Episode 21

Today's episode begins in Rajiv's Coffee House.  Director Anderson's production assistant for the film Steel Magnolias II: The Wrath of Magnolia comes in scouting for a location; she thinks the coffee house would be perfect!  She informs Rajiv that this is a horror film, so there will be a great deal of blood and gore.  She then shoves a pile of papers at Rajiv and gets him to sign them.  She leaves as Magnus enters and orders his usual.  Close behind him is Director Anderson and his assistant, Lilly.  As Lilly leads Magnus out, Director Anderson asks Rajiv for "the money he was supposed to be holding" for him.  To punctuate his threatening tone, two nurses line up next to him:  his enforcers!  The nurses, despite Rajiv's protestations, swear that he has Mr. Anderson's money, and they take him in the back to get it.

Later, in the Caverns, we find Lilly tied to the ground.  Dr. Scarlett hovers over her as Mr. Anderson releases her, informing Scarlett that he won't be allowed to sacrifice her.  Bob-Joe Solomon, posing as his brother Joe-Bob, the mayor, comes out of the bathroom.  Since Scarlett will be unable to sacrifice the girl, he chloroforms Anderson and they tie him to the ground. Mr. Anderson asks why he is being sacrificed; Scarlett explains there is little else to do in town as Bob-Joe tells him that Maktar only wants virgins.  Mr. Anderson manages to break free!  In the confusion which follows, Bob-Joe stabs Lilly and kills her.  He reminds people that he is the mayor (which, of course, he is not) and he runs from the cave.  Another assistant from the film production arrives with the papers signed by Rajiv; we discover that it is not an agreement to use the coffee house for a location shoot - in fact, Rajiv has signed over ownership of the coffee house to Mr. Anderson!!!

• What is this money that the director says he gave to Rajiv?
• How did Lilly get tied to the floor of the Cavern?
• Why does Bob-Joe think he's there to take part in the sacrifice when Jerry Koff originally invited his political opponent the mayor there to BE the sacrifice?
• Will Maktar be unhappy with his followers?
• What will Rajiv do now that he has signed over ownership of the coffee house?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 20

At the Dead Canary, Tripp the bartender deals with some unpleasant cleaning issues in the restroom.  An incomprehensible curmudgeon enters and (perhaps?) tries to order a whiskey.  Tripp calls his mom, Angelica, to inquire once again about all the people he sends to Calivera Enterprises who never come back.  She tells him she needs more people, so Tripp talks with the curmudgeon and sends him over.

At Calivera Industries, Carla has returned from testifying before Congress.  She is worried, and tells Angelica that they must stay under the radar for a few weeks; no more killings!  Just then, Joe-Bob Solomon enters, asking Carla if she's "gotten around to that job I asked you to do," which amounts to killing Wolfgang Offenschitz.  Carla replies that she has turned over a new leaf and won't be killing people any more.  At that, Mayor Joe-Bob threatens to reveal evidence against her...40 tapes worth.  All he wants is this one last killing.  He leaves, and the curmudgeon comes in; Carla tells him she has the perfect job for him and for Angelica to "show him to his new office."  She will turn over a new leaf tomorrow.

Later, Jerry Koff runs into the Mayor and asks if they could set up a debate at his "men's club," and to show up on Friday and not tell anyone where he's going.  After Jer Koff leaves, we discover that he was, in fact, talking with Joe-Bob's brother, Bob-Joe!

Meanwhile, we find Julia looking for a coffee shop (or something to do in town,) and a fan is looking for an autograph.  Magnus mistakes Julia for his newly-found daughter, Magneta.  Mr. Ylung shows up, asking why Magnus is no longer in the basement, and demands to know what happened to the cable guy.  Magnus realizes he has killed the cable guy...the problem is that he was the witness to the new will signing; Magnus must re-sign.  Magnus tells Ylung that he told Dr. Scarlett he would be put in the will for helping Magnus discover why he had blood on his hands; My. Ylung assures Magnus that he is only trying to help him.  They leave.

• Will Tripp ever find out what's happening to all the people he sends to Calivera Enterprises?
• Will Carla turn over a new leaf?
• Will Joe-Bob succeed in blackmailing Carla into helping him?
• Will Bob-Joe show up for the debate on Friday, and if so, will he bring snacks?
• Did Magnus Adverson really kill the cable guy?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

 

Episode 19

At Rajiv's Coffee House, Rajiv is first surprised by finding a baby under the counter, then by Detective Smith, who orders a "celebratory cup o' joe."  Finally he has found a mystery in Solomon's River which needs solving; the mystery of the blood on Magnus' hands!  Magnus Adverson comes into the coffee shop and hangs around for no apparent reason until an actress enters.  She implies that she is Julia Roberts, but then claims she is Dolly Parton. Someone from the film crew runs in to tell  Julia that there has been a horrible accident on the film set!  After burning Julia's face with a cup of scalding hot coffee, Rajiv hands off the baby to an as-yet unidentified Indian man who has suddenly appeared. Rajiv then makes a run for it.

