Episode 126

Rajiv managed not only to avoid the shuffling zombies chasing him in the caverns, but he also found Lakshmi.  Before they work together to escape, she makes Rajiv declare her a free woman, and he makes Lakshmi proclaim her love for him.  They pinkie swear on it.  He promises to have his wife declared dead.

Frieda and Greta invite others to their witch lynch party and they decide to combine it with the upcoming holidays and make it a Christmas lynching.  John is in charge of the food, twins Timmy and Tommy choose the Christmas/lynching carol list, and someone else is in charge of the garland, which will be used to string up the witches.  Frieda and Greta tell everyone to meet back with their goodies, and then they'll lynch the Queen of the Witches.

Sally is with McShane and she is worried for the freshly lost-in-the-forest Tommy.  McShane suggests they search together, which Sally remembers is what got them all lost in the first place.  She brilliantly suggests a rope, so they don't get separated.  Not-brilliantly, she gives the entire rope to McShane.  After they leave for the forest, Tommy arrives to find they are gone.

Angelica sneaks into Uber Minion's room to gather the ingredients which Big Momma, aka Queen of the Witches, needs to cast a spell on the plotting Uber.  Angelica manages toenail clippings and a spare toupee before Uber returns and discovers her.  She takes the opportunity to cut off one of his ears and take an eye.  He promises to kill her someday.  She has forgotten to get an eyelash.

John comes home to rope his mother into making cookies for their Christmas lynching party.  His alcoholic father lurks in the background, and John has trouble reading the recipe.

Meanwhile, at Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett asks Nurse where all the other nurses are and she explains the NurseNudist-etc-Nado.  Nurse leaves with the nurse roster to find them.  After she leaves, McShane confronts Dr. Scarlett and announces his intention to kill him to avenge Tommy and Sally's baby.  Dr. Scarlett explains that Sally was never pregnant because there is a need for intercourse before there can be a baby.

With McShane at the hospital, Sally is all alone in the middle of the forest.  Two rubes, Bartholomew and Cletus, offer to help the crying woman and invite her back to their shack in the woods.  She goes...

• Will Rajiv and Lakshmi keep their promises to love and honor?  What will Mrs. Rajiv do when she discovers she has been declared dead?
• Will Big Momma's spell work without an eyelash?  What will Uber Minion do without depth perception or a spare toupee?
• Can Big Momma cast her spell and keep the witches safe against the impending lynch mob?
• Can John's Christmas lynching cookies possibly come out okay?
• Will Nurse find the other tossed-about nurses?
• Is McShane satisfied with Dr. Scarlett's explanation of how babies are made?
• What will become of Sally?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 120

Rajiv is visited by Magnus Aversson, the extraordinarily old, rich patriarch of Solomon's River who doesn't quite remember what he's been up to, except that he "came to in a forest".  Slowly, Magnus remembers that he has children and likes rhubarb pie.

Meanwhile, Angelica the sub-minion visits her secret place in the woods where she kept the only joy in her life, her "boy toy".  She had whacked him on the head and gave him pills so he didn't wake up, but he's gone!  Angelica follows his trail.  Unbeknownst to her, her rival minion has been spying on her and reports Angelica's secret to Mistress Evil.  Mistress Evil doesn't seem to remember Angelica, and the head minion thinks this may be his chance to take out his boss!  He attempts strangulation, then a blow to the head, but Mistress is nonplussed.  He leaves to continue minion work and spying.

Magnus Aversson is making the rounds and visits Solomon's River Hospital.  He reports having an erection that has lasted more than four hours and wonders if someone drugged him.  Dr. Scarlett says he can't help Magnus as he's not a "gynecologist for men".  Just then, Nurse returns, wearing only a poor shift from the Healing Woman in the woods after falling from the NurseNudistNeoNaziNarcanonaNado.  Nurse assures Magnus she can help.  Dr. Scarlett will assist.

In the land of the Merpeople, the Mer-King and his family gather to pay their respects to the formerly shunned Split-Tail, who had been killed by a human's submarine.  While it's difficult for the Merpeople to endure looking at Split-Tail's horrible disfigurement, as a fellow creature of the sea, they must honor him by singing the Mermaid song--it is beautiful!  Their song unexpectedly reanimates a zombie Split-Tail who vows revenge!  Merpeople try to shun him, but in the face of the undead monster fish, they must scatter.  Split-Tail strangles the nearest Mer-Princess.

Pussy Galore, the experienced hooker, is helping educate the former rich snob-turned-hooker Goldilocks.  Pussy strips Goldilocks down to her skivvies to make her more whore-like.  Goldilocks wants to "test" her rich fiancee, Rich, as he leaves work by letting Pussy Galore tempt him.  They go to his prestigious law firm in downtown Solomon's River.  Pussy strolls over and Rich easily falls for her whore charms!  Pussy sets up a meeting in one hour at The Blue Dolphin, the place with all the troublesome mermaids.  Pussy won't be the whore who shows up, however, it will be Goldilocks!

• Even though it was never very good, will Magnus' memory return?  Will he remember being kidnapped by Angelica the sub-minion?  Will Nurse and Dr. Scarlett be able to deal with his four-plus hour, old man hard-on?
• What will the head minion do if he catches Angelica?  Will he be able to take out Mistress Evil and become boss?
• What will happen now that zombie-ism has come to the Merpeople and Split-Tail is back from death and howling for revenge?
• What will become of Rich when he finds out his fiancee has tricked him into meeting a hooker at a cheap motel?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 117

The sky-gazing hillbilly and The Discovery Channel's Glen Aldridge are near enough to the NurseNudistNeonaziNarcanoNado to be hit by nurse-sized hail, which was actually Dr. Scarlett's Nurse, fallen from the 'nado, the clothes ripped from her body.  The hillbilly offers to help the naked woman.

