Episode 19

At Rajiv's Coffee House, Rajiv is first surprised by finding a baby under the counter, then by Detective Smith, who orders a "celebratory cup o' joe."  Finally he has found a mystery in Solomon's River which needs solving; the mystery of the blood on Magnus' hands!  Magnus Adverson comes into the coffee shop and hangs around for no apparent reason until an actress enters.  She implies that she is Julia Roberts, but then claims she is Dolly Parton. Someone from the film crew runs in to tell  Julia that there has been a horrible accident on the film set!  After burning Julia's face with a cup of scalding hot coffee, Rajiv hands off the baby to an as-yet unidentified Indian man who has suddenly appeared. Rajiv then makes a run for it.

Elsewhere, Jer Koff is meeting with Dr. Scarlett to check on when the next sacrifice is scheduled.  Jer informs Scarlett that he received an offer of a sizable donation from Wolfgang Offenschitz if he "takes care of Mayor Joe-Bob."  Jer Koff asks if it would be possible to sacrifice the mayor; Scarlett replies that he would prefer a female virgin, but is willing to make an exception this time.  There is a knock at the door...it is a mysterious package being delivered from the Kentucky Candle Company. Scarlett tell Jer to take it down to the Caverns.

At the Solomon's River Marriott, we find the mysterious wealthy woman calling for her butler, Jeeves, who is uncharacteristically slow in answering.  She is tired of being cooped up in the hotel...she is anxious to find Magnus Adverson who, coincidentally enough, has just arrived at her door.  He is invited in and is shown in to see Edith (the wealthy woman.)  They embrace.  It's been 40 years since they've seen each other; they were separated after a firefight...she pulled one of the German's bodies over her and stayed there for a week, at which time she ate her way out.  She shocks Magnus with the news that they have had a child together.  Coincidentally once again, a woman, Magneta, enters the room.  Edith introduces Magnus to their daughter...

• Will Julia get to finish her film?
• Will Det Smith find out why Magnus had blood on his hands?
• Will Dr Scarlett and Jer Koff be able to find a mutually agreeable date for their next sacrifice?
• What will Magnus have to say to his newly-found daughter?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 18

At the meditation center, Brother Chilliwang complains to a fellow brother that Brother Offenschitz has been disruptive, causing a food fight in the cafeteria.  As penance, Wolfgang has been sent to the Cave of Ultimate Silence to find his inner self.  In the Cave, Brother Offenschitz is visited by the ghost of Suzanne, the love of his life that Joe-Bob Solomon was responsible for killing.  Mayor Solomon arrives and steals the ghost and leaves Wolfgang alone in the Cave.

At Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett is worried about how to run the hospital without nurses, who are now out on strike.  Unfortunately, the scabs who've been hired to replace them are not working out very well.  Magnus comes in and wants to know why his half-brother Scarlett is not helping him discover why Magnus came to the hospital with blood on his hands.  Magnus offers to put Scarlett back in the will if he helps.  Dr. Scarlett suggests they talk to a detective.

Later, at the detective agency, Detective Smith is finishing a phone call when Magnus and Scarlett arrive to seek help.  Smith is excited that a mystery has shown up on the doorstep!  Scarlett tells Smith about the blood; Smith takes samples and sends them to the lab for analysis.  When questioned, Adverson remembers little about what happened since being tied up in Ylung's basement.  They all leave to find a TV Guide so they can determine the timing of events based on what Magnus was watching...either Matlock or Perry Mason.

At Rajiv's Coffee House, Jerry Koff, a candidate for Mayor, comes in to solicit Rajiv's vote.  A very enthusiastic man, Jer Koff spreads rumors about Mayor Solomon's activities in the park and his proclivity for hearing voices. 

Back outside the hospital, the striking nurses discuss amongst themselves what their demands are: more money, fewer hours, less blood and nicer bathrooms.  They also discuss that Jer Koff has promised to help the nurses get all their demands as long as they give him kickbacks and help with his campaign. They change their picket signs to read "Vote for that Jer Koff" and decide to bake "Jer Koff muffins."  We leave this episode of Solomon's River as the nurses are chanting, "Jer Koff Muffins!  Jer Koff Muffins!"

