Episode 160

Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi arrive in India and realize they have become de-acclimated to the heat and smell.  She reveals that she has never told her parents about non-royal Rajiv as they had selected a prince for her to marry and...he may still be around!  Rajiv offers that he could pretend to be a prince, and she can teach him some princely ways in the back of their taxi.

A manager at Latham's Department Store announces the employee chosen to be this year's Santa Claus: Mr. Smith from Janitorial Services.  His only training: always "Ho" in threes.  Later, in the basement, Smitty is congratulated by his co-workers as the first in their department to be selected!  Jonsie is "on vacation" (drying out) and Jacobson is laid up with an elevator shaft leg injury, which means that they will be very short-staffed when Smitty is being Santa.  Smitty says to just give him a call if there's an emergency.

Rajiv brings Princess Lakshmi to a hotel room and pats the bed suggestively.  Princess Lakshmi is eager to check in with her parents, but Rajiv is especially handsy and they do a "10 minutes later" followed by a "45 minutes later" just for her.  Princess Lakshmi finally says they should go, and Rajiv murmurs ominously, "I am not who you think I am."  Lakshmi squints and cries, "Rojav!"  Rojav, Rajiv's evil twin, laughs and says Rajiv is tied up in a janitor's closet at the airport.  "A couple hours later", they finish and she goes to rescue Rajiv.

The next day at Latham's, a mother brings her son to see Santa.  As the boy is telling Santa what he wants, Smitty's walkie-talkie blares that there is a problem in the fifth floor bathroom.  Mom is coaching her son to ask for Dolce and Gabanna, diamonds, liquor, all the while Smitty's janitorial partner is calling for emergency assistance.  Smitty finally leaves to help and eventually returns, covered in bathroom stink and stain.  The Red Hat Society has shown up to speak to Santa, and he is directed to do whatever they want.  An older woman sits on his lap for 15 minutes, shooing away children just to hit on him.  She introduces herself as Marjorie Dawson and gives Smitty her address: 79 Park Lane, #12, Upper.  She makes him promise to visit her after work.

• Has Princess Lakshmi again been princess-napped by Rojav?
• What will happen to Rajiv, literally tied up at the airport?
• Will they ever get to check on the Princess' parents?
• Has Smitty become a part of a Red Hat sex ring?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!