Episode 72

Detective Smegly-Seamans harried, manning the police department by himself.  The Human Resources Director enters and finds out that Lieutenant Bustybottoms' ass waxing appointment explosion was on the news.  The HR director is beside himself wondering how he will fill all the empty positions.  The teenage pizza boy arrives, being sent by the Lieutenant (prior to his butt exploding) to apply for a job.  The teenager shows how indispensable he his by answering the phone, taking messages, mopping the floor and ordering pizza for the officers.

Meanwhile, Doris, the actual police department secretary, has made herself a tinfoil helmet to keep H.A.L. out of her neurons while she loads his personality matrix onto the only computer without internet access: Lieutenant Bustybottoms' old Atari 325 laptop.  Now she has H.A.L.!

Rajiv pauses the security video DVD of his sweet, sweet lovemaking to Princess Lakshmi when she enters.  Rajiv speculates that they may be able to get Magnus' castle, either through an eventual bequeathment or through a plot to further confuse the addled old man.  The Princess believes they should be married first and recommends getting her lawyers in India to send the paperwork--which would surely unearth whatever secret Rajiv is keeping--so Rajiv suggests going to a Vegas Elvis chapel instead.  They go!  After they leave, Magnus' granddaughter, Cilantro, enters and hits "play" on Rajiv's DVD... to her horror, she finds there is nowhere in her grandfather's castle that hasn't been touched by sweet, sweet Indian lovemaking.

With the Solomon's River International Airport still closed while under a security threat, Dr. Scarlett and Nurse have been rerouted to Chicago.  Not having had time to pack before they fled the "deserted" island, Dr. Scarlett instead grabbed Dr. Turquoise's already packed luggage.  They go to an Orange Julius.

Frannie Mason reveals himself in a monologue to be the Sewer Bomber.  He wants Solomon's River to "pay" him for all the "dirty work" he did for Carla Calvera.  Frannie is in a hideout where explosives have been hidden; unfortunately, he was not the one to have hidden them as Suspicious Guy (a.k.a the Library Bomber) arrives for a new load.  They are each surprised.

• How will an untrained teenage pizza boy fare as a police officer?  Will it actually give the HR Director a conniption fit?
• Has Doris really managed to trap H.A.L. onto an old laptop?
• How will Rajiv and Princess Lakshmi's Vegas wedding go?  Will she find out about Rajiv's secret in time?
• Is Cilantro scarred for life?
• What could be in Dr. Turquoise's luggage?
• Is it a good or a bad thing when two crazed explosives experts find each other?

Find out the answers to these questions and more as we make it all up in, Solomon's River!