Episode 29

In this week's episode of Solomon's River, we find Mr. Ylung talking with Magnus Adverson, concerned that Magnus has taken all his money out of Spelunker's Federal Credit Union...Ylung wants to know where the money is!

Meanwhile, at Calivera Enterprises, Carla is on the phone with Jason, a newly hired thug, wanting to know why the poison didn't work on the mayor!  She wishes Angelica hadn't quit;  She vows to try again.  Jason enters and is confronted by Carla.  They argue for a while over methodology until deciding upon a bullet in the face.  Or a knife jab in the kidney.  They hatch a plan to get Joe-Bob alone.

Across town, Angelica is talking with her son, Tripp, explaining why she no longer works for Carla Calivera; she is afraid Carla though Angelica had quit when Angelica was gone so long looking for her in the caves.  Tripp offers her a job in the bar, but Angelica is heartbroken about losing her job with Carla.  Tripp tells Angelica about how he enjoyed killing Wolfgang Offenschitz.  Angelica is distraught...it is the family curse!  Killing runs in his blood!

Later, at Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett is talking with his nurses, trying to find out what happened to Joe-Bob.  They explain that he just got up, stretched, and left the morgue.  The nurse thinks they should "get the stiff back."  Scarlett agrees and sends them after him.

At the Rajiv residence, Mrs. Rajiv answers a knock on the door, finding Jerry Koff on her doorstep.  He asks to speak with her, telling her how he can't stop thinking of her since last he saw her.  He wants her to volunteer on his campaign so he can be near her.  Rajiv calls to her from the bedroom, wanting her to rejoin him.  Joe-Bob Solomon arrives, having been told be Jerr Koff's assistant that he was there.  The mayor then does something to Koff that I can neither remember nor discern from the recording, so some help would be appreciated here.

The nurses are asking around town about the mayor; they talk with Carla, who is curious about why they are looking for him...Carla recognizes the nurses, and they recognize her. Carla senses they have a problem, and offer to give them a solution; she tells them to meet her at her office tomorrow. Once the nurses leave, Mayor Solomon arrives and punches Carla!

• Will Mr. Ylung find out what Magnus has done with the money?  Does Magnus even remember?
• Will Carla and Jason agree on a method with which to kill the mayor?
• Is Tripp cursed?
• Will the nurses find the mayor's body?
• Will Mrs. Rajiv run off with Jerry Koff?
• What solution does Carla have to offer?  Will she regain consciousness by the time the nurses return tomorrow?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 28

This week we find that Rajiv has finally retaken possession of the coffee house.  As he removes the dance club decorations, he discovers a young girl regaining consciousness on the floor.  She remembers a party, and is bummed when Rajiv tells her it is no longer a dance club.  As she drinks old coffee a new customer enters, asking for a fancy coffee drink.  Magnus Adverson then comes in, wanting a slice of rhubarb pie.  Rajiv dusts off a piece and serves it, despite the fact it is now black.  The young lady who woke up on the floor reenters and finds Magnus' cologne familiar.  She tells Rajiv that her mom sent her back because she "lost her virginity" there, although the girl has no idea what that means (she's 13!)  She remembers having a weird drink and then passing out. A stranger approaches her, claiming to be "Mr. Gnuly," a lawyer, asking if she needs help suing someone.  The girl's friend comes in asking if Rajiv is hiring.  After resisting as best he can, he finally ends up hiring her.  As Rajiv is busy hiring this young lady, a man and woman come in and the man flops in a chair, perhaps having a heart attack.  Rajiv advises she take him to the hospital.

Later, in a middle school study group, the two young girls we met at Rajiv's are discussing jobs and virginity. The girl from the dance party finally understands what it means to "lose your virginity," and is concerned as to how to tell whether you've had sex or not.  Her friend seems to think you have to wait until you have a baby to know for sure.  They decide the best way to get rid of the baby is to fall down the stairs, so they go to the library, where there are lots of stairs.

At the library, the girls get "shooshed" as they make plans to fall down the stairs.  They figure they'll try it on the indoor stairs because there aren't as many, and they're carpeted.  After they "shoosh" the "shoosher" for turning pages too loudly, the Head Librarian comes over to them to ask them to leave because of multiple complaints.  Brad Shershot, quarterback,  arrives and asks the girls if they'd like to hang out with him and the librarian and have mandatory premarital sex.  The girls decide that the one will start a rep, and the other will be the girls who doesn't "do it."  They all leave the library together.

Meanwhile, in the Solomon's River General Hospital morgue, Joe-Bob Solomon wakes up, wondering what he's doing in a morgue.  Dr. Scarlet's nurse arrives and screams...Joe-Bob tells her he needs to find his brother NOW!

