H.A.L. has upgraded Solomon's River General Hospital's defenses causing Jervis the Janitor to be screened by multiple layers of advanced technology before allowing him access. Jervis must complete one more task before H.A.L. will even consider cryogenically freezing him with his girlfriend, Mousy Librarian: bring Magnus Aversson.
Schmitty, an unlucky maniac with poor timing, has been targeting places of local import with the outdated tactic of mailing anthrax letters. Unfortunately, both the library and Rajiv's Coffee House have blown up before his letters arrived and his terror has gone unnoticed. His next victim, Mayor Joe Bob Solomon, will have his anthrax-laced letter delivered personally.
Rajiv is too chafed to continue to make sweet, sweet love to Princess Lakshmi, so he sends her to the Solomon's River Galleria Mall.
Despite knowing the library has been blown up, Jervis goes there to find a book about electromagnetic pulses, hoping to destroy H.A.L. Geologist Dr. Stevens, trying to get directions to the police department, is roped into helping Jervis find out about an atom bomb despite the clear suggestion that an old-fashioned "blue chip" put into any computer would do the trick.
Doris, the police department secretary, is visited by the holographic megalomaniac H.A.L.. She recognizes him as the repair guy who rewired the police computer room and she realizes he now has control of all of Solomon's River. Doris is won over when H.A.L. deposits half a million dollars in her bank account. She becomes his minion/secretary.
- Will Dr. Stevens finally get to report the dead body?
- Will Jervis ever become cryogenically frozen, or will he figure out how to take down H.A.L.?
- Has H.A.L. become too big to fail?
- How will Doris balance having two jobs?
- How well does "chutney lube" work, anyway?
