Despite it getting dark, Princess Lakshmi and Rajiv head to her family's ancient private cable car to go up their private mountain and visit their private shrine to Vishnu, which is where Quacky the elderly duck indicated her father disappeared.
Back in the Solomon's River General Hospital, the wounded and uncommunicative Mayor is visited by his secretary who asks if he knows who shot him because she is worried that she's under suspicion. Nurse enters and shoos her out to give him a sponge bath. As soon as the secretary leaves, Nurse reveals her true motive: it was her sister the Mayor had held captive and who, while witnessing the Mayor's Mexican standoff with Lieutenant Bustybottoms, shot them both to escape. Nurse says she knows it was him, and that she's going to prove it! Unseen, the secretary, having stopped to tie her shoe, has overheard...
Miss Marjorie Dawson, basking in the afterglow of her relations with Smitty, calls for Jeeves to help her redress. Smitty, already having left in her limo, apparently was one of her most satisfying conquests. Male voices drift in from the bathroom and Jeeves goes to investigate while Miss Dawson has her post-coital cigarette. The voices are coming from the toilet--it is Jacobson and Frankie, who have been exploring the tunnels under Solomon's River after following Smitty's plumbing dig. Jeeves flushes. Miss Dawson suggests flushing twice, and the men swirl away.
A few minutes later, Jacobson and Frankie find themselves outside where they lament their disgusting state and notice they are in the shadow of Miss Marjorie Dawson's mansion. They wonder what Smitty is up to, digging tunnels under Solomon's River that lead up to the toilets in every house in town. They speculate he's gone over to the Dark Side.
Meanwhile, back in the hospital, the Mayor's secretary stops Nurse in the hallway to explain about her accusation of woman-napping. The Nurse says the secretary can only make up for not noticing the abuse going on right in the Mayor's office if she helps find her sister, who hasn't yet been seen. The secretary, still bitter over being turned down multiple times for raises, agrees to help. Nurse and the secretary vow to find a way to kill the Mayor. Unseen, the Mayor has snuck away.
- What will Princess Lakshmi and Rajiv find on the mountain, if they can even make it up there...
- Will Nurse and the secretary manage to kill the woman-molesting Mayor?
- What has become of Nurse's sister?
- What is Smitty up to, linking the tunnels to every toilet in town?
- Was the condom Jacobson and Frankie found in Miss Marjorie Dawson's toilet the one she used with Smitty, or with one of the other many men she ensnares?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
Frankie and Jacobson discuss whether Marjorie Dawson is real (yes) and her level of hotness (high, especially for an old lady) before reveling in the pipe fellow plumber Smitty has been laying under Solomon's River. They wonder if it meets up with the caves, which Jacobson insists are haunted. They wander.
Smitty, using one of the bathrooms at Miss Marjorie Dawson's mansion, is told by butler Jeeves she requires his presence. She invites him to her bed. He sits. She invites him to touch her thighs. He says the Shake Weight must be working. She demands he "Take [her] now!" Meanwhile, in India...
Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi hose off the aged and incontinent Quacky before asking him to translate the scroll he wrote and left with the genie that tells where her father is. Princess Lakshmi has difficulty translating Duck, but finally understands, and is confused because Quacky was invoking the name of Vishnu: "On top of a mountain (quack), at the alter to Vishnu (quack), your father disappeared in a ball of light (quack-quack)." Rajiv is always suspicious of Quacky, but now Princess Lakshmi also doubts this crazy explanation. Despite their questions, they go.
Detective Smegly returns to the Mayor's office where the Mayor and Detective Bustybottoms were recently shot, Bustybottoms' body having disappeared. Detective Smegly tells the suspicious secretary that they need to interview the Mayor because the recovered gun is registered to him (*dramatic music*). The secretary promises to give the Mayor the message, and looks extra suspicious.
Meanwhile, at Big Momma's lair, Angelica has some strange news: their poison candy idea was stolen before they could enact their plan! Big Momma is pleased to has gotten all the blame without the work, but Angelica worries about her being arrested. All they have is an empty factory, so Big Momma suggests blowing it up to throw them off their trail. Angelica says she will also put out a few additional conspiracy theories about Big Momma to throw them off further (like making them believe she is related to Dr. Phil).
The Mayor's secretary visits him in Solomon's River General Hospital. He is weak, and the news about the gun is startling. She insists they will need a plan.
- Where will Smitty's pipes lead Frankie and Jacobson?
- Will Smitty actually touch Marjorie Dawson?
- Can Quacky's recollection of Princess Lakshmi's father being taken up by Vishnu be true?
- What is the Mayor's secretary trying to cover up, and can Detective Smegly uncover it?
- Will Big Momma be taken down by someone else enacting her own un-acted plan?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!