• Will Rajiv be able to get the coffee house back into shape?
• Will the young lady find her virginity?
• Will she and her friend find a suitable set of stairs?
• What is Brad Shershot quarterback of?
• What does Joe-Bob Solomon want with his brother?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 27

In this episode of Solomon's River, Cilantro returns from her "vacation" and meets her grandfather, Magnus and her sister, Samantha.  Samantha asks Cilantro if she's seen Mr. Ylung during her absence; Cilantro tells her she hasn't, none too convincingly.  Samantha calls Ylung's office; she discovers the line has been disconnected.  The mysterious Janice "Grey" comes in, claiming to be from the EPA, asking about the noxious gasses being released from Calivera Enterprises.

Meanwhile, at Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett has Bob-Joe Solomon under hypnosis to try and discover what happened when they were at each others throats.  Bob-Joe was choking Scarlett, and the doctor had pumped Bob-Joe full of horse tranquilizers.  Both collapsed; Bob-Joe woke up first, then Scarlett, who opened a safe or cabinet, pulled out a box and removes from it a clown suit, big red nose and a wig, which he proceeded to put on Bob-Joe.  Then Dr. Scarlett's nurse arrived and handed Bob-Joe a gun, supposedly telling him to kill Jerry Koff.

Across town at Solomon's River United Catholic Church of God Our Heavenly Father in Christ, Tripp is in confessional, admitting that he killed someone, and seemed to enjoy it.  As Tripp is exploring non-murderous life options, Janice "Scarlet" busts in, declaring herself to be from the IAC, Internal Affairs of the Church.  She overheard Tripp's confession and has it taped.

In a miscellaneous character's home, we find Patsy, who has just returned from a trip unpacking a suitcase.  She discovers it is not her case; it belongs to someone named Cilantro.  It is filled with men's sexy underwear and is labeled..."Mr. Ylung!"

• Has Cilantro seen Mr. Ylung, and if so, why would she be lying about it?
• Why in God's name would a nurse want Jerr Koff dead?
• What was Tripp going to tell the priest before they were so rudely interrupted?
• What is Mr. Ylung's sexy underwear doing in Cilantro's suitcase, and why does he label it "Mr. Ylung?"

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 26

In our latest episode we find Rajiv pleading with his wife to forgive him for losing his job at the Dead Parrot bar; his wife promptly tells him it's all his fault for keeping the bar too clean.  Moments later Rajiv's cousin Habib arrives, explaining he took the Magnus suit, went to the bank, took out money and bought back the coffee house!  Rajiv tries to leave to get rid of the dancers in his coffee house, but is stopped when Jerr Koff comes by to ask for their vote.  Rajiv, who is not registered, refuses to let Koff talk to his wife; Jerr Koff leaves.

Meanwhile, in the mines, Angelica is looking for her boss, Carla Calivera, who was last seen lost, along with Magnus.  Angelica is surprised by Frannie Mason who tells her that Carla is not down there, but Angelica insists that she was last seen in the mines.  Magnus shows up, but is unable to tell Angelica where her boss is; they got separated.  Angelica proceeds to beat her head against a stalagmite.  Angelica tells Frannie to take Magnus up to the surface while she continues to search for Carla.

At Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett is surprised by Bob-Joe Solomon; neither can remember what happened last time they met...they both passed out at some point when Bob-Joe tried to kill Dr. Scarlett.  Bob-Joe apparently woke up in the middle of town wearing a clown suit and had a gun in his hand.  The gun had three shots fired; Bob-Joe remembers nothing.  He hopes Scarlett can give him answers.  Bob-Joe Solomon assures Scarlett that he is not there to harm him; he simply wants his help in sorting out what happened.  Scarlett's nurse arrives with the books on hypnosis he had ordered.  Scarlett promptly hypnotizes Bob-Joe and puts him to sleep.

• Will Rajiv be able to clear the riff-raff out of his newly-reacquired coffee house?
• Will Jerr Koff actually get anyone to vote for him?
• Will Angelica find Carla in the mines?
• What happened after Bob-Joe tried to strangle Dr. Scarlett?
• Will Bob-Joe Solomon get a good night's sleep?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 25

At the Retreat, Brother Offenschitz calls for Brother Chiliwang; he claims he has "found it!"  Inner peace!  He was in his cube, going through his bottom dresser drawer, and he found it.  Just as Chiliwang is about to release Brother Offenschitz, Tripp walks in disguised as Magnus.  Brother Chiliwang departs, Wolfgang invites Magnus to meditate with him, but instead Tripp/Magnus gets behind him and snaps his neck!!!

At the Rajiv house, Rajiv attempts to chastise his wife for embarrassing him in front of the customers.  She is upset that he is serving them alcohol in a bar.  Tripp walks into their house as Magnus, asking Rajiv to help him out of the suit.  He pulls down the zipper, and out pops Tripp!  Mrs. Rajiv is worried about this "sketchy person."  Tripp tells Rajiv that the bar is too clean; he is fired. One of the Rajiv cousins comes in, spouts off in Hindi, takes the now-empty Magnus suit and goes out of the room, Rajiv following close behind.

