Episode 20

At the Dead Canary, Tripp the bartender deals with some unpleasant cleaning issues in the restroom.  An incomprehensible curmudgeon enters and (perhaps?) tries to order a whiskey.  Tripp calls his mom, Angelica, to inquire once again about all the people he sends to Calivera Enterprises who never come back.  She tells him she needs more people, so Tripp talks with the curmudgeon and sends him over.

At Calivera Industries, Carla has returned from testifying before Congress.  She is worried, and tells Angelica that they must stay under the radar for a few weeks; no more killings!  Just then, Joe-Bob Solomon enters, asking Carla if she's "gotten around to that job I asked you to do," which amounts to killing Wolfgang Offenschitz.  Carla replies that she has turned over a new leaf and won't be killing people any more.  At that, Mayor Joe-Bob threatens to reveal evidence against her...40 tapes worth.  All he wants is this one last killing.  He leaves, and the curmudgeon comes in; Carla tells him she has the perfect job for him and for Angelica to "show him to his new office."  She will turn over a new leaf tomorrow.

Later, Jerry Koff runs into the Mayor and asks if they could set up a debate at his "men's club," and to show up on Friday and not tell anyone where he's going.  After Jer Koff leaves, we discover that he was, in fact, talking with Joe-Bob's brother, Bob-Joe!

Meanwhile, we find Julia looking for a coffee shop (or something to do in town,) and a fan is looking for an autograph.  Magnus mistakes Julia for his newly-found daughter, Magneta.  Mr. Ylung shows up, asking why Magnus is no longer in the basement, and demands to know what happened to the cable guy.  Magnus realizes he has killed the cable guy...the problem is that he was the witness to the new will signing; Magnus must re-sign.  Magnus tells Ylung that he told Dr. Scarlett he would be put in the will for helping Magnus discover why he had blood on his hands; My. Ylung assures Magnus that he is only trying to help him.  They leave.

• Will Tripp ever find out what's happening to all the people he sends to Calivera Enterprises?
• Will Carla turn over a new leaf?
• Will Joe-Bob succeed in blackmailing Carla into helping him?
• Will Bob-Joe show up for the debate on Friday, and if so, will he bring snacks?
• Did Magnus Adverson really kill the cable guy?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

 

Episode 19

At Rajiv's Coffee House, Rajiv is first surprised by finding a baby under the counter, then by Detective Smith, who orders a "celebratory cup o' joe."  Finally he has found a mystery in Solomon's River which needs solving; the mystery of the blood on Magnus' hands!  Magnus Adverson comes into the coffee shop and hangs around for no apparent reason until an actress enters.  She implies that she is Julia Roberts, but then claims she is Dolly Parton. Someone from the film crew runs in to tell  Julia that there has been a horrible accident on the film set!  After burning Julia's face with a cup of scalding hot coffee, Rajiv hands off the baby to an as-yet unidentified Indian man who has suddenly appeared. Rajiv then makes a run for it.

Elsewhere, Jer Koff is meeting with Dr. Scarlett to check on when the next sacrifice is scheduled.  Jer informs Scarlett that he received an offer of a sizable donation from Wolfgang Offenschitz if he "takes care of Mayor Joe-Bob."  Jer Koff asks if it would be possible to sacrifice the mayor; Scarlett replies that he would prefer a female virgin, but is willing to make an exception this time.  There is a knock at the door...it is a mysterious package being delivered from the Kentucky Candle Company. Scarlett tell Jer to take it down to the Caverns.

At the Solomon's River Marriott, we find the mysterious wealthy woman calling for her butler, Jeeves, who is uncharacteristically slow in answering.  She is tired of being cooped up in the hotel...she is anxious to find Magnus Adverson who, coincidentally enough, has just arrived at her door.  He is invited in and is shown in to see Edith (the wealthy woman.)  They embrace.  It's been 40 years since they've seen each other; they were separated after a firefight...she pulled one of the German's bodies over her and stayed there for a week, at which time she ate her way out.  She shocks Magnus with the news that they have had a child together.  Coincidentally once again, a woman, Magneta, enters the room.  Edith introduces Magnus to their daughter...

• Will Julia get to finish her film?
• Will Det Smith find out why Magnus had blood on his hands?
• Will Dr Scarlett and Jer Koff be able to find a mutually agreeable date for their next sacrifice?
• What will Magnus have to say to his newly-found daughter?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 18

At the meditation center, Brother Chilliwang complains to a fellow brother that Brother Offenschitz has been disruptive, causing a food fight in the cafeteria.  As penance, Wolfgang has been sent to the Cave of Ultimate Silence to find his inner self.  In the Cave, Brother Offenschitz is visited by the ghost of Suzanne, the love of his life that Joe-Bob Solomon was responsible for killing.  Mayor Solomon arrives and steals the ghost and leaves Wolfgang alone in the Cave.

At Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett is worried about how to run the hospital without nurses, who are now out on strike.  Unfortunately, the scabs who've been hired to replace them are not working out very well.  Magnus comes in and wants to know why his half-brother Scarlett is not helping him discover why Magnus came to the hospital with blood on his hands.  Magnus offers to put Scarlett back in the will if he helps.  Dr. Scarlett suggests they talk to a detective.

Later, at the detective agency, Detective Smith is finishing a phone call when Magnus and Scarlett arrive to seek help.  Smith is excited that a mystery has shown up on the doorstep!  Scarlett tells Smith about the blood; Smith takes samples and sends them to the lab for analysis.  When questioned, Adverson remembers little about what happened since being tied up in Ylung's basement.  They all leave to find a TV Guide so they can determine the timing of events based on what Magnus was watching...either Matlock or Perry Mason.

At Rajiv's Coffee House, Jerry Koff, a candidate for Mayor, comes in to solicit Rajiv's vote.  A very enthusiastic man, Jer Koff spreads rumors about Mayor Solomon's activities in the park and his proclivity for hearing voices. 

Back outside the hospital, the striking nurses discuss amongst themselves what their demands are: more money, fewer hours, less blood and nicer bathrooms.  They also discuss that Jer Koff has promised to help the nurses get all their demands as long as they give him kickbacks and help with his campaign. They change their picket signs to read "Vote for that Jer Koff" and decide to bake "Jer Koff muffins."  We leave this episode of Solomon's River as the nurses are chanting, "Jer Koff Muffins!  Jer Koff Muffins!"

• Will Suzanne's ghost ever return to Wolfgang?
• Will we find out why Magnus has blood on his hands?
• Will Rajiv go for Jer Koff?
• Will the nurses get satisfied?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 17

This week we find ourselves in Rajiv's Coffee House as a wealthy woman enters with her butler, Jeeves, to order a latte (she gets coffee.) As they haggle over the five cent charge for a lid, one of the teenagers from the previous episode arrives wearing the Magnus Adverson suit.  "Magnus" asks for "free stuff" and ends up walking out with coffee and rhubarb pie.  The wealthy woman recognizes Magnus from years before, but as she tries to talk with him, she becomes distraught that Magnus does not recognize her.  Mayor Solomon shows up as the woman and her butler leave.  For some mysterious reason the mayor is intrigued by the wealthy woman, and leaves to go to the hotel and check her out.

Meanwhile, in Ylung's basement, the cable guy is still hooking up Magnus' TV.  Unfortunately, the teenager in the Magnus suit appears and tries to sell the coffee he got for free from Rajiv.  Magnus recognizes himself and asks for help with the remote; he can't get to Matlock.  Another teenager shows up to take his turn with the Magnus suit.

At Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett is looking at an X-ray of a tumor.  His nurse asks him about it and they discuss why so many people in town are developing tumors.  When a delivery of tumors shows up, the nurses decide that working conditions are bad enough to go on strike!  As they picket outside, a scab comes and takes a nursing job.  Adverson finds his way to Scarlett's office...he has blood on his hands!

• Who is this mysterious wealthy woman?
• Why is Mayor Solomon so interested in her?
• Will the teenagers manage to sell all that rhubarb pie?
• Why are so many people developing tumors?
• How long will the nurses be on strike?
• Whose blood is on Magnus' hands???

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 16

At the Dead Canary, a local drunkard, Aaron, demands more whiskey as the bartender, Tripp, tries to get him to go home until finally giving in and serving him.  Detective Smith arrives, looking for anything suspicious.  Tripp informs Smith that the mayor has a brother that looks just like him.  Smith then grills him about all the local disappearances, indicating that the drunkard may well disappear next.  Asking Aaron about the No-Tell Motel (at which he works,) Smith finds out that the mayor likes little girls.  Bob-Joe Solomon arrives, still looking for his brother.  Smith asks him about his Joe-Bob's penchant for young ladies.  Bob-Joe admits that his brother the mayor is corrupt, and will get his comeuppance.

Magnus is still tied up in Ylung's basement; Ylung informs him that the "project" will have to wait, because Ylung has gotten a good gig suing Dr. Scarlett on behalf of Dr. Maroon.  A knock comes at the door; a cable guy arrives trying to sign Ylung up for cable. They come to an agreement as Ylung does his best to hide Magnus from him.  Adverson finally agrees to sign the new will, making the Magnus Mask Plan irrelevant.  The cable guy witnesses the signing of the will.

Meanwhile, just outside Ylung's house, three teenagers gather to break in and steal all the chemicals they heard were inside.  They follow the cable guy in  and find the Magnus mask and suit, which one of them proceeds to put on.

