Detective Schmegly is busy down at the station fielding phone calls for secretary Doris and ranking Lieutenant Bustybottoms' butt. Doris hurries in to collect some weaponry for her trip to California in search of a CalTech engineer named Johnson. Unfortunately, H.A.L. is only slowed, not stopped, by her tin foil helmet, and he inflicts pain, a tin foil allergy, and directives to steer her from her task. The lieutenant wants to take her to the hospital, but because H.A.L. agrees, Doris fights him. Lieutenant Bustybottoms helps keep the tin foil on her head, and they leave...
Magnus Aversson is feeling lonely in his castle without any East Indians or ladies on bomb toilets to entertain him. Magnus' butler Benderson delivers him some tea, shocking him mightily: Magnus swears he has never had a butler for 40 years! Benderson persists, reminding Magnus that he suffers from Alzheimer's Disease, and trying to foist chamomile tea on him. Magnus calls shenanigans, and Benderson buttles back to a secret room, probably off the kitchen, where he reconvenes with... a fellow British spy! She is miffed that the butler ploy didn't work and sends Benderson back to MI to report. She will try another method because they must "get" Magnus Aversson!
The maze-like Solomon's River General Hospital still has McShane trapped. He wanders into the sub-basement, and finds a creepy midget. The midget tells him that the hospital was built on the charred ruins of a factory that used child labor to make Bic pens. The old, tragic fumes have caused some "sensitives" who come to the hospital to see and hear things. The midget says that McShane must be "special", though McShane is unsure. "Go deeper," says the midget, handing him two pills: one red, one blue. McShane goes deeper into the bowels of the hospital.
"The Graveyard" is the hottest new party spot in Solomon's River: "So awesome, it's sinful!" Sally and Tommy have found the open bar and dance poorly on the graves, happy to have a new place to boogie down and get drunk.
- Will Rajiv realize it was Princess Lakshmi who called, asking for his help?
- Will the princess really return to her kidnapper, Rajiv's evil twin Rojav?
- Can Doris fight H.A.L. enough to get to California, or will she be dragged to the hospital instead?
- Will the British Secret Service be able to use Magnus' Alzheimer's against him, and to what end?
- What will McShane find in the bowels of Solomon's River General Hospital? Which pill will he take, and what will it do?
- Anybody else going to party down with Sally and Tommy at The Graveyard?