Meanwhile, at Solomon's River General Hospital, Jerry Koff finds Dr. Scarlet (who has mysteriously survived Bob-Joe's attempt on his life) and asks to see the body in the morgue that looks suspiciously like the mayor.  Scarlet takes him down to look at the body.  After shooing his nurse off of the body, Scarlet shows it to Koff, who identifies it, asking him to make sure it is not "plugged in."  As Scarlet is checking for a pulse, his nurse comes back in, trying to keep another nurse out of the room while the doctor is in there.  She wants her turn at the body.  Jerr Koff leaves, after asking for their votes.

• What will happen now that Tripp has apparently murdered Wolfgang Offenschitz?
• How will Rajiv support his family now that he has lost his job at the Dead Parrot?
• Is it really Mayor Joe-Bob's body on the slab?
• Will we ever have any love stories in Solomon's River?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 24

In the latest installment of Solomon's River, we begin with Tripp using the Magnus Adverson suit to try to gain access to the Retreat, where Wolfgang Offenschitz is trying to attain inner peace, in an attempt to kill Offenschitz so that he can take the pressure off his mother, Angelica, who is trying to take the pressure off her boss, Carla Calivera, who is trying to turn over a new leaf, but must first kill Wolfgang for the mayor.  Tripp realizes he has no identification, which will complicate his attempt at passing himself off as Adverson.  He then runs into Wolfgang and tries to elicit his help.  One of the Brothers comes by to try and get Magnus/Tripp to leave Brother Offenschitz alone so he can meditate; Brother Chiliwang soon arrives as well and leads Magnus/Tripp out.

Meanwhile, at the Dead Parrot Bar, Rajiv is tending bar in Tripp's absence as some strangers come in.  Mrs. Rajiv storms in, demanding to know where her husband has been!  He explains to her what has happened to the coffee house.  A dude comes in and tells everyone about a pitchfork and torch party going on in town.  One of Rajiv's relatives from India arrives, offering to help him get back his coffee house.  Bob-Joe Solomon comes in during the confusion and offers one of the strangers $200 to get rid of a black bag he has outside in his pickup truck, without looking in it!

Across town at the former coffee house, the dance party continues!  Magnus gets caught up with his granddaughter, Samantha...he wants to know what happened to Cilantro.  Samantha thought she was in town all the time she was gone; she is looking for Mr. Ylung...she notes that Cilantro seems to have disappeared around the same time as Ylung!  As the dance party winds down (too many old people) a confused stranger wanders in - the man from the black bag!!!

• Will Tripp's devilish plot work?
• Will Wolfgang ever attain inner peace?
• Will Mrs Rajiv teach her husband not to give away large possessions while she's gone?
• What was Bob-Joe doing with a body bag?
• Will Cilantro return?  Is she with Mr. Ylung???

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 23

Rajiv is still watching over the Dead Parrot while Tripp is out, and in walks Carla Calivera.  She apologizes to him for her complex drink orders and offers, in an attempt to turn her life around, to help him get his coffee shop back by getting the townspeople behind him.. Angelica runs in to warn Carla that the townspeople are marching to the factory with pitchforks and torches.  Carla must leave and have Angelica hide her.  Bob-Joe comes in and, posing as the mayor, tells Rajiv he is going to help Carla help him get his coffee house back.

Angelica takes Carla to the mines to hide her, at the same time remarking to Carla that the tunnels are filled with the unquiet spirits of people she has killed, seeking to wreak bloody revenge upon her.  Angelica leaves Carla and Magnus wanders into her as the spirits surround them.  Carla pours her heart out to Magnus, then considers that she should, perhaps, go back to being evil.  Magnus explains that in order to get to the top you have to be evil; then, when you retire, you can be good.  As the undead pass by, Carla decides the mines might not be the nest place to hide; she takes Magnus with her.

Meanwhile, at Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett negotiates with his nurse, agreeing to give them muffins in return for coming back to work and giving up their health benefits.  He sends her off to clean up the backlog of bed pans.  After she leaves, Bob-Joe shows up, but Scarlett is too preoccupied by x-rays of various patients to pay attention.  Once Bob-Joe gets Scarlett's attention, he confesses that he is impersonating his brother the mayor; he is concerned that his brother has been missing for some time.  He asks Scarlett if anyone who looks like him has been admitted to the hospital recently.  Before he can answer, his nurse comes back in, looks at Bob-Joe and screams.  "Sorry, there's a John Doe downstairs in the cooler, and you look just like him," she explains.  Bob-Joe realizes that the only person who could stop him from now becoming the mayor is Dr. Scarlett.  His hands close tightly around the doctor's throat...

• Will Rajiv ever get the bar top clean?
• Will Carla be able to evade the rampaging mob?
• Will Magnus ever find the 7-11?
• Are muffins important enough to give up health care for?
• Will Bob-Joe really kill Dr. Scarlett, or will they come to some mutually-agreeable, yet highly improbable compromise?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!