At a mediation center, Wolfgang Offenschitz is learning to let go of his anger.  Hawaiian pizza arrives and Master Chiliwang pays, then tell Brother Offenschitz that he has pain which he cannot release until he finds his inner demons.  Another brother arrives, asking about the pizza until Brother Offenschitz yells at them to quiet down, thereby delaying his discovery of the inner demons even further.

• Will Joe-Bob Solomon and Bob-Joe Solomon ever manage to meet up?
• Will Magnus Adverson get to see "Love Connection?"
• What will those teenagers do with a Magnus Adverson mask & suit?
• Will Brother Offenschitz get in touch with his inner demons?
• Who invented the Hawaiian pizza, and why?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 15

We begin in Rajiv's Coffee House as Rajiv's brother Vajir arrives.  Things are not going well at the Marriott; young women are hanging around with old men, and that's bad for business.  What he is looking for, however, is the putty he needs to make the Magnus Adverson mask.  Rajiv lends Vajir his caulk gun, warning him it could go off at the slightest provocation.

At Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett checks with his nurse to she if she managed to get rid of the body in his office from last week; she tells him it was surprisingly easy.  It was dragged away by two mysterious men (the Mason Brothers.)  Apparently the body was not dead, however, for Dr. Maroon, the body, surprises the two of them; he forces his way into the hospital and confronts Scarlett with his plans to sue for malpractice...Scarlett was his doctor years ago and apparently sewed his spleen to his rectum.  Having employed the services of Mr. Ylung, Maroon hatches his plot for REVENGE! Dr. Scarlett is subpoenaed.  Scarlett sends his nurse to talk to the Mason Brothers to see if they can help rid him of his troubles.

The nurse travels into the mines to talk with the Mason Brothers.  Fighting an irritatingly literal echo, the nurse talks with Frannie, who promises to meet with Scarlett next week.  The nurse leaves to deliver his message as the mayor meets up with Frannie to demand why his angry neighbor, Wolfgang Offenschitz is still alive; Frannie promises to take care of it.

Back at Rajiv's Coffee House, Sally Struthers (no relation,) a student from the high school band is trying to sell ads for the school newspaper to pay for their school trip to Oklahoma to play against the Fighting Oklahomans.  Frannie Mason buys an ad for his "moving service."

• Will Vajir be successful at caulking Magnus' face?
• Will Dr. Maroon win his malpractice suit against Dr. Scarlett?
• What happens when you sew a spleen to a rectum?
• Will Frannie managed to fix his many faux pas?
• Will Sally Struthers sell enough ads to go on her trip to Oklahoma City?

 Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 14

We start tonight's episode in Rajiv's Coffee House with two patrons sitting at a lone table. Rajiv, oddly enough, is missing, so the young woman offers to get the gentleman a cup of coffee as they make observations about the Coffee House (holes in the wall, giant monkey wrenches and cymbal monkeys below the counter.)  She also notices a handle on the floor as Rajiv's brother enters and asks her what she's doing.  He shoos her from behind the counter and muses about how odd it is for Rajiv not to be there.

Mr. Ylung arrives at the Coffee House to talk with Rajiv's brother, who had once worked as a special FX man in Bollywood, to see if he could make him a Magnus Adverson mask for "a fancy dress party."  As the female patron discusses how much she loves fancy balls, Ylung make arrangements to meet in the basement of his law firm after 3 o'clock.

Meanwhile, at Solomon's River General Hospital, we find Dr. Scarlett's nurse inquiring about knee salve, so she can keep her job.  Once she leaves, Dr. Scarlett is inspecting some X-rays when a mysterious Dr. Maroon enters and confronts Scarlett.  Maroon threatens to give Scarlett his "comeuppance."  Fortunately the nurse returns and pumps Maroon full of tranquilizers until he finally (and slowly) collapses upon the couch.  Scarlett's nurse is afraid that Scarlett's life is in danger, so they leave for a new office.

Later, in the basement of Ylung's law firm, we find Magnus still tied up to a chair.  Magnus complains about Matlock being too old, so Ylung turns on Diagnosis Murder.  Mr. Ylung begins to measure Adverson, then figures he could take his keys and just get some of his clothes.  Ylung takes the keys and leaves Adverson to watch his Dick (Van Dyke.)

• Will we discover what the mysterious handle on Rajiv's floor is for?
• Where is Rajiv?
• Can Rajiv's brother make a convincing Magnus Adverson mask?
• Who is the cryptic Dr. Maroon, and what in God's name is a "comeuppance?"
• What does Magnus really have against Matlock?
• Why do policemen have bigger balls than firemen? (They sell more tickets.) 

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!