Episode 62

Solomon's River Community College students remain vigilant in their disdain for education and sudden urge to protest the police department for the brutal beating of an SRCTV cameraman.  Bridget, the coed who first spread the word about the televised beating, runs into a former fellow student and binge drinker, Kyla, who changed her name to "Janet Purple" when she married Mr. Purple, their old biology teacher.  Mr. Purple is an internet sensation, and "Janet," now in graduate studies, is trying to please her husband with her own viral video of brutality.  Bridget waves her "PORK!" sign around, but it's not enough.  The girls mistake Magnus Aversson for a police officer and lure him into hitting Bridget.  They run to upload the video.

Angry and urban, Mr. Purple arrives at the police station, looking for his wife.  Lieutenant Bustybottoms and secretary Doris take an exaggerated report, prepare for the manhunt of a woman who sounds a lot more dangerous than she is, and send Mr. Purple to the sketch artist.

Meanwhile, outside the maximum security prison recently and illegally vacated by Jerome Tallender of the three nipples, Janet Purple has gone completely insane.  Mayor Joe Bob Solomon has the misfortune to have encountered her and has a memory erasing Tic Tac thrown into his ear before he can get away.  As Joe Bob struggles with the sudden blanking of his memory, Assistant Deputy Mayor Jimmy, unaware of the Mayor's infirmity, tries futilely to discuss mayoral business.  Doris, the police department secretary, has come down to the prison to get Jimmy to sign a "shoot to kill" order for the police department.  It is revealed that Jimmy is planning on running against Joe Bob in the next election.  Doris assures him the police department is solidly supporting him and promises there is already a plot afoot to discredit Mayor Joe Bob.

• What will happen now that there is a video circulating of Magnus Aversson seemingly punching a coed?
• Exactly how crazy is "Janet Purple"?
• How long before Mayor Joe Bob's memory returns?
• Will Assistant Deputy Mayor Jimmy run a successful campaign?
• Will the secret plot of discredit the mayor succeed?
• How will a "shoot to kill" order signed by the mayor's office change police tactics?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 61

A back room plastic surgeon puts the finishing, horrific touches on Jerome Tallender, recent escapee from Solomon's River-PepsiCo Maximum Security Prison.  Jerome is unrecognizable, and has new ID under the name "Vladimir Putin."  Unfortunately, the surgeon couldn't remove Tallender's one distinguishing feature: a supernumerary nipple.

Rookie Steve and Detective Seamens are holed up in the police station which is surrounded by an angry mob ("Police department sucks!") protesting the brutal, televised police of a SRCTV cameraman by their hands.  Lieutenant Bustybottoms enters, not having seen the footage, but demanding his detectives investigate and discipline the offenders.  Rookie Steve and Detective Seamens must decide what to do...

H.A.L., the holographic doctor who has taken over the town's computer system, releases the police brutality video worldwide.

Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi are still tied together and trapped in the basement storeroom.  Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi will pretend to the world that they are dead so the man who tried to kill them won't keep trying.  Magnus Aversson, who again wandered into the cafe, frees them and promises to swear they're dead.

Rookie Steve "Sam" calls the Solomon's River Travel Agency planning his escape.  He books a one-way trip to Mexico, leaving ASAP!

Mr. Hernandez surveys the damage at Rajiv's Coffee Shop but the Mob Boss needs confirmation of Rajiv's death.  Grandma Gooding wanders through the rubble, wanting her free coffee.  Mr. Hernandez is positive Rajiv is dead, but the Mob Boss remains unconvinced.  Grandma Gooding is sent to Tim Hortons.

• What will Jerome, now "Vladimir," do with his new freedom?  Will his third nipple be his downfall?
• Rookie Steve is hightailing it out of town.  Does that mean Detective Seamens will be thrown under the bus?
• What will happen now that H.A.L. has released the police brutality video worldwide?
• Can Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi stay in hiding?
• Will the Mob Boss find them?
• Will Magnus spill the beans?
• Will Tim Horton's accept Grandma Gooding's card for free coffee?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 60

Magnus Aversson, a major funder of Solomon's River Community Television (SRCTV,) has used his influence to break into late night programming for a special live announcement.  Magnus brilliantly addresses Mayor Joe Bob Solomon as if he sits in the empty chair next to the podium.  Before he is done tearing up the mayor, the cameraman must fend off the Solomon's River Police Department who is itching to arrest Magnus.  The cameraman buys Magnus time to escape, but is brutally beaten by Detective Seamens and Junior Detective Steve--on live television.

