Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi are upset at the altered state of his coffeehouse. Tripp, the guy who took over the shop while they were in Greece and turned it into a zombie-themed bar, finds them, ties them up, and tries to get them to behave like zombies. Tripp and his assistant are forced to leave by the arrival of a real zombie, whom Rajiv hires as a cleaning person to help restore his shop. Rajiv and the Princess enjoy being tied up for a while.
Meanwhile, Angelica updates Big Momma on the progress of Lake Superior towards Solomon's River. The Crew Foreman arrives to complain that "Injuns" are in the way. Big Momma recommends getting TNT and blowing them up. Crew Foreman and Big Momma have a clash of personalities and, unbeknownst to him, the Foreman is lucky to leave un-cursed.
McShane wanders the woods, still trying to find Tommy and Sally, who he simultaneously wishes would hold still AND go away forever. In a slightly different part of the woods, Tommy and Sally manage to find each other and remember they wanted to kill Dr. Scarlett for killing their baby (unbeknownst to them, there never was a baby since they have misunderstood how sex works.) They go to find a killing stick.
The Court Reporter previews the next case to Judge Graft: a divorce between the French Matron Tilapia and her new, young beau Trevor, married for only 3 months. Trevor wants her money but there is an air-tight prenup. Matron Tilapia recognizes Trevor as an idiot, and Trevor needs to leave to do his AP Calculus homework (he is in 12th grade plus 3). Judge Graft grants the divorce and moves to arrest the Matron Tilapia for possible pedophilia, when in walks the former Mr. Tilapia, who they all thought was dead! The court sucks wind in surprise. It turns out Mr. Tilapia is also an idiot. Judge Graft throws them all in jail.
- Will Tripp just meekly let somebody take over the bar that he took over?
- Is coexistence with zombies possible?
- What happens when an indigenous people is blown up?
- Will the Crew Foreman escape the wrath of Big Momma if he fails?
- Can McShane ever find Tommy and Sally, and does he really want to?
- Is Dr. Scarlett's life truly in danger?
- What will Judge Graft do to the Tilapias and Trevor?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
Dr. Scarlett is assisted by Large Marge, a terrible nurse, to operate on Sara, the car accident victim. As anesthesia is inexpertly applied, Nurse arrives to speak with Dr. Scarlett. Nurse recognizes "Large Marge" as Margaret, her bestie from primary school, who nearly ruined her life. As they relive their animosity, a zombie enters and, unnoticed, munches on the patient. Nurse is even more angry with Dr. Scarlett for hiring her arch nemesis. They notice the patient is still...alive? Impossible! Half her brain was eaten by a zombie, but it seems Dr. Scarlett has worked a miracle without working at all. Nurse invites half-brained Sara to work for her.
Magnus Adversson, sadly old again, is back at Rajiv's Coffee House. Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi enter, also returned from Greece. Magnus wishes to have Rajijv's superpower spit to be young again, but the spit no longer works. They all notice the coffee shop looks different...it is now a coffee shop that caters to zombies! Princess Lakshmi and Magnus have a Golden Girls moment where they plan a party to toast their friendship. Rajiv doesn't completely understand.
Meanwhile, out on the street, a recent double amputee is knocked from her wheelchair by a callous woman. It turns out she is a fairy god person, along with her male friend, who only grant wishes to rich, beautiful people. The handicapped woman rolls away.
Judge Graft is in a rage. His court reporter summarizes: Native Americans have holed themselves up and are burning tires, a trench is being dug from Lake Superior to Solomon's River, Judge Graft is negatively trending online because people who voted for Chief of Police are upset the judge just replaced him. Former Chief of Police Lt. Bustybottoms bursts in, drunk, after a six month bender. The Graft-appointed new police chief is missing, and Bustybottoms' butt isn't looking so hot. Det. Schmegly, the last police officer on duty, arrives. The court reporter records the entire interaction as Graft orders Schmegly to put Bustybottoms in the drunk tank. Somewhere, across the interwebs, young women Tracy, Geraldine, and Bonette see the trending video and spread it around the internet. They all head to the police station to goggle in person.
- Will Nurse continue to be plagued by her primary school nemesis Large Marge?
- Will a half-brained, untrained, car accident victim prove to be a better nurse than the other replacements?
- Can Rajiv reclaim his coffee shop and how will the Golden Girls party go?
- What will the two fairy god people do for the rich and beautiful people of Solomon's River?
- Will Lt. Bustybottom dry out? Can he whip the police department back into order with only Det. Schmegly on duty? Can he monetize his sudden, unintended internet fame?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
