Episode 31

As this week's episode opens, we find Tripp talking with his mother, Angelica, explaining how he is now using the newly amnesiac Carla/Oscar to clean the porch and wash his car.  Angelica seems intrigued by the thought that Carla/Oscar will do whatever you tell her to, as long as you call her Oscar Steppenwolf ("Like your Padre," observes Angelica.) 

Meanwhile, across town at the Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett and his nurse discuss Mr. Ylung's progress after the operation.  The nurse points out something interesting on Mr. Ylung; someone has stitched a message on his scar!  Just then, Joe-Bob Solomon arrives and punches the nurse!

Later at Rajiv's, Magnus Adverson comes in and orders some rhubarb pie.  Magnus asks if Rajiv has seen his granddaughters, then leaves the coffee house.

At the mayor's house, there is a knock at the door...it is Herr Offenschitz, Wolfgang's father!  Herr Offenschitz is looking for his son and wants to know if Joe-Bob, his neighbor, knows where he is.  Herr Offenschitz needs to find his son and give him some important news!  Suzanne, the ghost child from Joe-Bob Solomon's past, reappears after being away for so long...she wants Joe-Bob to find out what the important news is.  Herr Offenschitz knows the last place his son was seen was at the Retreat (even though Germans don't know that word;) he tells the mayor that he will be moving in next door until his son is found.  As they say goodbye, Joe-Bob punches Herr Offenschitz in the face!

• Will Angelica find a use for Carla/Oscar?
• Did Mr. Ylung survive the removal of his tumor without complications?
• Will Magnus enjoy his rhubarb pie?
• What is the important news Herr Offenschitz has for his son?
• Will Herr Offenschitz be upset when he discovers his son has been brutally murdered at the Retreat?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 18

At the meditation center, Brother Chilliwang complains to a fellow brother that Brother Offenschitz has been disruptive, causing a food fight in the cafeteria.  As penance, Wolfgang has been sent to the Cave of Ultimate Silence to find his inner self.  In the Cave, Brother Offenschitz is visited by the ghost of Suzanne, the love of his life that Joe-Bob Solomon was responsible for killing.  Mayor Solomon arrives and steals the ghost and leaves Wolfgang alone in the Cave.

At Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett is worried about how to run the hospital without nurses, who are now out on strike.  Unfortunately, the scabs who've been hired to replace them are not working out very well.  Magnus comes in and wants to know why his half-brother Scarlett is not helping him discover why Magnus came to the hospital with blood on his hands.  Magnus offers to put Scarlett back in the will if he helps.  Dr. Scarlett suggests they talk to a detective.

Later, at the detective agency, Detective Smith is finishing a phone call when Magnus and Scarlett arrive to seek help.  Smith is excited that a mystery has shown up on the doorstep!  Scarlett tells Smith about the blood; Smith takes samples and sends them to the lab for analysis.  When questioned, Adverson remembers little about what happened since being tied up in Ylung's basement.  They all leave to find a TV Guide so they can determine the timing of events based on what Magnus was watching...either Matlock or Perry Mason.

At Rajiv's Coffee House, Jerry Koff, a candidate for Mayor, comes in to solicit Rajiv's vote.  A very enthusiastic man, Jer Koff spreads rumors about Mayor Solomon's activities in the park and his proclivity for hearing voices. 

Back outside the hospital, the striking nurses discuss amongst themselves what their demands are: more money, fewer hours, less blood and nicer bathrooms.  They also discuss that Jer Koff has promised to help the nurses get all their demands as long as they give him kickbacks and help with his campaign. They change their picket signs to read "Vote for that Jer Koff" and decide to bake "Jer Koff muffins."  We leave this episode of Solomon's River as the nurses are chanting, "Jer Koff Muffins!  Jer Koff Muffins!"