Later that morning, Princess Lakshmi, still tied to Rajiv, wonders at his lack of customers.  Mr. Hernandez enters politely, and just as politely loads and aims his bazooka.  The Princess and Rajiv just manage to drop into the basement storeroom before the place blows.

A British hunter and his friend Dingo are in some woods.  The hunter heard a rumor there was people-hunting, and he wants to hunt them, too.  Dingo feels this is too much and secretly removes the bullets.  The woods are not very thick, and it is more likely a park with many people, like Grandma Gooding and Franny Mason, strolling through.  The hunters seem to give up on the venture.

Coeds at SRCC (Solomon's River Community College) are experiencing such suffering from lack of internet that they actually watched SRCTV, witnessing the cameraman's brutal beating at the hands of police.  Four lackluster students finally realize their dreams of having something to protest.  They will make signs and Molotov cocktails and meet in front of the Po-Po Station.

Dr. Scarlett seems to be having a medical emergency from paddling so hard and Nurse diagnoses a heart problem.  Because he needs more help than she can give in the boat, they will allow themselves to be caught by the natives and use the unknown-to-the-Western-World native medicines to save Dr. Scarlett.

• Will the police remain two shuffling steps behind the surprisingly difficult-to-catch Magnus?
• What will happen to the police department now that a brutal beating has been broadcast?
• How much damage did Mr. Hernandez' bazooka do, and how will Princess Lakshmi and Rajiv get out of the basement?
• There's people hunting?
• Will Nurse get Dr. Scarlett to the natives in time to save him?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 59

Princess Lakshmi had been hiding in Rajiv's Coffee Shop storeroom since she couldn't escape Solomon's River, but her overnight chat with the on-the-lam Magnus Aversson inspired her to give Rajiv another shot.  Rajiv lets her out only to rope her wrist to his.  She is quite upset, but Rajiv is desperate to keep his formerly lost princess.  Lakshmi hints that Magnus talks in his sleep, has night terrors, and possibly deep psychological problems.

Hank Esterbrook's Weapon Emporium is very busy.  Mr. Hernandez is weaponing-up with vengeance against Magnus in mind.  Mister Suspicious, who may have bombed the library and set a bomb in Solomon's River's mine/caves, comes in for his regular order and must make do with more "super-powered" bombs.  Two women, Maureen and Sheila, enter to outfit Sheila with a girly gun because they need to defend against the men in town.  Another man who entered to ostensibly buy a gun is the mobster who tried to shake down Rajiv--he has now hired Mr. Hernandez to blow up Rajiv's Coffee Shop with a bazooka.

Detective Seamens, on a hot tip, has to go visit Agent Blakely and gives marching orders to Junior Detective Steve: go to see Judge Schmedly and get an arrest warrant for Magnus Adversson and Angelica--last name, Houston.  The Lieutenant enters, fixated on his own butt.  Doris informs the officers that a guy came to fix the internet and that they should avoid the computer room because of all the wires.

In dark waters, Dr. Scarlett and Nurse are in a carved out canoe, paddling away from the "deserted" island.  Nurse informs the doctor that behind them are about 20 bobbing lights indicating about 20 floating boats.  They paddle faster.

Angelica informs her granny that Carla Calvera is all taken care of, just like her granny said.  Granny is angry that Angelica didn't stick around to make sure Carla was dead and is disappointed that Angelica didn't learn her lessons well enough.  Granny vows to take care of the problem herself.  Angelica will watch and learn!

• What will happen now that Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi are roped together?
• Will Mr. Hernandez get his real estate vengeance against Magnus?
• Will the mobster succeed in blowing up Rajiv's?
• What "large building" was Mr. Suspicious considering blowing up?
• Will the detectives get anywhere?
• What's up with the Lieutenant's butt?
• Will Dr. Scarlett and Nurse escape the natives?
• Exactly how evil is Angelica's granny?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!