Episode 86

While in the basement picking up a load of Mr Pibb, the phone rings and Rajiv cannot open the trapdoor.  He is too late to answer when he finally remembers there is a basement extension, and the caller has hung up--it had been Princess Lakshmi, giving Rajiv one last chance as she hops from phone booth to phone booth on the Vegas Strip.  Unfortunately, the line doesn't call out and Rajiv is still stuck.

Somewhere in the basement of Solomon's River General Hospital, McShane finds a flashlight.  The voices of the dead speak to him from the darkness beyond the feeble beam of light, calling him to, "Go deeeeeper!" and "Learn the seeeeecrets!"

Outside the hospital, a drunk beggar receives a dime and a gob of spit before Doris, the police department secretary whose neural net is in a tug of war with H.A.L., struggles not to enter.  For a quarter, Doris enlists the drunk's help to keep her out.  The drunk is an ex-MMA fighter and beats her up a little to do as she bid.

Detective Schmedly is the only one left at the police department, the rest gone mysteriously or bullied out of their jobs by the tough women in Lowertown, speaking of whom...

Two loving Lowertown daughters have a secret: their father remains in the "Women Only" part of Solomon's River.   The younger daughter, Luanne, gives him a polka dot dress she picked out herself and they beg him to live his public life as a woman or else the other women in town will kill him...or cut of his jimmies!  He puts on the dress.

Meanwhile, the Burglary Coach gives Bob the Student his orders: get down to Lowertown and "show 'dem girls what for."

The tracheotomized Grandma Poppy holds a meeting of women and promises that men, whom she blames for her cancer, will be punished!  She knows a man is coming to "show 'dem what for" and she wants them to be ready.  Grandma Poppy gives her orders to the girls who have just hidden their father in plain view: kill any man on sight.

It just so happens that their father is the first "woman" Bob the Student Burglar encounters, and the girls remind their "mom" that all men invading Lowertown must be killed.  The girls force their father to use his "mom muscles" and the episode ends with Bob in a beefy, polka-dotted neck choke.

• How will Rajiv get out of his own basement?
• What "secrets" will McShane learn somewhere in a different basement?
• Can Doris fight H.A.L., or will she be drawn into the hospital anyway?
• Can any man survive in Lowertown?  Will Bob?  Will the man in the dress?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!