Court is in session with Judge Graft, his nosy court reporter, and his slacker bailiff, but the defendants, Native Americans, aren't coming in because they don't believe the Court holds sway over them. Judge Graft is annoyed because the bailiff was supposed to bring in the Natives as well as the rogue deity, but the bailiff delegated to the (notoriously awful) Solomon's Police Department. Judge Graft demands the bailiff get it done and laments hiring his cousin, Lieutenant Bustybottoms, as Chief of Police. The judge makes his bailiff Chief of Police, jailer, as well as bailiff. The court reporter secretly texted this change of authority to her nosy circle of connections.
Meanwhile, in a jar... the Princess Lakshmi embryo is getting bigger.
Dr. Scarlett calls for Nurse, but remembers he fired her, and instead gets Nurse Steve. Someone swerving to avoid a zombie got into a horrible car accident and will need operating room 12 in ten minutes. A zombie goes to exam room 5.
Brother Chilliwang glows with the power of Princess Evaleen's stone shoved up his nose, allowing him to become a deity. When Offenshitz tries to pick the stone out of Chilliwang's nose, Chilliwang warns the stone is needed because there's going to be a God Fight between him and Jewish Deity Gigi, but only if they can get him to turn into a Kaiju.
A girl brings her friend Sarah to the emergency room, apparently from the car vs. zombie accident, and the very zombie she swerved to avoid was hired by HR to do patient intake. Sarah feels okay, but her friend insists she needs medical attention. Nurse Steve mixed up the operating room and the time needed. Sarah's friend and Doctor Scarlett (and the new patient intake worker) notice the back of her head is open and her brain is sticking out. They poke it for fun.
- What will happen now that Judge Graft has started messing with the police department?
- Where are the Native Americans, and what happened to their bribe for Judge Graft?
- How big is Princess Lakshmi's jar?
- What has become of Solomon's River General Hospital now that there are incompetent nurses and zombies working there?
- There's gonna be a Kaiju fight!
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
Rajiv is sick of being tested for superpowers and is glad when Magnus Adversson wanders into the coffee shop. Princess Lakshmi becomes upset when she cannot control her zombie-inoculation-induced super-strength, and runs out, crying over a ruined fork. Magnus orders his regular rhubarb pie and Doctor Pibb, but after sipping the Doctor Pibb, into which Rajiv has back-washed, is surprised by a change: he is younger! They deduce that Rajiv has rejuvenating spit! Unfortunately, the effect doesn't last long, and Rajiv needs to spit on Magnus repeatedly. While young, however, Magnus Adversson realizes there is money to be made here, and he hatches a plan to harvest Rajiv spit to find the secret to the Rajiv Scrak Fountain of Youth! They plan to meet up at Magnus' mansion.
Later, in a recording studio, music producer Marcus is doing the final recording of pop star Shasta's zombie apocalypse song, "Brains!" It's a wrap, but zombies, perhaps attracted by the new smash single, infiltrate and infect the assistant producer who in turn chases Marcus and Shasta out of the studio.
Bartholomew and Cletus are sincerely lost in the woods, nearly drown out by howling wolves. McShane wanders by, calling Tommy and Sally. Unfortunately for McShane, the brothers are very hungry, and they have rope. They tie up McShane and take him home for food. If they can find home, that is...
Meanwhile, in the middle school where even the teachers pick on Loser Myrtle, Myrtle is accosted by the snobby girls who pretend to like her and promise to help her do her hair, makeup and dress for the school dance. As the snobby girls mock and lie to Myrtle, hunky Jeremy (of the unshavable beard) walks by. Snobby Sara uses her deep voice to say hello, but Jeremy only stops to ask if Myrtle will go to the dance with him!
- What plans does Magnus have for Rajiv's rejuvenating spit?
- How will Princess Lakshmi deal with her super strength?
- Will Shasta's "Brains!" pop single be a hit? Does the song really affect zombies?
- How will McShane taste to Bartholomew and Cletus?
- Did Jeremy seriously ask Loser Myrtle to the dance, or is he in on some snobby plot?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
Rajiv keeps testing Lakshmi's sudden super strength, and Lakshmi keeps testing Rajiv to find his super power. It's not mind reading. It's not flying. It's not hovering. It's not immunity to pain. Lakshmi uses her super strength to pick him up and run him back to Rajiv's Coffee House so he may meditate on the possibilities.
Bartholomew and Cletus argue as brothers do who are hungry, stuck in the forest, and tied together. Bartholomew knocks the treesagna out of Cletus' hands and they argue about saving the girl or not. Cletus stands firm about going home. Bartholomew relents, as his brother is much bigger, and they head home, hoping the girl (who is Sally) will either find her own way, or at least distract the wolves plaguing this part of the forest.
Meanwhile, in a hallway outside the fifth grade classroom a frock of girls gossips about Jeremy with the Beard! One thinks it's gross, but the more developed girl thinks it's hot. Jeremy himself walks by and says, "What's up, Sara?" causing Sara to lose it like a fangirl. She's positive Jeremy will now ask her to the Fifth Grade Dinner Dance--as long as Loser Myrtle isn't there. Nobody likes her and Sara teases a plan for a prank to her scheming friends.
Friendly neighborhood barber Bobby McMasterfaster is a little lonely in his shop, hoping business will pick up soon when the bell rings optimistically. Unfortunately, it's not a customer; it's a Born-Again Christian asking if he's found his personal Savior in Jesus Christ. A blade flashes, the blood flows, and the Born-Again confesses with her dying breath she didn't really believe. Bobby laughs and laughs...
- Will meditation help Rajiv find his zombie-inoculation-induced superpower?
- Will Bartholomew and Cletus find their way home in the wolf-infested woods?
- What has become of Sally?
- Will Jeremy ask Sara to the Dinner Dance?
- What is the prank Sara wants to pull on Loser Myrtle?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