• Will Suzanne's ghost ever return to Wolfgang?
• Will we find out why Magnus has blood on his hands?
• Will Rajiv go for Jer Koff?
• Will the nurses get satisfied?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 16

At the Dead Canary, a local drunkard, Aaron, demands more whiskey as the bartender, Tripp, tries to get him to go home until finally giving in and serving him.  Detective Smith arrives, looking for anything suspicious.  Tripp informs Smith that the mayor has a brother that looks just like him.  Smith then grills him about all the local disappearances, indicating that the drunkard may well disappear next.  Asking Aaron about the No-Tell Motel (at which he works,) Smith finds out that the mayor likes little girls.  Bob-Joe Solomon arrives, still looking for his brother.  Smith asks him about his Joe-Bob's penchant for young ladies.  Bob-Joe admits that his brother the mayor is corrupt, and will get his comeuppance.

Magnus is still tied up in Ylung's basement; Ylung informs him that the "project" will have to wait, because Ylung has gotten a good gig suing Dr. Scarlett on behalf of Dr. Maroon.  A knock comes at the door; a cable guy arrives trying to sign Ylung up for cable. They come to an agreement as Ylung does his best to hide Magnus from him.  Adverson finally agrees to sign the new will, making the Magnus Mask Plan irrelevant.  The cable guy witnesses the signing of the will.

Meanwhile, just outside Ylung's house, three teenagers gather to break in and steal all the chemicals they heard were inside.  They follow the cable guy in  and find the Magnus mask and suit, which one of them proceeds to put on.

At a mediation center, Wolfgang Offenschitz is learning to let go of his anger.  Hawaiian pizza arrives and Master Chiliwang pays, then tell Brother Offenschitz that he has pain which he cannot release until he finds his inner demons.  Another brother arrives, asking about the pizza until Brother Offenschitz yells at them to quiet down, thereby delaying his discovery of the inner demons even further.

• Will Joe-Bob Solomon and Bob-Joe Solomon ever manage to meet up?
• Will Magnus Adverson get to see "Love Connection?"
• What will those teenagers do with a Magnus Adverson mask & suit?
• Will Brother Offenschitz get in touch with his inner demons?
• Who invented the Hawaiian pizza, and why?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 12

In last week's exciting episode of Solomon's River, Mr. Ylung, the lawyer, meets with Mayor Joe-Bob Solomon, complaining that the sheriff has been no help in finding the missing Samantha Solomon.  Mr. Ylung is also concerned that the rest of his law firm has gone to Calivera Industries and are now missing.  The mayor suggests he talk with the Mayoral Investigation Bureau (MIB.)

Later, in Rajiv's Coffee House, Sir Reginald Barkley, a blind author, arrives and asks Rajiv about lodging.  He wishes to write a book and has heard that Solomon's River is a quiet and peaceful town.  Rajiv recommends the Solomon's River Marriott (his cousin runs it.)  The Mayor enters, orders his usual, and introduces himself to Sir Reginald.  They talk briefly, then the author leaves. Detective Smith enters and asks about Sir Reginald.  Smith laughs, implying the writer is not who we think he is.  Mayor Solomon wants to talk with Rajiv about a proposal that could make him wealthy...he wants to meet in private, so he suggests a public park near his mansion.

Wolfgang Offenschitz meets with Frannie Mason to thank him and his brother for the work with Mayor Solomon's dog, but Frannie explains his brother is missing. Wolfgang make it clear he wishes to call off the hit on Mayor Solomon.

Later, in the public park, two teenage girls are using the teeter-totter (cherry bomb!)  They discuss, in young teenage fashion, learning about sex.  Mayor Solomon enters, asking why they are there; they sass back in typical teenage fashion.  Solomon wants to leave to find another park, but the teenage girls brag about stealing from Rajiv, then begin hitting on the mayor.  Fortunately, they leave before anything further can happen.

• Will Mr Ylung discover any leads to Samantha's whereabouts?
• What is Sir Reginald up to?
• What does Detective Smith know about the blind author?
• What does the mayor have to say to Rajiv that requires a private public park?
• Where is the other Mason brother?
• What is a "cherry bomb," and how does one get one?
• Will Mayor Solomon give in to the 13-year-old who say they are 21 and 25?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Epsiode 10

It begins as a quiet day in Rajiv's Coffee House, but soon escalates as the mayor's unhappy neighbor arrives, ordering a Mr. Pibb and pie.  Detective Smith, once again hidden in the wall behind the counter, hears Mayor Solomon come in.  The neighbor, already having confessed to Rajiv that he may have regrets over putting out a hit on the mayor, throws his drink in Joe-Bob's face, and leaves.

