Episode 60

Magnus Aversson, a major funder of Solomon's River Community Television (SRCTV,) has used his influence to break into late night programming for a special live announcement.  Magnus brilliantly addresses Mayor Joe Bob Solomon as if he sits in the empty chair next to the podium.  Before he is done tearing up the mayor, the cameraman must fend off the Solomon's River Police Department who is itching to arrest Magnus.  The cameraman buys Magnus time to escape, but is brutally beaten by Detective Seamens and Junior Detective Steve--on live television.

Later that morning, Princess Lakshmi, still tied to Rajiv, wonders at his lack of customers.  Mr. Hernandez enters politely, and just as politely loads and aims his bazooka.  The Princess and Rajiv just manage to drop into the basement storeroom before the place blows.

A British hunter and his friend Dingo are in some woods.  The hunter heard a rumor there was people-hunting, and he wants to hunt them, too.  Dingo feels this is too much and secretly removes the bullets.  The woods are not very thick, and it is more likely a park with many people, like Grandma Gooding and Franny Mason, strolling through.  The hunters seem to give up on the venture.

Coeds at SRCC (Solomon's River Community College) are experiencing such suffering from lack of internet that they actually watched SRCTV, witnessing the cameraman's brutal beating at the hands of police.  Four lackluster students finally realize their dreams of having something to protest.  They will make signs and Molotov cocktails and meet in front of the Po-Po Station.

Dr. Scarlett seems to be having a medical emergency from paddling so hard and Nurse diagnoses a heart problem.  Because he needs more help than she can give in the boat, they will allow themselves to be caught by the natives and use the unknown-to-the-Western-World native medicines to save Dr. Scarlett.

• Will the police remain two shuffling steps behind the surprisingly difficult-to-catch Magnus?
• What will happen to the police department now that a brutal beating has been broadcast?
• How much damage did Mr. Hernandez' bazooka do, and how will Princess Lakshmi and Rajiv get out of the basement?
• There's people hunting?
• Will Nurse get Dr. Scarlett to the natives in time to save him?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 59

Princess Lakshmi had been hiding in Rajiv's Coffee Shop storeroom since she couldn't escape Solomon's River, but her overnight chat with the on-the-lam Magnus Aversson inspired her to give Rajiv another shot.  Rajiv lets her out only to rope her wrist to his.  She is quite upset, but Rajiv is desperate to keep his formerly lost princess.  Lakshmi hints that Magnus talks in his sleep, has night terrors, and possibly deep psychological problems.

Hank Esterbrook's Weapon Emporium is very busy.  Mr. Hernandez is weaponing-up with vengeance against Magnus in mind.  Mister Suspicious, who may have bombed the library and set a bomb in Solomon's River's mine/caves, comes in for his regular order and must make do with more "super-powered" bombs.  Two women, Maureen and Sheila, enter to outfit Sheila with a girly gun because they need to defend against the men in town.  Another man who entered to ostensibly buy a gun is the mobster who tried to shake down Rajiv--he has now hired Mr. Hernandez to blow up Rajiv's Coffee Shop with a bazooka.

Detective Seamens, on a hot tip, has to go visit Agent Blakely and gives marching orders to Junior Detective Steve: go to see Judge Schmedly and get an arrest warrant for Magnus Adversson and Angelica--last name, Houston.  The Lieutenant enters, fixated on his own butt.  Doris informs the officers that a guy came to fix the internet and that they should avoid the computer room because of all the wires.

In dark waters, Dr. Scarlett and Nurse are in a carved out canoe, paddling away from the "deserted" island.  Nurse informs the doctor that behind them are about 20 bobbing lights indicating about 20 floating boats.  They paddle faster.

Angelica informs her granny that Carla Calvera is all taken care of, just like her granny said.  Granny is angry that Angelica didn't stick around to make sure Carla was dead and is disappointed that Angelica didn't learn her lessons well enough.  Granny vows to take care of the problem herself.  Angelica will watch and learn!

• What will happen now that Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi are roped together?
• Will Mr. Hernandez get his real estate vengeance against Magnus?
• Will the mobster succeed in blowing up Rajiv's?
• What "large building" was Mr. Suspicious considering blowing up?
• Will the detectives get anywhere?
• What's up with the Lieutenant's butt?
• Will Dr. Scarlett and Nurse escape the natives?
• Exactly how evil is Angelica's granny?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 58

Dr. Scarlett and Nurse will be on their way off the contested island, as long as they can "borrow" a boat from the natives...

Assistant Detective Steve receives a call from an angry Mr. Hernandez complaining of the shady real estate dealings of one Magnus Aversson.  Steve and Detective Seamens are berated by their boss, Lieutenant Brian Bustybottoms, and Seamens blames Rookie Steve.  Lieutenant wants them to catch Magnus, but the detectives are deeply involved in the library bombing investigation and leave to visit Calavera Enterprises.