• Will Suzanne's ghost ever return to Wolfgang?
• Will we find out why Magnus has blood on his hands?
• Will Rajiv go for Jer Koff?
• Will the nurses get satisfied?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 9

In this week’s hair-raising episode of Solomon’s River, we begin in Rajiv’s Coffee House as the mysterious Janice White shows up behind the counter looking for coffee and information.  Mayor Solomon arrives, ordering his usual Mr. Pibb and introduces himself to Janice (who introduces herself as Janice Purple!) Janice tells the mayor she is visiting for the day and inquires about the haze at the end of town, trying to determine if it’s from the mines. She then starts pumping the mayor for information regarding her friend, Samantha, who has been missing from Solomon’s River for some time now. The mayor denies any knowledge, but vows to bring down Calivera Enterprises (which, oddly enough, Janice defends vehemently!)

Meanwhile, at Calivera Enterprises, Carla’s assistant Angelica informs her that she has disposed of the latest body, but warns her that the cloud is beginning to be noticed in town.  Carla worries about a visit from the EPA, as well as the newspaper stories (which are being fed by a mysterious informant!)  As Angelica’s minion drags another body out, the police chief calls Carla, having developed a mysterious accent.  Carla tries to brush off the Chief, telling her to talk to Angelica.  Angelica is ordered to “redirect” the Chief’s investigation.

The Chief arrives to talk to talk to Angelica about the body being dragged through the coffee shop when they are interrupted by one of the Mason Brothers, looking for direction on what to do with the body.  After deciding he should chop it up, he exits.  Angelica denies that there are any bodies as her minion comes in to inform her there is no more coal for the furnaces.  Janice pops in to tell the Chief that the bodies are being used in the medical college.  Carla returns as Janice gives Angelica an envelope for her boss.  Carla opens it after Janice leaves and finds a note which says, “I know what you’ve been doing!”  Carla is determined to find out who Janice is, and what she is up to.

Mayor Joe-Bob is looking through the file on Suzanne (his dead childhood friend) as his investigator, Agent Blakeley, arrives to report on Calivera Enterprises.  Blakeley reports on the body being dragged out, but the mayor has difficulty understanding him and sends him away.  Janice then comes into his office with information.  She has been to Calivera and tells him they are hacking up bodies and creating a mysterious fog.  Still she searches for Samantha…

As Janice leaves, one of the Mason Brothers shows up (instructed by the mayor’s unhappy neighbor) to deliver the mayor’s dog’s head.  Suzanne’s ghost appears to torment the mayor for letting her die, saying he deserves this.  Just then, the mayor finds something in the file…”Oh my God, it was him!”

•  Will Janice discover the whereabouts of Samantha?
• Will the Chief of Police find out what's going on at Calivera Industries?
• Will Carla be visited by the EPA? Will OSHA make her install handrails in the restrooms?
• Will Agent Blakeley make himself understood to the mayor?
• Will Suzanne's ghost ever stop haunting the mayor?
• Who is the mysterious "Him?!"

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 8

As this week's episode of Solomon's River begins, we find Mr. Ylung (of the firm Tsmith, Thompson, Richards & Ylung) visiting the Chief of Police to file a missing person's report for Magnus Advarsson's granddaughter, Samantha, but he is sent away; the Chief is tired of Ylung's frequent visits.  Mayor Solomon arrives to see if the Chief could do him a favor and look into "Suzanne Balmer," who died some 29 years ago; he would like to know who were her friends and acquaintances.  Mayor Solomon is handed her file, which he takes with him after being served coffee by the Chief's persistent assistant.

At Rajiv's Coffee House, Agent Blakeley of the MIB (Mayoral Investigation Bureau) comes in and orders a Dr. Pibb (or was it a Mr. Pepper?)  Mayor Solomon enters, introduces himself to Blakeley and questions the MIB agent regarding his investigation.

Later, at the police station, Agent Blakelee enters and is served laxative-free coffee by the Chief's assistant.  The agent has heard about the bodies in town, and is interested in knowing more.  He leaves soon after, at which point the mail arrives with a missing person's notice, which is news to the Chief.

• Will Mr. Ylung get the Chief of Police to listen to him about Samantha's disappearance?
• What will Mayor Solomon discover in Suzanne's file?
• Will Detective Smith get over the fact that there is a new investigator in town?
• Is Agent Blakely investigating the mayor, or investigating for the mayor?
• Why does the Chief of police occasionally serve coffee with laxative in it?
• Who is on the missing person's poster?

  Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 7

We begin this week's episode of Solomon's River with Mayor Joe-Bob Solomon stopping in to speak with Rajiv at the Coffee House.  The mayor is questioning Rajiv about Magnus Advarsson's attempted murder, but Rajiv is less than helpful; Joe-Bob leaves, having gained no useful information.

Detective Smith encounters Cilantro in a public restroom, first confronting her about Samantha's love for Mr. Ylung, the lawyer, and then about Cilantro's supposed pregnancy.  Cilantro is unsure of her "status," so Det. Smith whips out a pregnancy test kit and has Cilantro pee on the stick.

Meanwhile, Mayor Solomon is walking his dog Sparky when the ghost of Suzanne returns and tortures him with the tale of her horrible and crushing death. Suzanne then tells Joe-Bob he must "make it up to the little boy who was in love with me."

Back in the public restroom, Cilantro is shaking the pee stick, trying to speed things up.  "Don't shake it like a Polaroid!" Det. Smith admonishes as they look at the results...was it a blue line?  Was it a pale pink line?  No...it was a black line!!!  Both are shaken, and Smith pumps Cilantro for information...has she been experiencing periods of memory loss, unexplained cuts & bruises, perhaps an odd tattoo on the back of her neck?

Across town the mayor's neighbor is meeting with one of the Mason brothers regarding the plot against the mayor, when the not-so-long lost brother returns, giving no concrete explanation for his mysterious disappearance.  The neighbor wants it "done fast!" and the Mason brothers promise to "step it up," perhaps by kidnapping the dog and sending the mayor a paw.  The neighbor seems satisfied with the plan as he tells them to "make it happen!"

Dr. Scarlett is visited in his office by Mr. Ylung, the lawyer.  He warns Scarlett that he must give up his claim to the family fortune or else Ylung will blab about "the bastard child."  Scarlett is obviously shaken.

Magnus Advarsson, not one to pass up the opportunity to enter a restroom, enters the restroom and finds Det. Smith, who helps Magnus find his lost wallet. Once the detective leaves, Magnus clutches his chest and falls to the floor.

• What does Cilantro's "black line" mean?  Will she discover why she is having memory lapses?
• Will Mayor Solomon figure out who was the little boy in love with Suzanne?
• Will the Mason brothers do nasty things to the mayor's dog?
• Who is Scarlett's "bastard child?"
• Will Magnus survive this apparent cardiac event?
• Will he seek help for his overactive bladder?

 Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 6

As we start off the latest episode of Solomon's River, we find Mayor Solomon talking with his very unhappy neighbor, who is asking if the mayor remembers him...the mayor does not.  In an attempt to unlock the secrets in his lost memories, Mayor Solomon calls Marilyn's Hypnosis to make an appointment.  When he arrives, Marilyn places him in a hypnotic trance.

In his trance, we discover that when Joe-Bob was 6, Suzanne, a girl he knew, died when his 400 pound Aunt Bertha fell on her.  In order to save the family from scandal, Joe-Bob's father covered up the death.

In Rajiv's Coffee House, one of the Mason Brothers enters, orders several Mr. Pibbs, and hints that something may have happened to his brother.  Magnus Advarsson arrives, threatening to sue Rajiv over the teabagging incident.  Soon a Health Inspector arrives to investigate, but finds nothing out of the ordinary, although Detective Smith was hiding in the wall, attempting to discover nefarious deeds.

Later, as the mayor is walking his dog Sparky, the ghost of Suzanne appears, implying he would be haunted until he works out his culpability in her death.

Detective Smith and the EMT meet - he knows who is responsible for teabagging Adverson...the EMT claims he heard Adverson say that "the lawyer would never get his money," thus implicating Mr. Ylung.

• Will Mayor Solomon remember what really happened to Suzanne?
• Will the Mason Brothers be reunited?
• Will the Very Unhappy Neighbor ever reveal his name?
• Will Detective Smith be able to prove Mr. Ylung's guilt?
• Will we discover a connection between the neighbor's hatred of the mayor and the death of Suzanne?
• Will Rajiv switch from Mr. Pibb to Dr. Pepper?

 Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!