Carla Calivera enters, confronting Mayor Joe-Bob as to why he is trying to "bring her down." As they argue, Rick Simpson, the health inspector, sees Det. Smith in the wall and they chat briefly.  Once the health inspector comes out of the wall and tells Rajiv that he must conduct a more thorough inspection, Rajiv attempts to bribe him by dropping a twenty on the floor.  Fortunately for Rajiv, Mr. Simpson sees Carla and moves to talk with her.

The health inspector informs Carla that he'd like to get into Calivera Industries to perform an inspection, something his department has been trying to do for some time, with no success.  As they banter, Rajiv must deal with an alcoholic who has entered the coffee shop, thinking it to be a bar.  Fortunately Rajiv always keeps a bottle of single-malt whiskey behind the counter for just such an emergency.

Det. Smith comes out from the wall to speak with the health inspector, trying to tell him there's more going on here than meets the eye, but all the inspector seems concerned with is whether or not Rajiv has the appropriate signage in the bathrooms.  Rajiv becomes upset because no one is actually buying anything.  Det. Smith retires back into the wall.

The drunk identifies himself as Cliff Shale, from the EPA.  He wants to speak to someone about the mines, so Rajiv directs him to the Mason Brothers.  The Mason Brothers are busy dealing with a body backlog, bricking them into a wall.  Carla visits and warns them they must work overtime because the odor is now reaching to the village.  Mayor Solomon sneaks in and take a picture of them hiding the bodies.  Carla tries to silence the mayor by making it worth the his while; she leaves with the mayor.

Later, Detective Smith meets with Cliff Shale.  It turns out he is undercover, working with Smith.  They spend some time bad-mouthing Rajiv's, then Smith instructs Shale to get on the good side of Calivera and get into the mines.

Rick Simpson is talking with his boss on the phone, concerned about the people in Rajiv's.  He also voices his concerns with Calivera Industries wondering why she is so reluctant about letting him in.

• Will the unhappy neighbor feel sorry for putting out a hit on the mayor?
• What exactly does Calivera Industries manufacture?  Is it cotton candy, as the mayor seems to think, or is he just addled as usual?
• Will Inspector Simpson get in to inspect Calivera Industries?  If so, what will he find?
• Will Detective Smith spend even more time in Rajiv's wall?
• Will anyone pay for anything at Rajiv's?
• What is Mayor Solomon planning on doing with Carla?
• Will we ever see Magnus Adverson and his family again?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 8

As this week's episode of Solomon's River begins, we find Mr. Ylung (of the firm Tsmith, Thompson, Richards & Ylung) visiting the Chief of Police to file a missing person's report for Magnus Advarsson's granddaughter, Samantha, but he is sent away; the Chief is tired of Ylung's frequent visits.  Mayor Solomon arrives to see if the Chief could do him a favor and look into "Suzanne Balmer," who died some 29 years ago; he would like to know who were her friends and acquaintances.  Mayor Solomon is handed her file, which he takes with him after being served coffee by the Chief's persistent assistant.

At Rajiv's Coffee House, Agent Blakeley of the MIB (Mayoral Investigation Bureau) comes in and orders a Dr. Pibb (or was it a Mr. Pepper?)  Mayor Solomon enters, introduces himself to Blakeley and questions the MIB agent regarding his investigation.

Later, at the police station, Agent Blakelee enters and is served laxative-free coffee by the Chief's assistant.  The agent has heard about the bodies in town, and is interested in knowing more.  He leaves soon after, at which point the mail arrives with a missing person's notice, which is news to the Chief.

• Will Mr. Ylung get the Chief of Police to listen to him about Samantha's disappearance?
• What will Mayor Solomon discover in Suzanne's file?
• Will Detective Smith get over the fact that there is a new investigator in town?
• Is Agent Blakely investigating the mayor, or investigating for the mayor?
• Why does the Chief of police occasionally serve coffee with laxative in it?
• Who is on the missing person's poster?

  Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 7

We begin this week's episode of Solomon's River with Mayor Joe-Bob Solomon stopping in to speak with Rajiv at the Coffee House.  The mayor is questioning Rajiv about Magnus Advarsson's attempted murder, but Rajiv is less than helpful; Joe-Bob leaves, having gained no useful information.

Detective Smith encounters Cilantro in a public restroom, first confronting her about Samantha's love for Mr. Ylung, the lawyer, and then about Cilantro's supposed pregnancy.  Cilantro is unsure of her "status," so Det. Smith whips out a pregnancy test kit and has Cilantro pee on the stick.

Meanwhile, Mayor Solomon is walking his dog Sparky when the ghost of Suzanne returns and tortures him with the tale of her horrible and crushing death. Suzanne then tells Joe-Bob he must "make it up to the little boy who was in love with me."

Back in the public restroom, Cilantro is shaking the pee stick, trying to speed things up.  "Don't shake it like a Polaroid!" Det. Smith admonishes as they look at the results...was it a blue line?  Was it a pale pink line?  No...it was a black line!!!  Both are shaken, and Smith pumps Cilantro for information...has she been experiencing periods of memory loss, unexplained cuts & bruises, perhaps an odd tattoo on the back of her neck?

Across town the mayor's neighbor is meeting with one of the Mason brothers regarding the plot against the mayor, when the not-so-long lost brother returns, giving no concrete explanation for his mysterious disappearance.  The neighbor wants it "done fast!" and the Mason brothers promise to "step it up," perhaps by kidnapping the dog and sending the mayor a paw.  The neighbor seems satisfied with the plan as he tells them to "make it happen!"

Dr. Scarlett is visited in his office by Mr. Ylung, the lawyer.  He warns Scarlett that he must give up his claim to the family fortune or else Ylung will blab about "the bastard child."  Scarlett is obviously shaken.

Magnus Advarsson, not one to pass up the opportunity to enter a restroom, enters the restroom and finds Det. Smith, who helps Magnus find his lost wallet. Once the detective leaves, Magnus clutches his chest and falls to the floor.

• What does Cilantro's "black line" mean?  Will she discover why she is having memory lapses?
• Will Mayor Solomon figure out who was the little boy in love with Suzanne?
• Will the Mason brothers do nasty things to the mayor's dog?
• Who is Scarlett's "bastard child?"
• Will Magnus survive this apparent cardiac event?
• Will he seek help for his overactive bladder?

 Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 6

As we start off the latest episode of Solomon's River, we find Mayor Solomon talking with his very unhappy neighbor, who is asking if the mayor remembers him...the mayor does not.  In an attempt to unlock the secrets in his lost memories, Mayor Solomon calls Marilyn's Hypnosis to make an appointment.  When he arrives, Marilyn places him in a hypnotic trance.

In his trance, we discover that when Joe-Bob was 6, Suzanne, a girl he knew, died when his 400 pound Aunt Bertha fell on her.  In order to save the family from scandal, Joe-Bob's father covered up the death.

In Rajiv's Coffee House, one of the Mason Brothers enters, orders several Mr. Pibbs, and hints that something may have happened to his brother.  Magnus Advarsson arrives, threatening to sue Rajiv over the teabagging incident.  Soon a Health Inspector arrives to investigate, but finds nothing out of the ordinary, although Detective Smith was hiding in the wall, attempting to discover nefarious deeds.

Later, as the mayor is walking his dog Sparky, the ghost of Suzanne appears, implying he would be haunted until he works out his culpability in her death.

Detective Smith and the EMT meet - he knows who is responsible for teabagging Adverson...the EMT claims he heard Adverson say that "the lawyer would never get his money," thus implicating Mr. Ylung.

• Will Mayor Solomon remember what really happened to Suzanne?
• Will the Mason Brothers be reunited?
• Will the Very Unhappy Neighbor ever reveal his name?
• Will Detective Smith be able to prove Mr. Ylung's guilt?
• Will we discover a connection between the neighbor's hatred of the mayor and the death of Suzanne?
• Will Rajiv switch from Mr. Pibb to Dr. Pepper?

 Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 4

Detective Smith's brother Paul has left town, and we find ourselves looking in on Mr. Ylung, the dashing young lawyer, seated with Samantha, Magnus Advarsson's granddaughter, in Solomon General Hospital.  They are having an awkward conversation regarding a pregnancy test; Samantha, however, seems a bit confused about the whole subject.  They cannot resolve the issue before the EMT comes in to inform them that Magnus had checked himself out earlier that morning, much to their surprise.

