Rajiv pleads with the unusually young Princess Lakshmi to understand: he doesn't want to be a child molester. She wants him as a man, and he wants her to have an early bedtime. A threatened spanking nearly brings their desires together, but Rajiv wins out when a customer enters, forcing Lakshmi into the basement again. Magnus Adversson orders a rhubarb pie with youth-inducing Rajiv spit. As a suddenly younger Magnus, Rajiv has him sign a contract for youth-spit research in Geneva, and Lakshmi reminds Rajiv she would also like a reverse formula so she can get back to normal.
Angelica returns to her mistress after having been kidnapped and nearly killed by the Uber Minion. Establishing herself as Uber Minion, Angelica asks for new instructions, and Mistress says, "Let the town of Solomon's River be on the shores of Lake Superior!" Angelica figures moving the lake will be easier than moving the town and she begins drafting plans.
Reporter Anabelle Anderson of WWSR brings breaking news: a voter registration volunteer had the stop of her head chewed off. A "down-home" eye witness reports what she saw in a way that she hopes will get her an autotuned song for her fifteen minutes of fame.
In their backwoods cabin, Bartholomew begs Cletus to help him find the lost girl they lost again. Cletus strains to think though his hunger, but maintains he sees the girl in a bush. Sally runs through their weak grasps.
Meanwhile, at the police station, Deputy George interviews a woman reporting she was inappropriately touched on the head and hand. She describes the perp: very pale, dark hair that came down in a point, pointy sideburns, like Spock, but regular ears, perhaps pointy teeth... She screams as Lieutenant Bustybottoms enters. The Lieutenant has a similar smell: cologne and feet. Bustybottoms admits he likes to smoke Indian cigarettes and they figure the perp must, too. The woman says the man "disappeared in a twinkle of light" and demands he be brought down the station...so he can touch her again!
- Is co-ed Jessica fully digested, or will she return as a zombie? Will that help her communicate better with the zombie population?
- How fast can Magnus' scientists recreate the youth-spit, and can they make it reversible?
- What will Bartholomew and Cletus do when and if they ever recapture Sally?
- Can Deputy George catch the touchy-feely criminal?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