Tommy, wandering the woods looking forlornly for Sally, instead runs into McShane, who had been missing longer.  McShane offers to help the simple man.

Meanwhile, in Solomon's River proper, Sally wants to go back into the forest to look for Tommy, but Detective Smegly prevents her, saying it's too dangerous.  He takes her to the police station to wait safely.  When they get to the station, a beat officer is there already, accompanied by a hooker, who swears she is an "exotic dancer".  Smegly has the officer fingerprint her, but the harried detective still has Sally, who remains terribly upset.  To placate Sally, Detective Smegly promises to leave immediately to find Tommy.  After he is gone, Sally discovers a loaded service revolver, which she keeps "in case [she] needs it."

Dr. Scarlett orders an orderly to find a patient who left without paying: Sally.  The doctor warns that Sally may be distraught because she thinks he killed her baby, which he didn't, he swears.

McShane is having a difficult time with the very upset Tommy.  In the middle of McShane's attempt at a sensible conversation, Tommy has the realization that he loves Sally and he wants to have her baby.  McShane can say nothing that doesn't upset Tommy further, and Tommy flees.

• Are bodies falling from the NurseNudistNeonaziNarcanoNado because it's finally slowing down?  Will the end of the 'Nado be the end of the Discovery Channel's new reality show?
• Can Detective Smegly help Sally, who now has a revolver, and can McShane help Tommy, who is running randomly through the woods?  Will the orderly find Sally first?
• What is the cause of the disproportionately large prostitution problem in Solomon's River?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 116

The Discovery Channel has sent Glen Aldridge and a small crew to Solomon's River to investigate reports of unusual weather phenomenon (do dooo, do do-do.)  A backwoodsman excitedly recounts his sighting of the nursenado and how it swept through the Solomon's River Nudist Camp, perhaps making "involuntary nudists" of the nurses already inside.  Glen mentions that The National Guard has been deployed to stop the nursenudistnado and slyly implants the suggestion that perhaps the nursenudistnado.  The Discovery Channel's producer is excited because this is the first step to inspire a new reality TV show.  She leaves a card in case the hillbilly sees something else.

Dr. Scarlett is wandering alone through the forest when he encounters Sally who became separated from Tommy during the storm.  Sally is very upset and alternately calls out "Stranger danger!" and "Tommy!"  She confesses to Dr. Scarlett that she is pregnant, and, with great difficulty, he gets her to leave with him for an examination.  After they leave, Tommy wanders by, calling forlornly, "Sally?  The baby..."

Detective Smegly notices all the evidence of a natural disaster and stumbles upon a nudist, recently dropped from the nursenudistnado.  Hearing their conversation, a woman of distinction enters and gives her report, too.  The following exchange was made:
Detective: Where did the nursenudistnado go?
Nudist: North.
Woman: North?
Nudist: For now.
Woman: Why, that's where the Neo-Nazis meet!
Nudist: No!
Woman: Yes, in the old, abandoned nuclear power plant.
Nudist: That's nasty.
Woman: I heard they're having a Narcanon meeting there now.
Detective: I must go nab this nursenudistnado!

To the north, a wooshing sound is heard over the "Heils" of the Neo-Nazis and Helmut's confession to the group that he is a junkie.  The wooshing gets louder and louder and the entirety of the Neo-Nazis get sucked up into the nursenudistnado.  "Ach, du Lieber!"

Dr. Scarlett does a sonogram on Sally and tells her she's not pregnant.  Sally thinks that perhaps Dr. Scarlett has killed her baby.

• Will Sally and Tommy ever reunite?
• When they do, how will Tommy take it when he finds out Dr. Scarlett examined Sally and didn't find a baby?  What about Sally's suspicion that Dr. Scarlett killed the baby?
• How will Sally ever pay the hospital bill?
• What will the meddling of The Discovery Channel do to Solomon's River in their quest for a backwoods alien conspiracy reality television show?
• How long can a nursenudistneonazinarcanonado stay in the air?  Where will it go next...

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 115

Swept up in the dreaded Nursenado, Dr. Scarlett and Nurse are finally deposited in an unfamiliar place just outside the city limits of Solomon's River. It turns out to be a nudist camp in the forest. Nurse notices something strange about them, other than the fact they are naked. They seem to covered in rashes, bruises and the general funk of an unknown strain of venereal disease. Dr. Scarlett is concerned this might be the start of a new epidemic! Nurse is dragged away to join in the celebrations while the doctor slips not-so-quietly away.

Meanwhile, at the Solomon's River police station, Detective Smegly has lost the paperwork about the woman he is searching for - Nurse! He is about to enlist the help of an underling officer to clean up the paperwork when Jimmy, the True Grit newsboy rushes in to tell them he just saw a Nursenado flying over the city! Det. Smegly leaves to find the Nursenado, thinking that will be the best place to find Nurse.

Some local hicks gawk as the Nursenado passes by and heads toward the forest. Someone with binoculars watches as "a bunch of disgusting, knobbly, naked people" are being sucked up by the Nursenado! They all grab their four-wheelers and follow them.

McShane, still wandering through the forest, is pulled up by the Nursenado just as Tommy and Sally arrive. Concerned for the welfare of Sally's fetus, and after Tommy has no success in communicating with it, they listen for any sound from McShane. Hearing none, they leave.

• Will there by a disgusting VD outbreak just in time for VD?
• Will we ever find out why Det. Smegly is looking for Nurse?
• What will happen now that the Nursenado is a Nursenudistnado?
• Is Sally's unborn baby really deaf?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!