Carla Calavera is trapped in the caves after one of the bombs must have exploded, covering the exit with rocks.  Angelica reveals her involvement in the bombing to Carla from the other side of the rocks.  Sure that her former mistress will soon be dead, Angelica leaves just before the other bomb goes off, helping to free Carla!

From the outside, the detectives show up and notice the place has been bombed.  Angelica wanders by, still confident, and is briefly questioned by Rookie Steve before being released.  Lieutenant  Bustybottoms stops by to berate the rookie.  Carla digs out while Steve digs in: she is free!  Detective Seamens shows up to berate the rookie.  Carla vows vengeance against her traitor assistant Angelica!  Carla heads in the direction Angelica left, and Rookie Steve follows Carla.

Back in the police station, a man who sounds like Dr. Scarlett and shimmers a little bit announces that he's from Solomon's River Cable and is there to install a new internet router.  The police secretary, Doris, lets him in... a man who likes his coffee "holographic."

Meanwhile, at Solomon's River Community College, coeds are thrown into a tizzy when their beloved interwebs have suddenly disappeared!

• Will Dr. Scarlett and Nurse get away with a native's boat, and will they return it as promised?
• How many police detectives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
• Three.  One to turn the bulb the wrong way and the other two to yell at the first, "Pull!"
• What will Carla do to Angelica once she catches up, and will Rookie Steve be able to stop her?
• What is H.A.L. up to, and can it be stopped?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 57

Just as Drs. Scarlett and Turquoise despair of ever finding the nurse in the overgrown jungle, Nurse storms in, machetes out, to save her Dr. Scarlett.  She learns that the doctors are now working together to strip the island, using the natives as slave labor.  Nurse is torn...  Suddenly, a man named Mr. Hernandez enters, claiming ownership of the island.  Dr. Turquoise and Mr. Hernandez compare deeds and it appears as if Magnus Aversson has sold the island twice... no... thrice!  Another man appears, also claiming to own the island, also with a deed signed by Magnus Aversson!  Dr. Scarlett, an acquaintance of Magnus', will go back to Solomon's River with Nurse to sort it out.  Dr. Turquoise promises not to harm the natives in their absence.

In Solomon's River General Hospital, H.A.L. is lording over his domain and looking to extend his control.  Jervis enters with Mousy who has a compound fracture.  H.A.L. warns that her femoral artery is in danger and Jervis, gallantly, carries her to the diagnostic table.  As soon as the lid closes, H.A.L. activates cryogenic suspension (insane laugh!)  H.A.L. reveals his plan to satisfy his megalomania by freezing the entire town.  H.A.L. cannot thaw Mousy safely for ten years!  Jervis asks to be frozen with Mousy, but he must wait a week for Calavera Industries to build and deliver the new tables.

Across town, Assistant Detective Steve receives an anonymous call about Jerome Tallendar's daring jailbreak.  Detective Seamens is shocked by Steve's news while the secretary is unusually concerned...

The limo carrying Magnus (as part of the plot to set him up for the jailbreak) has broken down and Magnus has managed to wander all the way back to Rajiv's Coffee House.  Rajiv offers his basement storeroom as a safe place to hide out.  Magnus discovers that Princess Lakshmi, unbeknownst to Rajiv, has been hiding there for weeks.  Since they closed down the airport, she could not leave Solomon's River, so she went to the only place she knew: Rajiv's basement.  Magnus reveals that Rajiv loves her.  Lakshmi is surprised and very pleased.

• Did Magnus sell the jungle island over and over because he forgot, or as part of some devious plot?
• Will Dr. Turquoise behave?
• How many will H.A.L. enslave?
• Will the detectives catch Jerome?
• Can Princess Lakshmi find a home?
• Will Jervis and Mousy ever kiss again, lip to lip?
• Has Magnus only dreamt he broke a hip?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 56

Rajiv finds a note in his coffee shop, but due to poor penmanship, the threat is lost on him.  Magnus Aversson wanders in to chitchat.  Jerome Tallendar's defense attorney enters, accuses Magnus of talking to the police, and tells him he will help get Jerome free whether he wants to or not!  She orders him to pick her up in a limo, with  a sunroof, at 11 pm.

Meanwhile, in Jerome Tallendar's cell, the package promised by his lawyer has been delivered.  Side note: "slop with crackers."  Inside the box are keys to a helicopter and an electromagnetic relay switch to unlock the prision doors!  The plan is that Magnus' limo will be a decoy while Jerome and his lawyer escape in the helicopter--tonight!

Detective Scott Semens cordons off the library bombing site (Detective Janice Green's cordon must have blown away.)  Rookie assistant Steve Beaverdam is bossed around by Detective Semens.  The Chief oversees their discovery of a used condom as well as a purchase receipt for ammonium nitrite, fertilizer, and black powder from... Calavera Enterprises!