Later that day, at Rajiv's Coffee House, the EMT is trying to find out from Rajiv whether or not anyone has been asking about the EMT's involvement in Magnus' health crisis.  At that very moment Magnus arrives, looking for a restroom; he doesn't recognize the EMT, nor even fully remember that there was an attempt on his life!  Magnus wanders off, and shortly thereafter a woman arrives, claiming to be Magnus' mistress and asking that they deliver a message to him that she will "be at the motel."

During the conversation, Det. Smith has been busily drilling holes in Rajiv's cafe walls, trying desperately to hear something incriminating in the ongoing conversations. Failing to hear anything useful, she returns to her office and has a mysterious phone conversation, after which she leaves.  The EMT enters soon after looking to speak with her, but she is gone!

At the Notell Motel the mistress is talking with the clerk when Magnus arrives.  She greets him, assuming he is there for their rendezvous, but he doesn't recognize her, and insists he is there to use the bathroom.

• Is Samantha pregnant, or is it really her identical twin sister Cilantro?
• Will Det. Smith ever find anything incriminating in Solomon's River?
• Will Magnus' mistress ever get her groove on?
• Will Magnus find a suitable place to empty his bladder?

 Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 3

As our episode begins, we find Magnus Advarsson, heir to the Solomon’s River Mines, collapsed on the floor of Rajiv’s Coffee House, his condition unknown. An EMT arrives, taking Magnus out to the ambulance, only to discover he has been teabagged; two teabags crammed into his throat in an effort to choke him to death!

Det. Smith’s brother Paul arrives in town unexpectedly and tells everyone she is not a detective; she just read a lot of Nancy Drew books as a child.

We find Magnus alive in the hospital as Father Flanigan takes confessions in the church.  The EMT confesses that, for an as yet unknown reason, he in fact lied about Magnus; in fact, the EMT is trying to frame someone else for teabagging Magnus.  Paul also confesses that he is sorry about trying to ruin his sister’s life, only to discover Fr. Flanigan has left the confessional and he is, in fact, talking to his sister, who promptly forgives him as they share a hug through the confessional window.

• Why is the EMT trying to frame someone for the attempted murder of Magnus Advarsson?
• Why is Paul being such a jerk?
• Why did Fr. Flanigan leave the confessional in mid-confession?
• Where is Rajiv?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 2

As Magnus Advarsson is talking with his lawyer, Mr. Ylung, about changing his will, his granddaughters have arrived, trying to talk him out of it.  Before they get far, Samantha is smitten with Mr. Ylung, and her twin sister Cilantro is furiously jealous.

Dr. Scarlett has left the healthcare facility and shows up to talk in private with his brother who, in his demented condition, does not recognize his own flesh and blood.  Magnus leaves to visit his favorite café, Rajiv’s Coffee House.

Det. Smith finds Magnus at Rajiv’s and begins to question him; Advarsson has an episode and collapses just as his granddaughters arrive.

• Will Mr. Ylung fall for Samantha?
• Will Dr. Scarlett get his brother to remember him?
• Will Det. Smith get to finish questioning Adverson?
• Is Magnus still alive?
• Will Rajiv manage to sell any rhubarb pie?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 1

Magnus Advarsson, an elderly and rather addled curmudgeon, is heir to the Solomon’s River Mine fortune.  His granddaughters, Samantha and Cilantro, learn about his fortune from a mysterious stranger who drifts into town.  Hitman Johnny Tess, from Chicago, offers to “help” with their problem of getting rid of Magnus.

Dr. Scarlett, Magnus’ brother, is in a healthcare facility.  His nurse knows he’s also heir to the fortune, but tells him in order to claim his fortune he must be of sound mind, and must marry.

Detective Smith, recently moved to Solomon’s River, snoops about, looking for suspicious activity in town.

Magnus visits his lawyer, Mr. Ylung, in order to have his will changed.  Samantha and Cilantro arrive to intervene.

• Will Magnus change his will?
• Will Samantha and Cilantro have him killed?
• Will Dr. Scarlett claim his fortune?
• Will Det. Smith find any ne’re-do-wells?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!