Rajiv managed not only to avoid the shuffling zombies chasing him in the caverns, but he also found Lakshmi. Before they work together to escape, she makes Rajiv declare her a free woman, and he makes Lakshmi proclaim her love for him. They pinkie swear on it. He promises to have his wife declared dead.
Frieda and Greta invite others to their witch lynch party and they decide to combine it with the upcoming holidays and make it a Christmas lynching. John is in charge of the food, twins Timmy and Tommy choose the Christmas/lynching carol list, and someone else is in charge of the garland, which will be used to string up the witches. Frieda and Greta tell everyone to meet back with their goodies, and then they'll lynch the Queen of the Witches.
Sally is with McShane and she is worried for the freshly lost-in-the-forest Tommy. McShane suggests they search together, which Sally remembers is what got them all lost in the first place. She brilliantly suggests a rope, so they don't get separated. Not-brilliantly, she gives the entire rope to McShane. After they leave for the forest, Tommy arrives to find they are gone.
Angelica sneaks into Uber Minion's room to gather the ingredients which Big Momma, aka Queen of the Witches, needs to cast a spell on the plotting Uber. Angelica manages toenail clippings and a spare toupee before Uber returns and discovers her. She takes the opportunity to cut off one of his ears and take an eye. He promises to kill her someday. She has forgotten to get an eyelash.
John comes home to rope his mother into making cookies for their Christmas lynching party. His alcoholic father lurks in the background, and John has trouble reading the recipe.
Meanwhile, at Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett asks Nurse where all the other nurses are and she explains the NurseNudist-etc-Nado. Nurse leaves with the nurse roster to find them. After she leaves, McShane confronts Dr. Scarlett and announces his intention to kill him to avenge Tommy and Sally's baby. Dr. Scarlett explains that Sally was never pregnant because there is a need for intercourse before there can be a baby.
With McShane at the hospital, Sally is all alone in the middle of the forest. Two rubes, Bartholomew and Cletus, offer to help the crying woman and invite her back to their shack in the woods. She goes...
- Will Rajiv and Lakshmi keep their promises to love and honor? What will Mrs. Rajiv do when she discovers she has been declared dead?
- Will Big Momma's spell work without an eyelash? What will Uber Minion do without depth perception or a spare toupee?
- Can Big Momma cast her spell and keep the witches safe against the impending lynch mob?
- Can John's Christmas lynching cookies possibly come out okay?
- Will Nurse find the other tossed-about nurses?
- Is McShane satisfied with Dr. Scarlett's explanation of how babies are made?
- What will become of Sally?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
Angelica grovels at Big Momma's feet, promising she's the best minion ever. The minions have been getting the place ready for the party when Uber Minion comes in and starts brown-nosing Big Momma. Uber Minion touches Momma, who warns him never to touch her again, but he threatens that he could "snap her like a twig"! Angelica back-hands Uber Minion, causing a mild nose bleed. Big Momma wants to know why, since he is a minion, he is not grovelling. He answers that perhaps he does not want to be a minion any more; perhaps he wants to be Big Momma! He muses that he could get a sex transplant, which apparently involves having a penis on his forehead. Uber Minion pulls out a big knife, which Angelica knocks from his hand. Big Momma then reveals that she is also Queen of the Witches! Angelica offers to help Big Momma cast a spell by collecting the necessary ingredients. The needs one of his toenails, and eyelash, one of his ears, one of his eyes, and his toupee.
Meanwhile, at the Solomon's River Police Department, Detective Smegley comes in and greets Greta, his new secretary, who actually turns out to be Greta's grandmother; Smegley has mistaken one for the other because they look so much alike. Lieutenant Bustybottoms comes in and finds Smegley in an uncooperative mood. Smegley believes that since he got his promotion, he no longer needs to listen to Bustybottoms. The Lieutenant lets it slide and sends him off for coffee. Bustybottoms is perturbed there's an old person in the station, but overlooks it for Greta's sake. A woman, Freida, enters to report that her next door neighbor is Queen of the Witches, complete with minions! Bustybottoms ignores her pleas for help until he can get his coffee. Greta offers to take care of the witch problem, even though she's been afraid of them since Sunday school. They leave to gather a lynch mob.
Tony admonishes Soup Bone for killing Timmy in broad daylight. They start to plan their escape in Tony's Porsche (complete with Priscilla once again tied up in the trunk) when Timmy returns to life as a zombie!
Now that McShane has finally gotten rid of Tommy and Sally, he believes he can get some work done. Unfortunately, he is haunted by their voices, accusing him of leaving them in the woods to die. McShane finally gives in an screams that he will go back to the forest to find them, but doesn't have to, because they right behind him. There is a joyful reunion complete with some awkward moments. Sally tells McShane that the doctor killed her baby; McShane offers to go find the doctor and kill him. Sally is a little concerned that that's what he's jumping to, but lets him go anyway. Tommy leaves to go to the forest.
- Will Uber Minion become the new Big Momma?
- Will Angelica manage to collect all the necessary ingredients for thespell?
- Will Greta and Freida be able to raise a lynch party?
- What will Timmy do, now that he's a zombie?
- Will McShane kill Doctor Scarlett over a non-existent baby?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
