Episode 28

This week we find that Rajiv has finally retaken possession of the coffee house.  As he removes the dance club decorations, he discovers a young girl regaining consciousness on the floor.  She remembers a party, and is bummed when Rajiv tells her it is no longer a dance club.  As she drinks old coffee a new customer enters, asking for a fancy coffee drink.  Magnus Adverson then comes in, wanting a slice of rhubarb pie.  Rajiv dusts off a piece and serves it, despite the fact it is now black.  The young lady who woke up on the floor reenters and finds Magnus' cologne familiar.  She tells Rajiv that her mom sent her back because she "lost her virginity" there, although the girl has no idea what that means (she's 13!)  She remembers having a weird drink and then passing out. A stranger approaches her, claiming to be "Mr. Gnuly," a lawyer, asking if she needs help suing someone.  The girl's friend comes in asking if Rajiv is hiring.  After resisting as best he can, he finally ends up hiring her.  As Rajiv is busy hiring this young lady, a man and woman come in and the man flops in a chair, perhaps having a heart attack.  Rajiv advises she take him to the hospital.

Later, in a middle school study group, the two young girls we met at Rajiv's are discussing jobs and virginity. The girl from the dance party finally understands what it means to "lose your virginity," and is concerned as to how to tell whether you've had sex or not.  Her friend seems to think you have to wait until you have a baby to know for sure.  They decide the best way to get rid of the baby is to fall down the stairs, so they go to the library, where there are lots of stairs.

At the library, the girls get "shooshed" as they make plans to fall down the stairs.  They figure they'll try it on the indoor stairs because there aren't as many, and they're carpeted.  After they "shoosh" the "shoosher" for turning pages too loudly, the Head Librarian comes over to them to ask them to leave because of multiple complaints.  Brad Shershot, quarterback,  arrives and asks the girls if they'd like to hang out with him and the librarian and have mandatory premarital sex.  The girls decide that the one will start a rep, and the other will be the girls who doesn't "do it."  They all leave the library together.

Meanwhile, in the Solomon's River General Hospital morgue, Joe-Bob Solomon wakes up, wondering what he's doing in a morgue.  Dr. Scarlet's nurse arrives and screams...Joe-Bob tells her he needs to find his brother NOW!

• Will Rajiv be able to get the coffee house back into shape?
• Will the young lady find her virginity?
• Will she and her friend find a suitable set of stairs?
• What is Brad Shershot quarterback of?
• What does Joe-Bob Solomon want with his brother?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!