Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Episode 130

Bobby McMasterfaster, new to the bustling Solomon's River and still happy-go-lucky and full of hope, looks to rent a storefront for his new barber shop.  Landlord Sean and his harpy wife agree to rent to him because they need the money.

Elsewhere, the Princess Evaleene is holding an audience for her supplicants who are ready to do her bidding.  After dancing and meditation, Princess Evaleene glows and springs extra arms!  The devotees praise her and ask instructions.  An unusually deep voice emanates from the Princess, "You must bring me the child!"  Which child?  "Tuesday's child!"  They promise to do her bidding as she flies off, mysteriously.

At Mason Brothers Moving Company, Franny Mason's employee, Tripp, has gotten word that his mother may have been packed away in one of the boxes from the former bar, The Dead Canary.  They leave to check, but do not know they are too late, because...

...in a truck headed far, far from Solomon's River, a woman with a thick foreign accent awakes to find herself in a box.  The woman, Tripp's mother and minion Angelica, doesn't know that her rival, Uber Minion, is the driver!  After he leaves to pee at a rest stop, she digs out her emergency box cutter.  Angelica just manages to roll open and closed the truck's rear door when Uber Minion returns from the bathroom.  As he drives away with her gripping the back of the truck, she swears she will get him when next he has to pee.

Young, giggly Lindsey Makesweaty has trouble learning how to sweep, but patient barber Bobby McMasterfaster hires her anyway.  A mother enters with her extremely bearded twelve year old son.  She wants it off, immediately; however, the youngster's beard is tougher to remove than is anticipated.  Lindsey tries using the broom, but only manages to knock the poor, hairy kid unconscious.  Three hours of clipping, razoring, and depilating have proven futile.  The mother jumps to the conclusion that it must be anabolic steroids, but she doesn't know that the previous day, her as-yet beardless boy went to Brendeesha Scarf's laboratory, wanting to become the Coolest Kid in School.  Unethically, she gives him the anti-zombie (pro-superhero) potion.

Meanwhile, in the Solomon's River fifth grade girl's bathroom, a nameless snob and  Allison, the coolest girl in the whole school who also has boobs, shun Stinky Marsha, discuss fifth grade boys, and wish those same boys were older.  A geeky kid asks to use the bathroom, as he's not feeling well.

Princess Lakshmi has discovered her powers are increasing and she shows Rajiv by lifting a VW bus.  She posits that the anti-zombie-ism potion they took may also have given Rajiv super strength.  He tries to lift the Volkswagen, but his power is definitely not strength.
  • Will Bobby McMasterfaster's barber shop hold up under the hope-drain that is Solomon's River?
  • Who is "Tuesday's child" and what does Princess Evaleene want with him or her?
  • Where is Uber Minion taking Angelica, and will she be able to take him down?
  • Will Angelica's son Tripp discover she has been minion-napped?
  • How many people has Brendeesha Scarf dosed with potions?
  • What will become of the Soft-but-Tough-Beard Boy?
  • Are Princess Lakshmi's powers permanent?
  • What is Rajiv's power?
  • Does the potion even inoculate against zombie-ism?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!