Elsewhere, Jer Koff is meeting with Dr. Scarlett to check on when the next sacrifice is scheduled.  Jer informs Scarlett that he received an offer of a sizable donation from Wolfgang Offenschitz if he "takes care of Mayor Joe-Bob."  Jer Koff asks if it would be possible to sacrifice the mayor; Scarlett replies that he would prefer a female virgin, but is willing to make an exception this time.  There is a knock at the door...it is a mysterious package being delivered from the Kentucky Candle Company. Scarlett tell Jer to take it down to the Caverns.

At the Solomon's River Marriott, we find the mysterious wealthy woman calling for her butler, Jeeves, who is uncharacteristically slow in answering.  She is tired of being cooped up in the hotel...she is anxious to find Magnus Adverson who, coincidentally enough, has just arrived at her door.  He is invited in and is shown in to see Edith (the wealthy woman.)  They embrace.  It's been 40 years since they've seen each other; they were separated after a firefight...she pulled one of the German's bodies over her and stayed there for a week, at which time she ate her way out.  She shocks Magnus with the news that they have had a child together.  Coincidentally once again, a woman, Magneta, enters the room.  Edith introduces Magnus to their daughter...

• Will Julia get to finish her film?
• Will Det Smith find out why Magnus had blood on his hands?
• Will Dr Scarlett and Jer Koff be able to find a mutually agreeable date for their next sacrifice?
• What will Magnus have to say to his newly-found daughter?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 18

At the meditation center, Brother Chilliwang complains to a fellow brother that Brother Offenschitz has been disruptive, causing a food fight in the cafeteria.  As penance, Wolfgang has been sent to the Cave of Ultimate Silence to find his inner self.  In the Cave, Brother Offenschitz is visited by the ghost of Suzanne, the love of his life that Joe-Bob Solomon was responsible for killing.  Mayor Solomon arrives and steals the ghost and leaves Wolfgang alone in the Cave.

At Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett is worried about how to run the hospital without nurses, who are now out on strike.  Unfortunately, the scabs who've been hired to replace them are not working out very well.  Magnus comes in and wants to know why his half-brother Scarlett is not helping him discover why Magnus came to the hospital with blood on his hands.  Magnus offers to put Scarlett back in the will if he helps.  Dr. Scarlett suggests they talk to a detective.

Later, at the detective agency, Detective Smith is finishing a phone call when Magnus and Scarlett arrive to seek help.  Smith is excited that a mystery has shown up on the doorstep!  Scarlett tells Smith about the blood; Smith takes samples and sends them to the lab for analysis.  When questioned, Adverson remembers little about what happened since being tied up in Ylung's basement.  They all leave to find a TV Guide so they can determine the timing of events based on what Magnus was watching...either Matlock or Perry Mason.

At Rajiv's Coffee House, Jerry Koff, a candidate for Mayor, comes in to solicit Rajiv's vote.  A very enthusiastic man, Jer Koff spreads rumors about Mayor Solomon's activities in the park and his proclivity for hearing voices. 

Back outside the hospital, the striking nurses discuss amongst themselves what their demands are: more money, fewer hours, less blood and nicer bathrooms.  They also discuss that Jer Koff has promised to help the nurses get all their demands as long as they give him kickbacks and help with his campaign. They change their picket signs to read "Vote for that Jer Koff" and decide to bake "Jer Koff muffins."  We leave this episode of Solomon's River as the nurses are chanting, "Jer Koff Muffins!  Jer Koff Muffins!"

• Will Suzanne's ghost ever return to Wolfgang?
• Will we find out why Magnus has blood on his hands?
• Will Rajiv go for Jer Koff?
• Will the nurses get satisfied?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!

Episode 17

This week we find ourselves in Rajiv's Coffee House as a wealthy woman enters with her butler, Jeeves, to order a latte (she gets coffee.) As they haggle over the five cent charge for a lid, one of the teenagers from the previous episode arrives wearing the Magnus Adverson suit.  "Magnus" asks for "free stuff" and ends up walking out with coffee and rhubarb pie.  The wealthy woman recognizes Magnus from years before, but as she tries to talk with him, she becomes distraught that Magnus does not recognize her.  Mayor Solomon shows up as the woman and her butler leave.  For some mysterious reason the mayor is intrigued by the wealthy woman, and leaves to go to the hotel and check her out.

Meanwhile, in Ylung's basement, the cable guy is still hooking up Magnus' TV.  Unfortunately, the teenager in the Magnus suit appears and tries to sell the coffee he got for free from Rajiv.  Magnus recognizes himself and asks for help with the remote; he can't get to Matlock.  Another teenager shows up to take his turn with the Magnus suit.

At Solomon's River General Hospital, Dr. Scarlett is looking at an X-ray of a tumor.  His nurse asks him about it and they discuss why so many people in town are developing tumors.  When a delivery of tumors shows up, the nurses decide that working conditions are bad enough to go on strike!  As they picket outside, a scab comes and takes a nursing job.  Adverson finds his way to Scarlett's office...he has blood on his hands!

• Who is this mysterious wealthy woman?
• Why is Mayor Solomon so interested in her?
• Will the teenagers manage to sell all that rhubarb pie?
• Why are so many people developing tumors?
• How long will the nurses be on strike?
• Whose blood is on Magnus' hands???

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!