Rajiv tells Princess Lakshmi that Magnus Adversson's scientists may have an age-reversal-reversal formula in as soon as ten years. She insists they return her to her actual age (improbably 27) ASAP! Lakshmi reminds Rajiv that keeping her locked in the basement was exactly what drove her away from him and accidentally into the arms of his evil twin, Rojav. Rajiv laments he still has not gotten revenge on his brother for the Las Vegas Incident.
Cool 8th grader Jeremy ditches class with his friend Miller to smoke behind the school. Jeremy shows off his indestructible beard and Miller wants one! Jeremy promises he can find the woman who gave him his Super Beard. The boys are shooed away by Chet, the put-upon Sheriff's Deputy on duty.
Deputy Chet returns to the school for a break. Teacher Claire commiserates over coffee when chemistry teacher, Seth, shuffles in, groaning ominously. Claire and Chet chalk it up to an inability to retire and they wish the kids had been smoking weed for "confiscation". They seek janitor Charlie in the school basement who might have some stink weed. Charlie grows his own and Claire buys $14 worth of "the good stuff". She sprinkles it in her coffee, shares with Chet, and they praise Charlie before they all take off for the bakery.
Following Big Momma's orders, minion Angelica negotiates with a construction contractor for a large project: bring Solomon's River to the banks of Lake Superior, or, to be more accurate, bring Lake Superior to Solomon's River by digging a 250-mile trench. Angelica shows her projected map: through a large green area, houses, a river, a reservation, Federal land, etc. In lieu of proper paperwork, Angelica uses magical Twinkle Fingers to get ten guys with a backhoe to dig day and night.
Home from middle school, Miller gets in trouble with his father who got a call from the principal. Miller's father hits him for hanging around bad kids like the bearded Jeremy. Why does he hit? Because that's the way he was raised! Miller's grandfather, Pappy, enters to berate Miller's father for raising a bad son. Pappy hits Father. Father hits Miller. Miller hits the dog and is praised by Father and Pappy. Miller sasses. Pappy hits Father for having a kid who sasses. Father hits Miller for sassing. Father forbids Miller to see Jeremy. Miller promises he'll hit Jeremy. Proud Father and Pappy give Miller the family baseball bat with nails on the end.
- Will Princess Lakshmi have to go through puberty again, or will Magnus' Geneva scientists find the cure to zombie-incoulation-super-power-age-reversal-spit?
- Are there zombies in the middle school? If so, what will happen if the security, teaching, and janitorial staff are all high?
- Can ten men dig a 250-mile long trench without being noticed?
- Will Jeremy get Brendisha Scarf to inoculate middle schoolers?
- Will Miller betray his friend, or will he betray his family?
