vote.  A very enthusiastic man, Jer Koff spreads rumors about Mayor Solomon's activities in the park and his proclivity for hearing voices. 

Back outside the hospital, the striking nurses discuss amongst themselves what their demands are: more money, fewer hours, less blood and nicer bathrooms.  They also discuss that Jer Koff has promised to help the nurses get all their demands as long as they give him kickbacks and help with his campaign. They change their picket signs to read "Vote for that Jer Koff" and decide to bake "Jer Koff muffins."  We leave this episode of Solomon's River as the nurses are chanting, "Jer Koff Muffins!  Jer Koff Muffins!"

• Will Suzanne's ghost ever return to Wolfgang?
• Will we find out why Magnus has blood on his hands?
• Will Rajiv go for Jer Koff?
• Will the nurses get satisfied?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 16

At the Dead Canary, a local drunkard, Aaron, demands more whiskey as the bartender, Tripp, tries to get him to go home until finally giving in and serving him.  Detective Smith arrives, looking for anything suspicious.  Tripp informs Smith that the mayor has a brother that looks just like him.  Smith then grills him about all the local disappearances, indicating that the drunkard may well disappear next.  Asking Aaron about the No-Tell Motel (at which he works,) Smith finds out that the mayor likes little girls.  Bob-Joe Solomon arrives, still looking for his brother.  Smith asks him about his Joe-Bob's penchant for young ladies.  Bob-Joe admits that his brother the mayor is corrupt, and will get his comeuppance.

Magnus is still tied up in Ylung's basement; Ylung informs him that the "project" will have to wait, because Ylung has gotten a good gig suing Dr. Scarlett on behalf of Dr. Maroon.  A knock comes at the door; a cable guy arrives trying to sign Ylung up for cable. They come to an agreement as Ylung does his best to hide Magnus from him.  Adverson finally agrees to sign the new will, making the Magnus Mask Plan irrelevant.  The cable guy witnesses the signing of the will.

Meanwhile, just outside Ylung's house, three teenagers gather to break in and steal all the chemicals they heard were inside.  They follow the cable guy in  and find the Magnus mask and suit, which one of them proceeds to put on.

At a mediation center, Wolfgang Offenschitz is learning to let go of his anger.  Hawaiian pizza arrives and Master Chiliwang pays, then tell Brother Offenschitz that he has pain which he cannot release until he finds his inner demons.  Another brother arrives, asking about the pizza until Brother Offenschitz yells at them to quiet down, thereby delaying his discovery of the inner demons even further.

• Will Joe-Bob Solomon and Bob-Joe Solomon ever manage to meet up?
• Will Magnus Adverson get to see "Love Connection?"
• What will those teenagers do with a Magnus Adverson mask & suit?
• Will Brother Offenschitz get in touch with his inner demons?
• Who invented the Hawaiian pizza, and why?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 12

In last week's exciting episode of Solomon's River, Mr. Ylung, the lawyer, meets with Mayor Joe-Bob Solomon, complaining that the sheriff has been no help in finding the missing Samantha Solomon.  Mr. Ylung is also concerned that the rest of his law firm has gone to Calivera Industries and are now missing.  The mayor suggests he talk with the Mayoral Investigation Bureau (MIB.)

Later, in Rajiv's Coffee House, Sir Reginald Barkley, a blind author, arrives and asks Rajiv about lodging.  He wishes to write a book and has heard that Solomon's River is a quiet and peaceful town.  Rajiv recommends the Solomon's River Marriott (his cousin runs it.)  The Mayor enters, orders his usual, and introduces himself to Sir Reginald.  They talk briefly, then the author leaves. Detective Smith enters and asks about Sir Reginald.  Smith laughs, implying the writer is not who we think he is.  Mayor Solomon wants to talk with Rajiv about a proposal that could make him wealthy...he wants to meet in private, so he suggests a public park near his mansion.

Wolfgang Offenschitz meets with Frannie Mason to thank him and his brother for the work with Mayor Solomon's dog, but Frannie explains his brother is missing. Wolfgang make it clear he wishes to call off the hit on Mayor Solomon.

Later, in the public park, two teenage girls are using the teeter-totter (cherry bomb!)  They discuss, in young teenage fashion, learning about sex.  Mayor Solomon enters, asking why they are there; they sass back in typical teenage fashion.  Solomon wants to leave to find another park, but the teenage girls brag about stealing from Rajiv, then begin hitting on the mayor.  Fortunately, they leave before anything further can happen.

• Will Mr Ylung discover any leads to Samantha's whereabouts?
• What is Sir Reginald up to?
• What does Detective Smith know about the blind author?
• What does the mayor have to say to Rajiv that requires a private public park?
• Where is the other Mason brother?
• What is a "cherry bomb," and how does one get one?
• Will Mayor Solomon give in to the 13-year-old who say they are 21 and 25?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 11

We begin this week’s episode at Solomon’s River General Hospital with Dr. Scarlett losing a patient.  His nurse takes the body to the coolers, but returns to have the doctor invite her and her sister to his office later.  She leaves to continue her duties, and Agent Blakeley arrives.  Blakeley asks Dr. Scarlett about all the bodies in town…Scarlett tells him plenty of people die at Solomon’s River General Hospital.  He is interrupted by a Code Red in the emergency room. Scarlett must leave, so Blakeley arranges a meeting with the doctor in one week.

In the emergency room Scarlett finds his nurse crying over the body of her sister, telling him she collapsed.  The doctor prescribes 50 ccs of Ibunephertrol and a drippy bag.  Before the medication can be administered, however, Ellen, the sister, revives suddenly.  Seeing Ellen is fine, Dr. Scarlett leaves for his office.  The nurse, after a brief bout of forgetfulness regarding her sister’s name, lets her know that she was going to hook her up with the doctor.  Ellen is concerned with all the bodies she has heard about.  Her sister worries about Ellen since her husband ran away; she wants to find her a man. They decide that perhaps battery-operated is the way to go for a while.

Wolfgang Offenschitz, the mayor’s very unhappy neighbor, calls Agent Blakeley to let him know he would need to talk with him today, or not at all. He plans on joining a monastery; the guilt and anger over his vendetta against the mayor are eating him up inside.  Blakeley tells him to come over.

Later, when Offenschitz arrives, Blakeley shows his concern for all the bodies in town, but Wolfgang is concerned with all the dog poop.  Admitting that the mayor is actually a pretty good guy, Offenschitz offers to team up with Blakeley, but is interrupted when a burning bag of dog poop is left on the doorstep for Blakeley to stamp out.  Wolfgang smells the remnants; it was the mayor’s dog.

• Will Dr. Scarlett hook up with the nurse and her sister?
• Will anyone every discover where all the bodies are coming from?
• Will Agent Blakeley ever find out something useful?
• Will Wolfgang Offenschitz join a monastery, or will he complete his vendetta against the mayor?
• Will Agent Blakeley ever get all that stuff off the bottom of his shoe?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!