It is 11 pm and Magnus picks up Jerome's defense attorney.  She has paid the driver to follow her orders and reveals to Magnus that he will take the fall for the prostitute's murder.  Her parting words: "Good luck spending the rest of your life in jail!"  She exits and the limo takes off, Magnus absorbed by Matlock on the TV.  A helicopter picks up Jerome from the jail yard and flies away to freedom as police sirens wail behind the limo.

• Rajiv feels safe, but is he, really?
• Can Rajiv and Magnus ever have a clear conversation?
• How will Magnus fare for the rest of his life in jail?  How long would that be, anyway?
• Will Jerome and his defense attorney get away with the jailbreak?
• Does Calavera Enterprises really have something to do with the library's bombing, or did they simply have black powder on sale?
• Is the condom a red herring, or a Trojan?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 55

Mr. Suspicious, most likely the library's bomber, is setting up a time bomb in the mines/caves under Solomon's River.  Jervis the Janitor enters just as Mr. Suspicious is trying to sneak away and recognizes him from the library and subsequent doobie smoking.  Angelica is running her own bomb wire as the men chat.  Jervis is distracted by distant cries for help from the forgotten Mousy Librarian.  Mr. Suspicious takes his opportunity to sneak away.  Jervis, who had dropped Mousy hours ago causing her leg injury, finally comes back to Mousy with a "spliff" instead of a splint.  Just as she begins to regret trusting him, Jervis unrolls his joint to use as a splint, which, miraculously, works.  Jervis' sacrifice makes Mousy all lovey-dovey again.  They limp deeper into the caves.

H.A.L., holographic doctor and construct of the hospital's central computer, is all that remains at the hospital.  H.A.L. sits regally in his domain.  Magnus Aversson wanders in, confused, and H.A.L. exhibits his superiority over humankind.  Magnus' granddaughter Cilantro enters and chats.  A self-described "annoying" lady enters and introduces herself as an author, writing a book about Solomon's River.

Meanwhile, at the detective pool...  Detective Smith wanted to show Investigator Green a graph of the happenings in Solomon's River, but something's up with their internet connection--it's as if it were hijacked!  Mayor Joe Bob Solomon enters, armed, and tells the detectives that he's the reason their computers are down.  He needs to stop the detectives from unraveling all the mysteries of the town so his "associates" deleted all files and back-ups and disconnect the internet.  The detectives profess that they have no hard copies, but to ensure they are not lying, Mayor Joe Bob takes them with him.

An unknown man breaks into Rajiv's Coffee Shop and leaves him a note: "I know you've always had it in for me, but now I have it in for you."

• Will half the town be blown to bits in the mines/caverns?
• Will the competing bombs cancel each other out?
• How will Jervis and Mousy get on, or get "it" on?
• H.A.L. seems very haughty for a hologram... what's he up to?
• What will happen to Detective Smith and Investigator Green in the hands of the Mayor?
• Who would "have it in" for Rajiv, and why?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 54

Jerome Tallendar (rhymes with calendar) is visited in jail by his defense lawyer.  Jerome is clearly a favorite of his fellow inmates.  The defense lawyer encourages him to think about anything that might help, and "Calgon Philosophy" doesn't help.  The lawyer promises to send a "care package" to his cell.

Solomon's River General Hospital is still seemingly empty.  A detective, "Ginger" Aversson, Magnus' granddaughter using an alter ego, tries to interrogate H.A.L., the holographic doctor.  She's trying to figure out what happened to her sister, Samantha.

Meanwhile, in the caves under the "deserted" island, the King of the Natives has Nurse chained by the ankle to his throne.  She asks to have more chain and he relents.  Nurse quickly biffs the Native King with the heavy chain and escapes.

In an unnamed break room, two men are discussing a transaction.  One man has just broken into the bank and stolen...something...from Rajiv's safety deposit box.  The other man wants to buy the document.  Their transaction is interrupted by workers entering on break.  The men lock one door only to have Janice Green, Investigator, enter through the other door.  Everyone denies they're doing something wrong and Janice is suspicious.  The long-lost Detective Smith enters, fresh from the detective pool, having seen Janice's "PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR" car outside.  Detective Smith tells Janice there are big things happening at the caves and there's been a hot tip the caves are going to blow, and maybe even more bombings in Solomon's River.  Smith gets Janice to return to the detective pool so all the investigators can figure out what to do.

• What will be in Jerome's "care package"?
• What has happened to Samantha Aversson?
• Will the Nurse fully escape the island?  Can she rescue Doctor Scarlett?  Where is Dr. Turquoise?
• Who are those two men plotting?  What is the document?  Why do they care?
• Does the detective pool also have a sauna?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!