Across town at an unnamed Chinese restaurant, a newly-returned Cilantro finds what appears to be a "gill from a fish" in her tea. One of the owner comes over to help, trying to determine whether the gill is from tuna or not, then working to remove a newly-discovered, very long hair from the teapot. Once the owner discovers Cilantro is Magnus Adverson's granddaughter and therefore must be rich, she leaves to bring her the "personal stock tea." She later complains about the inadequate tip.
Meanwhile, in the Solomon's River water treatment plant, two employees are working diligently to unclog the intakes of all the mermaids. Placing the mermaids into the chopper, the workers find they are having trouble flushing them down and decide it would be prudent to call in someone from the DEC, or the HIP, or HIV, or SPCA. They become concerned when issues of whether or not mermaids are protected come up, and are worried someone might actually be reading their reports. They leave to do the only logical thing and destroy the reports.
At the local coffee house, an elderly couple is discussing various old people things when Agent 69, after several attempts, manages to subdue the old man with a tranquillizer dart. He is wheeled away to become an unwilling Matlock impersonator. Once back at the mansion, the agents decide this one will do well and tie him up. After some accent training, they begin the work of brainwashing him. It is at this point that Cilantro shows up, sees the faux Matlock, and the agents are forced to bean her on the head. Since the plan was to have Matlock kidnap one of Magnus' granddaughters, things are unfolding nicely. Placing her on his lap, they take pictures.
- Will the water treatment workers manage to destroy the reports before anyone sees them?
- Will the SPCA be concerned about the mermaids?
- Will Magnus be fooled by a coffee house Matlock?
- Will Cilantro have a nasty bump on her head?
- What kind of fish gill was it?
Find out the answer to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
