Student Bob's first field test instructions: break into a house in Lowertown, steal something personal from an upstairs bedroom, and bring it back to The School of Burglary by the next morning for First Gold Level Certification.
Meanwhile, two twenty-something girls in Lowertown are mercilessly harassing Officer Jared who is in way over his head. They bully him and steal his badge, his keys, his gun, and his underwear. How low can Officer Jared get?
McShane opens his pub and the regular crowd shuffles in: Tommy, Sally, and Mikey. It is a raucous evening. A writer from The Solomon's River Picayune comes to review the newest hot spot in town. With "interesting" clientele, and a "rewarding job", McShane "works hard to please the challenged of Solomon's River." Before the short bus leaves, Tommy and Mikey pose with McShane for pictures to be used in the review.
Poor Rajiv inspects the ladies room at Moo Poo Lot-So, an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet in Las Vegas, trying to figure out what happened to his beloved Princess Lakshmi and notices an open window and signs of a struggle. The owner, who finally dropped all pretense of being Chinese, refuses to refund Rajiv his money because of fraudulent Chinese food, and is patently unhelpful. The LVPD responds by sending... Lieutenant Bustybottoms! The Lieutenant is being filmed by C.O.P.S. for their next episode. Due to an extreme misunderstanding, partially for increased ratings and partially due to the distraction of anal leakage, the Lieutenant arrests Rajiv for incestuously molesting his own underage daughter.
- Will the police raid 123 Maple Street, mistaking it for a den of burglars?
- Will Bob the student bugler qualify for First Gold Level Certification?
- What will become of Officer Jared in the same area of Solomon's River that Bob is about to burgle?
- How will a good (or bad) review of McShane's pub affect business?
- What has happened to Princess Lakshmi, and what will become of Rajiv, hauled in for underage sex offenses when he wanted to report an adult kidnapping?
- What's Lieutenant Bustybottoms doing in Vegas?
